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Frankly...who cares what a judgemental person thinks? Your wedding is about you and your FI and having a Catholic ceremony is very special. If your friend has an issue with the Church, well, she knows what's coming when she sees your invitation.
Why do you think people would be insulted or mad about how you choose to do your ceremony for your wedding? Many weddings are religious, it's not uncommon and if they have such a huge problem with it, then they shouldn't come.
Honestly, there will always be someone who judges. But it is SO not worth your time to worry about their opinion. They will always find something to be snobby about and truly, it is a sign of insecurity and unhappiness.
Do what you want and ignore the drama.
I would have told her that it is a common thing for catholic weddings. She is the one that is being ignorant. I would have corrected her and told her that we are doing it in ours too.
Other than that my only other suggestion is to ignore it. People always find something wrong with things if they want to. It's about their attitude and unfortunately you can't control everyone's.
She can either sit through it or bounce. You dont have to justify anything, puh-lease.
i find that a surprising thing to pass judgement on really....giving flowers to mary is just not a very extreme/unusual thing and i think it is super weird that your friend was upset about it. it is a lovely moment and dedication. don't worry about your silly guest.
As I have gotten older I have learned not to let comments like that go so easily. Rude people should be called on their comments.
I would have responded with a calm "What is wrong with that?" And possibly explained the reason for the practice. She would have either felt stupid for her comment and ignorance or she would have learned at least to shut up.
HOW RUDE!!! I'm not Catholic, but anytime I have witnessed that part of the ceremony it is always meaningful!
I don't even know why that would bother her. I mean, I can understand some protestants get really upset over Mary, but you got to figure when you walk into someone else's place of worship, there might be something happening you don't agree with.
I think you should have said something to her when she said that to you, because it seems like now when she finds out, it's going to be awkward, like you specifically didn't tell her, for whatever reason.
Maybe she doesn't understand why it's done, and she would have benefitted from an explanation. Or, like another PP said, she would at least learn when to shut up. I do not believe in god so we are not having a religious ceremony, but I have always made it a point to respect other's religions and I would NEVER judge someone else's religious practices, especially ones I don't understand.
Maybe you could speak to her again and say something like, "Remember you said something about that couple placing flowers at the Virgin Mary's feet... I forgot exactly what you said. FH and I are planning on doing that, so it got me thinking about what you said..." If you say it in a non-confrontational way, it will likely come off like you're just asking her opinion on it, and if she has a problem with it, you can address your point of view. I think if it's important to you that she's not disgusted about it, as you said, you should try to have an open and honest conversation with her about why she had that reaction and what your feelings are regarding it.
In the future, I would just say something like, "That's very common at Catholic weddings... we're even planning on doing that at ours, and we're not even having a full mass." Or whatever the issue is in the future, address it right away so it doesn't become something that you stress out about.
She should also realize that you're getting married soon, so in criticizing other weddings, she is potentially sticking her foot in her mouth, so to speak, with regards to your wedding (like she did in this case). She should have a little more tact.
You seem to be a person who is caring and sensitive to others. My advice? Don't invite her. You don't want to offend her. 
(Sry. It's been a long day.)
I say, in a nicer way, because obviously you can't say this directly, but in not so many words:"oh shove it" :)
Its about you, your guy, and your relationship with God.
@RobynB: I've already invited her, I can't Not invite her....
I didn't say anything to her when she said this to me, for one thing, because I am not Catholic, so I didn't know quite what to say....... It just made me uncomfortable and caught me off guard/made me a little speechless....if you know the feeling.
I ignore judgmental people, who are they to judge someone else. its your day and plan on having your ceremony the way you want it.
I have run into a little of this too. Also there are enough people around who think we actually worship the statues. If you are interested in having a good "explanation" if it comes up again, there are resources around the web, one in my favorites is:
http://www.americancatholic.org/Newsletters/CU/ac1001.asp
One of my favorite quotes is from Bishop Fulton Sheen, who said "There are not more than 100 people in the world who truly hate the Catholic Church, but there are millions who hate what they wrongly perceive to be the Catholic Church." There's a lot of ignorance out there.
I learned a long time ago to ignore such people and go ahead with my plans.
@starry: I agree that you should take the opportunity to address it with her. Instead of looking at it as someone being judgemental of you, it is a chance to educate someone on the Catholic faith. As a whole, Catholics shy away from sharing our faith with others which just continues misunderstandings. @Magdalena's quote from Bishop Fulton Sheen is spot on. The fact that you aren't "Official" doesn't mean you can't stand up for your faith- in fact, I have found those who have converted to be some of the most powerful and effective evangelizers and defenders of the faith. Best wishest to you and your FI
PS we brought flowers to the Holy Family and after Eucharist it wss my favortie part of the Mass.
I can't imagine why laying flowers at Mary's feet would be insulting to someone. If they have a problem with it, whatever. We had a Catholic ceremony with plenty of non-Catholics present but didn't even worry about what people would think about the ceremony. We didn't end up doing the presentation of flowers just because of the layout of the church but it was definitely an option to do so. I agree with the other bees, if she brings something like that up again just let her know it is actually really common to do that.
That's awful!! Everyone's choice of ceremony is their own. A lot of Hispanic people do the laying of the flowers at the Virgin's feet and its lovely I sure will be including that into our ceremony. At the end of the day, you do what you want. There will always be someone who will talk its just sad that they have to comment over something that is very personal, and dear to one.
I'm Buddhist so you should hear the things I'm dealing with right now. lol Screw the haters. We all have a right to believe whatever we want to believe in. I have been to many Catholic ceremonies and I think it's such a sweet part of the ceremony.
@bloodgo1: Some people might say that laying flowers at the feet of a statue of the Blessed Virgin is idol worship. Of course, those same people have no problem laying flowers at the grave of a loved one.
It's the same as the people who chastise Catholics for "praying to saints" but a week later ask you to pray for their sick aunt.
I honestly believe that if someone accepts your invitation to come into your house of worship during your wedding ceremony that they should be open and non-judgemental about the ceremony. It is your wedding, and you should be able to do it your way. As a guest (and a friend) she should be supportive of you and your choices.
I always think that this part of a Catholic ceremony is lovely, although I don't really understand it's meaning or significance. I know who Mary is of course... I just don't know why some brides choose to lay flowers there.
@Missbliss: from Magdalena's link: "Flowers are used constantly in Catholic devotions. They are a living species and testify to our belief in the life of the Resurrection. They are also symbols of affection, which simply say, "I love you" or "Thank you" to Christ, his mother or a saint."
@Missbliss: The flowers laid at the statue of Mary is not a part of the Catholic ceremony. It's a cultural tradition that comes from Mexico. Basically, you lay flowers at the statue of Mary, then at the end of the ceremony, you pray that your family will be guided by the example of the Holy Family.
I would've informed her that it is very common for ppl to do that during Catholic Weddings. And then I would've backed it up with "Well, actually, we're doing that at mine as well." And her snotty tone would've changed, trust me.
Some ppl have their own idea of what a wedding would be, which is great! It's so cool to go to all these different types of weddings and see how each style signifies that bride and groom.
If you have a guest that doesn't see the wedding for what it is (the celebration of joining two loves/lives together for eternity) and they only nitpick on the details of the ceremony (which is what a bride should be doing anyway, not their guests!) Then something tells me she's probably not married and still has to experience this for herself.
In the meantime, enjoy the ceremony your FI and you picked out because all that matters is you both on this very special day.
So offensive to knock someone's religious beliefs at THEIR wedding.
Having said that, by means of explanation, I've noticed that people have less-than-stellar responses to religious traditions ALL THE TIME and it may not be complete ignorance or because they're hostile to the religion itself but because rituals can be...boring. I've heard/seen a lot of people sigh about Catholic masses, not because they dislike Catholics, but because they know they're going to be sitting there for an hour. Same reaction when I went to a Greek Orthodox wedding. And I've seen people grumble about communion because they can't partake in it and heard people sigh and say, "Oh it was a Jewish ceremony and they did the whole thing with the wine and we had to watch them sign the ketubah and crack the glass and blah blah blah" (I actually heard someone say that, with the "blah blah blah") I mean, people have a tendency to react that way just because they're not particularly engaged in the ritual.
Does that make it appropriate to do? Absolutely not. It's a ceremony, not musical theatre! But my point is, don't take comments like that too seriously and have faith (ha!) that such reactions will be in the slim minority--everyone who comes to your ceremony is there joyfully to witness your marriage and they understand that includes watching you partake in religious rituals. Don't let people make you insecure about your religion.
@JennyW1:A lot of people do get upset about the communion thing. Both my husband and I and our families are Catholic, but a lot of our friends aren't.
I had a friend who would get really mad about this. Which, to be honest, I kind of didn't get. No one was telling her she wasn't "worthy" enough to receive, she just didn't believe in the transubstantiation. And if she thought it was just bread and wine, why would it matter that she couldn't receive?
I understand feeling excluded during religious traditions. For instance, if I had an LDS family member, I would be sad that I couldn't attend their wedding. But to me it comes down to, if I feel really left out, its probably because I want to partake in what they are doing. And if I want to partake in it, I probably believe in it, and if I believe in it, I should convert. And if I don't believe in what they are doing, I shouldn't worry about being left out.
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I was having lunch with a friend this weekend and she was telling me about a Catholic wedding she knew of, and how they *even laid flowers at the feet of the Virgin Mary* in a snotty tone of voice.
I didn't tell her that they often do that in many Catholic ceremonies. I am having a ceremony outside of mass...I'm not a Catholic(just honorary for now). That's also going to happen at my ceremony, and I didn't tell my friend that. I really don't want her to be so disgusted about it:(
How would you deal with people who will be judgmental about your ceremony? I don't want her or others to get so insulted/mad about it. I do know this church does that at the ceremony. I think it is sweet too, to hand your mom's flowers, as well.