how do you keep from getting stressed out about TTC?

posted 2 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
3622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

shadybaby4ever:  So I am just about to start TTC, so take this with a grain of salt– I haven’t walked the walk yet :-). The advice I got from my OBGYN was to take a wine and dine approach for the first 3-4 months. Have too much wine and a lot of sex and chances are you will get pregnant in the first three months. If that doesn’t happen, that is when he recommended charting and OPKs. I believe the argument was that stress isn’t good for TTC and that is is less of a science than an art. If you can have fun with it, you are more likely to succeed.

As a scientist who doesn’t take anything lightly, this is hard. I am making the decision not to chart or use an OPK until Valentine’s Day. We are also not talking about TTC– it isn’t something that comes up regularly. Other than the “wow– this is the last time we are going to have sex with birth control. That is just so weird” comments. I think treating it as a “Pollywog is probably going to be pregnant this summer” instead of searching Pintrest for the cutest Christmas pregnancy announcements really helps.

The other thing I am doing is focused on being the best employee and best dog mom I can be. By staying busy, you can continue to live your life without it being something that consumes your every thought. I am so excited to be a mom, but I know it is important for me to do really well at work so maternity leave will go smoothly. I am putting in lots of extra effort now, in case I have to miss our busy season next year.

Post # 3
Member
371 posts
Helper bee

shadybaby4ever:  same here… this is my 7th cycle ttc and it was okay in the beginning until I didn’t get my BFP is where I kind of stressed out a little… My husband on the other hand always tells me not to worry and tells me that its all In God’s hands… But some times I cant help but worry… I think the best way to stay stress free is to not think so much about it.. Even though it’s probably all you can think about.. Try doing things that you already normally do. I finally started temping this cycle & I have learned so much, so if you really want to know more you could temp as well. 

Post # 4
Member
2402 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

shadybaby4ever:  Well, keep in mind that many, many people go about TTC in a very relaxed manner. They just stop using birth control, have lots of sex, and see what happens! And what usually happens is that you get pregnant….Those people don’t hang out on TTC boards a lot, though, or not as much. If you have problems conceiving or have a reason to need to know when you ovulate (or just want to guarantee you’re hitting your fertile window) then you can get more scientific about it. Really all you need to know is to take a prenatal vitamin and have sex at least every third day- that’s what my gynocologist said when I told her we wanted to start trying. Really you can make it as in-depth or as relaxed as you’d like! I guess my advice is to have fun with it- have lots of sex and think of silly baby names and know it make take a few months and that’s ok. Best of luck to you!

PS my husband and I took a fairly relaxed approach (just had sex a lot in the middle of my cycle and I paid attention to cervical mucous) and when I wasn’t pregnant after three months then I used an OPK and got pregnant that month. My baby is almost four months old now.

Post # 5
Member
2251 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m one of those balls-to-the-walls charters ladies, on cycle #6 TTC. My best advice is

take your time deciding what you want to track or not track

make sure to have fun with DH (date nights, vacation if you can, etc)

take a good prenatal. Centrum Specialists Prenatal with DHA combo pack or the Walgreens Prenatal+DHA combo pack (the two separate pills kind NOT the combo pill) are great affordable options.

If you do decided to chart/use opk’s/etc, do it at your own pace. You’ll see a lot of it on these boards but don’t feel peer pressured. This is up to you! This worked for me…I figured i’d wait longer to chart and use opk’s but I just did it when I wanted to.

Month 1: charted beginning/end of periods

Month 2: added charting CM when I remembered to and charting  days we BD

Month 3: added oral temps and OPK’s (DH and I started trying to BD more during FW once I figured out when that was)

Month 4-6: changed to vaginal temps (more accurate), continued OPK’s

 

Post # 6
Member
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

As PPs have said, it’s only as complicated as you make it. Take a prenatasl vitamin every day, don’t use birth control and have lots of sex. Your odds of getting pregnant within 6 months of doing this are pretty good.

We are starting the IVF process, which is super complicated by default, and are thinking about stress management a lot. I’ve re-started daily meditation to help clear my mind. I’m also looking into a gym membership. I need to get out of my own crowded head, and working out has helped me achieve that goal in the past.

Post # 7
Member
8377 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

shadybaby4ever:  Just relax.  And do things you can’t do pregnant, like eat raw sushi and drink wine.  The majority of people get pregnant within 6 months.  You can chart if you want, but the majority of people just start with the old fashioned way- unprotected sex.  And that works just fine usually.

Post # 8
Member
3522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

shadybaby4ever:  In my 12th cycle TTC now.  This is how my journey has panned out..

Cycles 1-3: We quit preventing, DTD whenever we wanted, waited to see what happened.  I did track AF using FF for about 6 months prior to TTC. I did POAS once each cycle.

Cycles 4-6: Started tracking CM and making sure we were hitting the FW.  In the 6th cycle I started temping and confirmed that I was ovulating. Didn’t POAS until the 6th cycle, had an emotional breakdown when AF arrived. 

Cycles 7-12:  I took a more relaxed approach and temped some here and there.  Had a few meltdowns with DH.  We have made an appointment for a referral to an RE. 

As far as de-stressing…I’m not sure.  I tend to feel much better after communicating my feelings with DH and a couple of close friends. When AF arrives, DH tries to do something nice for me and we usually make a date to go have sushi and a few beers.  We try to enjoy our time we have with just the two of us.  The boards up here are super helpful to find others who are going thru the same emotions/struggles as I am…that helps a lot too. 

Post # 9
Member
1663 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I agree with PP’s. Its really up to you on how in depth you want to be at the beginning. I personally chose to start charting a few month prior to TTC because I have really irregular cycles and I wanted to know if (and when) I was ovulating. It would have been very difficult for us to keep having sex every other day or every third day for +6 weeks. So charting has been super helpful for me. It’s actually made me much less stressed to know exactly what my body is doing and when we can relax and stop having as much sex! lol. But if I was regular from the get go, I probably wouldn’t be putting this much effort into it.

As for not being stressed….this is only our first cycle and I haven’t even O’d yet…I guess I just keep telling myself that it will happen when the time is right and its completely out of my hands.

 

Post # 10
Member
409 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

shadybaby4ever:  Given my personality and wanting to be in control, I wasn’t great at keeping my stress level down. After I hit the 12 month mark, I started to get anxious every month. Both my husband and I travel a lot for work and my irregular cycle had me frustrated from timing perspective. So after a year of trying, I started to chart and that seemed to keep my expectations at bay. I got pregnant on my 10 month of charting (22 months of TTCing) and prior to getting pregnant, I went to yoga, acupuncture and got massages. Those were temporary one hr fixes and I resorted back to being stressed. So my husband implemented a date-night every time I got my period. He sometimes surprised me with a wknd out of town or a nice dinner date. That helped recharge for the upcoming cycle. I’m not sure if this was helpful but I think ultimately you have to find your own pace. Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
9525 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

We just started TTC, so we’ll see how things actually end up going.

We talked about charting prior to TTC and my husband and I agreed that we would rather not chart, have lots of sex, and take a more relaxed approach to start out. We’re only one cycle in, but it’s going well so far. I guess we might be in a bit of a unique situation, in that, prior to TTC, we both agreed that we wished we had more sex but neither of us is great at initiating. So this cycle we’ve been having sex every other day and it’s kind of great. I suppose it’s not spontaneous, but I don’t really mind that. I’m also going in with the expectation that it will take us 6-12 months to get pregnant. We, like you, are making a concious effort not to let TTC stress us out.

Another bit thing for us is that we’re also trying to do this together, as much as possible. I think one of the things that can make TTC stressful is when the woman is much more invested because she’s the one charting and taking pregnancy tests while the guy is, to some degree, less involved and therefore less supportive. So we’ve decided that we will read any pregnancy tests together so that he is involved in the BFNs just as much as me.

Now all this is said from a girl who’s only three weeks in! So take it with a grain of salt. We may get anxious about not getting pregnant and start charting. Or maybe we’ll get tired of having sex every other day and use OPKs to be sure we hit the fertile window. Who knows. But I do think it’s important to think about these things and make concious decisions about how to handle the stress.

I love the idea of a date night when you get your period. Especially sushi. I’ve been meaning to get in a big sushi dinner, in case we get pregnant more quickly than expected. Now I’m craving sushi…

Post # 15
Member
9525 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

shadybaby4ever:  I think youv’e got a great attitude! My husband is  the same way, I’m definitely going to rely on his chill throughout this process. It can be really overwhelming seeing all the charting posts on here, but I’ve come to decide that the approach to TTC is much like wedding planning – different strokes for different folks! And you’ve already got a headstart on me, since we started  TTC right off BC, I have no idea how long my natural cycles will be, so I have no clue about my fertile window! 

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