(Closed) How Do You Handle Your S.Os Sexual Past?

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
3525 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

We don’t share more than the basics (just the number of partners). Any more than that feels like an invasion of privacy, so thankfully, I’ve never had to worry about this!

Post # 4
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

We’re waiting til we get married, but FI has had sex before. He told me who he did it with (small number, so it’s not like it took all night!) and if he was dating them at the time or if it was a random thing. He volunteered it, and I haven’t really asked any more questions. 

I can say that if I was in that situation, I’m not sure I would be thinking of the other girls. I might be in a different situation, though, since there were only two of them and it was over five years ago. Not too much of an emotional threat, there :). 

Post # 5
Member
5755 posts
Bee Keeper

That’s exactly why it shouldn’t be discussed. Once you’ve heard it you can’t forget!

Post # 6
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

It used to bug me, but now that we’ve been together so long I rarely (read: never) think about it!

Post # 9
Member
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I handled it with condoms until we had both been tested. Now i handle it by not asking questions i don’t want to know the answer to. 

Post # 11
Member
1612 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I know his number and certain specific people, but other than that I don’t care.  We are both in our 30s (well I almost am), and we both have pasts.  I just keep it there and don’t need to know the specifics.

Post # 12
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Oneeleven: Ahh, I can see that. Because it’s as though he’d be thinking of her if you did the same things? I can understand that for sure! I guess with things like that I talked to him about how much that bugged me. (sometimes he used that wording too, but in general I think he was pretty smart in the way he worded stuff at the beginning!) Once I talked to him and he reassured me I’m better in every way (cue the piling on of compliments) the “ickiness” started to subside.

I didn’t get over that stuff completely until a few months ago, to be honest! So if we’re at all similar, I think it’s normal if it’s only been a year or so, yknow?

Post # 13
Member
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@Oneeleven: My post wasn’t in response to your situation. You asked how people handled knowledge of their partner’s sexual past. Right? So my post was about ME! Go figure. 

Post # 15
Member
7299 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I only know the number of partners.  We really haven’t shared more than that- thankfully!

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