Post # 1
I’ll start off by saying I’m not a parent, I’m just curious about other people’s perspectives.
Last night my husband and i went out to dinner. It wasn’t an upscale restaurant, but it wasn’t Chuck-E-Cheese either. There was a large family sitting next to us with about 5 kids ranging in ages I’m estimating between 3 and 10. There were at least twice as many adults. The children were MONSTERS! I realize that babies sometimes have screaming fits and when I sit near one at a restaurant I have to accept it and try to drown it out, but these were not babies. They were running around and under tables, bumping into servers and other patrons, jumping on chairs, screaming, crying, blocking the entrance to the restrooms, and just being downright terrors. The family did nothing! Not even a half assed “shhh”. First time around the waitress politely asked them to tell their children to sit down. They ignored her. Second time around the waitress took it upon herself to tell the kids to cut it out (she wasn’t so polite this time and I don’t blame her). They ignored her. Third time around the assistant manager came and told the family politely but firmly that the kids needed to stay seated because he didn’t want them to get hurt. They ignored him. Fourth time around the head manager came and told one of the little boys to get back in his seat just as he was sneaking up behind me and about to hurl a salt shaker at my head. At this point we just hastily asked for our check without staying for dessert because we couldn’t tolerate it anymore. Our waiter said “you guys have been great! I’m so sorry about your neighbors.” (?) Oh well, the restaurant rewarded our greatness with a free dessert to go. I don’t know what happened to the family after we left but I hope they left a good tip.
Now, if I had been the parent in that situation, I would have escorted my children out of the restaurant and dealt with them somewhere that no one else would have to be bothered.
So, parents, what would you have done?
Post # 3
I woul dhave done what you said and escorted my child out and discussed it with her as in you either behave yourself or we are goung home. My sisters kids are like the one you describe and it drives me crazy.
Post # 4
Nope, my kids know their butts stay in their seats. If they are not behaving they go to the car, it usually only happens once and they know what will happen. We have taken our children out with us in public from the time they are very young and I think it helps because they just grow up knowing our expectations.
Post # 5
I don’t have kids yet either so maybe I just truly don’t understand but I would not take my kids to a restaurant if they couldn’t behave properly. It seems like more often than not kids on restaurants just don’t behave properly and their parents say nothing.
DH and I have actually been told off by parents because we have started asking kids to stop (in a completely polite manner) in various circumstances.
Post # 6
I would definitely step outside with my kids and tell them to settle down. ESPECIALLY if that many people were coming up to the table telling us that, I would tell them If they didn’t listen, I would let them know we would leave early and next time they would have to stay home. If it happened again I would give one FINAL warning saying this is it or we will leave and next time they would stay home with a sitter. If it contined I or my FI would bring the child/children to the car and wait with them, and the other would handle getting our check and such. hopefully the food would be almost done so we could get it to go!
Post # 7
OMG, I hate when parents don’t you know parent their children. My son is 2, so he is starting to get in the terrible two’s. Oye when he starts to act up in public, I try to distract him or if that doesn’t work we leave. I am sorry there are some of us parents who do try to parent their child.
Post # 8
@Aquaria: that kind of behavior would not have been tolerated by me or FI. If my child did somehow refuse to settle down we would have apologized and left and dealt with it at home. I wouldn’t subject other diners around me to dealing with my monsters behavior issues. Granted, my son knows how to behave in public settings like this and if he slips he gets “the look” and that usually is enough to get him to pipe down. He is a child after all, he has his moments, but he’s not a barbarian, so he knows what’s proper and whats not.
Post # 9
I’m not a parent, but my parent friends will usually leave the restaurant and let their child cool off for a little bit. Not long ago, we were walking into a restaurant and in the parking lot, there was a mom sitting in a minivan with her child in full tantrum mode. I then saw a waiter walking out to her in the parking lot with a to-go meal. Apparently, she waited outside with the screaming child while the dad sat inside with the other kids and their food arrived before the tantrum stopped. I thought it was very nice of the waiter to bring out her meal.
Post # 10
I absolutely hate this. I probably would have said something to the useless parents myself, I don’t have patience for that kind of thing. Control your damn children, people!! My parents raised my sister and I to be well behaved kids and we never pulled that kind of shit. It is possible, and props to the other parents who do control their kids. But the ones who don’t…
Post # 11
Ugh I despise seeing this. I have one child and he is 5. He enjoys going to restaraunts and I don’t hesitate to take him. He stays seated, either engages in the conversation or entertains himself, orders for himself, says please and thank you, and eats politely. He has grown up knowing that this is the expectation from him and nothing less will be tolerated.
In the last year or so, he has even learned to self asses. Meaning, I can tell him that I’d like to go to a restaraunt for dinner and he’ll either be cool with it or occasionally tell me that he’s tired or doesn’t feel like being in a crowded place and he’ll ask if we can eat at home instead. No different than SO or I if we aren’t feeling up to it. Sometimes we skip eating out, sometimes he has to suck it up and deal with it (ie: a family member’s birthday dinner or something), and sometimes we compromise and get our food to go.
Post # 12
About half of my cousins ‘parent’ like this and it drives me up the wall. Instead of it being a one time thing it is every. family. gathering. Probably including my wedding :/ I just cringe every time I think about it. When I was little I could not not not sit still after finishing my food. At restaurants my parents compromised between me running around and staying put by letting me do laps around the table. I stayed close and out of most people’s way, but also got my energy out without a screaming fit.
Post # 13
As a parent of a child who is now 2- I know my child’s limits- which means we have not gone out to dinner lately. It would not be fair to the other diners. So we get take out and eat at home. I know this is only a phase and she will grow out of it soon- but why should other people have to suffer because my child can’t behave at the moment?
Post # 14
@Aquaria: This is infuriating and is def not the kids fault it is thier parents. How rude to allow your kids to disrupt someone else’s evening.
I’d leave the restaurant with my children.