Post # 1
My FI and I are trying to figure out how to invite key people that we really want to attend the wedding but we aren’t interested in their spouses attending. There are people in both of our lives that we cherish and have relationships with, but quite frankly, we don’t know their spouses at all. And there are other people who will be invited that they know.
So our question is how do you invite that specific person without insinuating that you’re inviting their spouse as well? Is it in the way the invitation is addressed?
Post # 3
When it comes to spouses – as in the couple is married, i’m pretty sure you have to invite the spouse as well.
Well – let me rephrase that. It’s your wedding, you can do whatever.. but just remember that some of them might not show because you are making them choose your wedding, or their spouse [and in most cases, their spouse will win], and you could have alot of other angry guests as well.
Post # 4
It it’s their husband or wife or partner of many years then it is extremely rude not to invite them and very likely they won’t come without them. Otherwise write “we have reserved one seat in your honor” on the rsvp card.
Post # 5
It is extremely rude to not invite someone’s spouse.
If you are going to do it anyway, then yes, you would just address the invitation to them alone. And be prepared for some awkward conversations. If you REALLY feel like you have to do this, then I would have the conversation before you send the invitation. If you don’t think they’re going to be offended, then they won’t mind hearing it from you ahead of time, right?
It’s not about their spouses’ opinions. It’s about THEIR opinions. And since you “cherish” those people, you should really consider their feelings when making the decision. Even if you ask them and say “Oh, it’s okay if you have to,” it’s only because they are being polite. If you value these relationships, show them the respect of inviting their spouse.
Rude. One of the rudest things you can do on your guest list, in my opinion.
Post # 6
What? Not invite a spouse? I have never heard of that. It’s not a work function, it’s a wedding, you really should invite ALL married couples, engaged couples, as well as couples who live together.
It would be really, really bad form to only invite half of the couples I mentioned above. How “key” are these people to you and your FI if you don’t know their spouse anyway?!
If I was invited to a wedding without my husband, I certainly wouldn’t even think of attending.
Post # 7
Thanks for the feedback! We’ll go with the original plan of inviting spouses. They are already included on the invite list anyway. We’re just trying to make sure we fall within our expected number of guests.
We were totally unsure of how to do this but now we know better.
Post # 8
@TaurianDoll: Good decision I know it is tough, you don’t want to end up with too many people or too few people! Navigating the guest list is definitely one of the trickier parts of wedding planning.
Post # 9
@NAvery: Definitely. And I think it takes knowing the people you’re inviting. Like I don’t want to control EVERY decision of my guests but I know that some will not bring their husbands as they will look at this as an opportunity to give him some “down time” at home. But sometimes you just want to be totally sure that will actually happen lol