Post # 1
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Hey Bees! Just wanted to see what you were all doing to help relieve stress. My wedding is 12 weeks away and I am currently going CRAZY!!! There is SO much to do still, From finding my FMIL affordable airfare to buying my MOH dress. Can anybody please help me before I go insane. Thanks!
Post # 3
Before wedding planning came into your life, what did you do to relax?
My advice from my planning:
Make checklists and sign up for the online notifications of airfare sales.
As far as relieving stress, I made sure to have one "non-wedding" night every so often the few months before the wedding and one night where I would try and blow through a DIY project.
As far as dresses for MOH- what are you looking for- there’s tons of resourseful ladies here!
Post # 4
Let’s see… I go to the gym and/or day spa (massages and facials are my savior), I blog, and I call friends that are removed from whatever situation I want to complain about — and I post on weddingbee!
Post # 5
Well, one thing I am doing is delegating like crazy. Everybody in the wedding party is responsible for their own shopping. My FI is responsible for his own family. While I would certainly like to be supergirl and do everything myself if only for the oooohs and aaaahs from my adoring public, nobody really appreciates how much trouble I’m going to unless they share a little bit of my pain.
Then reserve some time to do something totally mindless and non-wedding related – preferable starting at least an hour before bedtime, so you don’t have those crazy wedding planning nightmares.
Seriously, let your FI take care of finding a plane ticket for his own mother. You’ll have years of being the one responsible for making sure she gets a birthday card and a Mother’s Day card. He can (and should) be responsible for getting his own family to the wedding, if for some reason they are too helpless to do it themselves.
Post # 6
Try using sidestep.com to find airfare. I have always had luck there. Don’t know if that helps your stress though.
I like making lists, and then crossing things off as they get done. Crossing things off makes me feel like I’m making progress.
Post # 7
I agree with suzanno – delegate! Why can’t your FMIL find a flight herself? Or your fiance? That doesn’t have to be your job.
Whenever I feel overwhelmed I just take care of a couple of minor things on my long list (like order the cake topper, find ribbon for the flower girls’ hair, whatever), and at least I feel like I accomplished something! My fiance is nice and will ask what he can do to help when he notices me freaking out, and just him offering to take something off my plate automatically calms me down.
3 months is still a long time – focus on the major things that HAVE to get done now and work on the little things as you have time. Also, I bought some really nice, luxurious bubble bath and break it out from time to time…
I’m switching jobs, buying a condo, and getting married all in the next, eek, 7 weeks – now talk about insane!
Post # 8
I agree with the others above – keep a checklist and designate some non-wedding time. My date is now five months out and a couple of weeks ago I had a mini-meltdown from the stress of the details. It can get overwhelming, so reach out to your friends and family. If they can’t help with the actual work (or you would prefer to do it yourself), they can at least talk you down or give you an outlet. Alternately, they can help you take some time for YOU by scheduling a movie night or dinner or some non-wedding fun.
I’ve been speaking with some people I know that are already married and have received some great advice that has helped keep me calm. One co-worker said not to worry overmuch about the details – if something doesn’t go according to plan, the only ones that will know about it are you, the groom and the moms. Another person said that planning a wedding is great practice for marriage. 🙂 If nothing else, the last one puts things into a bit of perspective. Once you’ve gotten deep into the trenches of planning, it’s easy to be overwhelmed by the pressure/desire to have a perfect day, but really, the wedding is about celebrating your marriage not going crazy planning.
Take a few deep breaths and make sure one of the items on your to-do list is taking care of you and your emotional needs.
Post # 9
I read for a bit before going to bed, get a facial at least once a month (suggestion for better skin before wedding from my MUA), and have a calendar w/dates of when things need to get done. When I stick to my calendar and get things done, I always feel better. And like someone said above, do the little things on your list whether it is just calling someone to confirm something or ask that one question you have been meaning to of your vendor. Being able to cross something off your list may help your stress and anxiety. 🙂
Post # 10
A bottle of red wine and a block of cheese. haha.
My biggest source of stress is probably the people who make snarky comments, particularly those who say that the details will go unnoticed. Crafting is actually a good stress reliever for me, so it’s sort of like an "I’ll show them!" thing while being productive.
Post # 11
I actually didn’t destress until the day of the wedding. It finally helped that my mom herself told me not to stress out about things. i.e. if I can’t hunt down people for formal family portraits, just let it go. Take photos with the people that are there. If they really want a photo, they’ll get one with you later.
So sit down and try to figure out what’s really really important to you, vs others, during this wedding and try to focus on those. Believe it or not, not everything is a priority. And I was going nuts trying to make everyone heppy etc.
On delegating, I went nuts chasing everyone around to check what their status was and to nag them to get stuff done, esp the FI. So only do it, if you trust the people to do what you need to do, or if it’s not one of your major priorities. So if it’s doesn’t go exactly as you imagine it’s not a big deal.