Post # 1
What do you tell yourself when you’re trying to keep things in perspective? I’m not extremely stressed out (yet), but my brain gets fixed on minute wedding details all the time.
I tell myself, “I’m marrying my best friend. The people I care about will be there, and that’s all that matters. Who cares if everything doesn’t stay perfectly on schedule.”
Easier said than done, of course.
The excitement and nervousness reminds me a bit of the way I felt as a kid the night before the first day of school! 🙂
Post # 3
I’ve been getting caught up in stupid details and letting myself become a stress case, so my mantra has been “FI and I are getting married. Whether it’s in a church, the reception hall or a McDonald’s, the end result will be the same and that’s all I want.”
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2011 - Bent Creek Winery (Livermore, California); Reception: Family Residence (San Ramon, California)
It really helped to focus on life after the wedding. I couldn’t wait for our marriage to start and for us to return to our normal, quiet everyday lives. Just thinking about snuggling on the couch with him after a long day and catching up on our favorite TV shows was enough to get me through any worry and stress. 🙂
Post # 5
Putting a post here so I can find this thread when I become stressed out.
At the moment I’m fine, I still have loads of time to plan and am easily distracted by the other things going on in my life. I know at some point i’ll become a ball of stress but one of the reasons why I love my other half is that he knows how to calm me down when i’m upset or stressed out.
Post # 6
I’m just looking at our wedding as a party and a celebration. I’m not doing anything to impress people, just want to make sure people have a good time celebrating a very special day with us. We just want good food, good wine, good music, and great company. That’s all that matters.
It also helps that our budget is small (we want to come under $6000 for 60-70 guests), and our realization that it is only ONE day is also keeping us on budget.
Post # 7
@blueskye: I hear you on the food, wine and music.
We we under pressure to go crazy with the food and open bar because so many guests are coming from other states and countries, and we felt the need to make their trip “worth it.” Especially for my extended family, which is used to huge banquets. Everything could go wrong–except for the food– and I’d be okay. (I think!)
@parasol: It must be wonderful to be married. Enjoying the simple things is what life’s all about 🙂
Post # 8
I’ve been trying to keep in mind that everything may not go like we plan, but if we get married, then the day will be a success. We will be surrounded by the people we love and who are there to celebrate the start of our life together, and that is something sweet to think about.
Post # 9
I’ve had so many other stresses (classes, tenure, etc.) that wedding stuff has never had a chance to become too big a piece of the stress pie. With the semester over, that may change, but so far, every time I start to feel like wedding turns into WEDDING, I go work on something else. There’s always something else I need to work on!
Post # 10
We’re having a pretty short engagement and are planning our wedding 13 hours away from where we’re living right now (closer to all of our family) so from the beginning I had to let my type A planner go hide away. It’s actually been liberating, seeing a lot of our friends getting engaged and married and how stressed they’ve been, I’ve told myself the whole time “I have a dress and he has his uniform, we have our rings (almost), and we have a beautiful church to get married in. Everything else is just the icing on the cake”
Post # 11
I keep telling myself that no one remembers or really cares about all the details. No one is going to remember what our invites looked like, or flowers, or Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, or card box. All they are going to remember is the food, drink, and dancing – oh and maybe that I looked absolutely fabulous. So while I want everything to look nice, I’m not upset when something doesn’t work out perfectly.
Post # 12
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
@RunsWithBears: Really good point! Last wedding I went to was in October- I know the invites were blue, and I sort of remember the centerpieces since I was gifted one, but I can’t remember what the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses looked like, or the card box. No idea if there were candles on the table, or what our name cards looked like. Can’t remember what I ate (although I do remember the salsa station at cocktail- love chip & dip) So a lot of those details brides stress over…gone from my memory!
I do remember the band was a lot of fun and I had great conversations with my table and with the bride and groom’s mothers.
Post # 13
Read the emotional drama threads on the bee. Many times, the people who author those threads have lost perspective long ago. Buzz on in, take a quick peek, be thankful your problems pale in comparison, and buzz out. It’s one day, you and your honey are committing a lifetime together, and you’ll be off to the honeymoon in no time! Try not to let other people or circumstances derail your ultimate goal.
Post # 14
@RunsWithBears: I try to remember this, as well. What you’re saying is so true.
What happens when there are expectations, though? I mean, expectations from guests (especially relatives) of how a wedding turns out? We can be content with how the wedding goes, but there’s always that relative who doesn’t think anything is good enough. Bah.
@StuporDuck: This also works. I lurk on threads all the time for this very reason. I too try to focus on the honeymoon! (It couldn’t come fast enough!)
Post # 15
@microscope: When your wedding comes up, you’ll understand that you won’t even give a damn about the crumudgeon who can’t be pleased. You’ll be too wrapped up in loving your honey to notice anyone or anything else. It’ll be a big whimsical blur of happiness; I promise!
Post # 16
I usually just think about how much I love him, and how I can’t wait to be his wife. I try not to focus on all of the little details, and think about being with my future husband, and having our close friends and family there with us! We are going to be taking a late honeymoon too, so I think about how I’ll be able to look forward to that once everything is said & done. 🙂