Post # 1
So last night I went on date with a girl I met on match.com. She lives an hour away from where I do so, so I drove to go pick her up and we went out to a fish fry. Dinner I thought went really, we talked about each other and our families and what we like to do. We had previously been texting each other for a week up until the date. So then after dinner we decided to go rent a movie and watch it back at her place. Durning the movie we sat right next to each other on the couch, but there was very like contact and no hand holding. After the movie we talked about how the night went and I asked her if she would be interested in another date and she said she was. So after I left she give me a hug and I told she can text me today if she wants. She is going to be gone the rest of the weekend to go visit family so I decided it wouldn’t be a good idea to pester her.
So now here I sit contemplating in my mind how it actually went for her. I’m the the type of person who overthinks things and thinks negatively. So in my mind I feel like she didn’t have a good time and doesn’t want another date and she won’t text me. From what I wrote does anyone else think otherwise??
Post # 2
Give her a little while to do her own thing. All girls are different and we process things in differant ways.
You need to have a little more confidence, though! Trust me when I say that girls are attracted to confidence.
You got a hug, and she said she’d be interested in going out again, so I’d say that your chances are pretty good that she’ll text you. If she doesn’t text you within a day or so, I’d give her a quick text and ask her how things are going, and then lead up to when you can get together again.
Post # 3
Hmm. Just from my own personal experience, I feel like even on the first date, if I’m into a guy, I want to at LEAST hold hands with him or cuddle up next to him. It’s like that indescribable chemistry where you really want to be by that person. If she was no contact through the whole movie, I feel like she’s not super into it.
Post # 4
chicagoworkinggirl: I actually disagree with this… My DH and I had unbelievable chemistry. We just didn’t want to rush anything. We did not even touch (aside from hello/goodbye hugs) until the end of our second date, which happened to be a kiss. We then began cuddling by date three, and so on.
There are many women who wouldn’t jump on the “let’s get physical” bandwagon right away, despite how intense the chemistry may be.
Post # 5
Soon2bmarried123: I agree. I never even held hands by date 3 for most of the guys I dated, it didn’t mean I wans’t into them or didn’t like them, I just hadn’t gotten to the point where I wanted to be touchy-feely yet.
Post # 6
Packers12: I over think everything too. If she was willing to watch a movie and said that she would like to see you again, I’d assume it probably went well. Don’t rush it though- it took 3 dates before my SO and I even touched eachother (ha!) and there was so much anticipation working up to it, it made it so much more exciting! Maybe sent her a text this afternoon saying “I had a great time last night, I hope you have a good weekend, text me later if you’d like”. This way she knows your intersted, but you’re giving her her space.
Post # 7
I am in the “I am not going to cuddle up with you or make out with you on the first date” camp. A little pushy when you barely know someone. Ditto with the hand holding. Open doors for me and give me a good night hug or a peck on the cheek and that’s cool. If a guy cuddled up next to me on the first date, I would totally be put off.
OP, it sounds like the two of you had a nice evening. A successful date doesn’t always have to mean cuddling and kissing. If it turns out that she doesn’t text you, it only means there’s someone better out there for you and you have yet to find her.
Post # 8
Sounds like your date went well! Be patient, don’t assume the worst because you haven’t heard from her yet
Post # 9
It sounds like it went well to me. I never brought a guy back to my place after a first date, even to just watch a movie. I definitely wouldn’t have cuddled or held hands. I am shy, and definitely would have been turned off if the guy tried to hold my hand or cuddle on the first date. Every girl is different. Some want to take it slow. She will probably text you, but that said, you should also text or call her in a few days and tell her you had a great time, and were wondering when she was free to go out again. Even if you don’t feel confident, fake it till you make it. Odds are she’s having very similar thoughts.
Post # 10
So do you think I should just give her a day or to see if she texts me? If she doesn’t then I know she isn’t interested right?
Post # 11
Sounds like the date went well, but telling a woman to call or text you if they’re interested in you is hardly ever a good strategy: 1- There are all sorts of reasons a person is interested but doesn’t call, so not receiving a call doesn’t actually answer any questions for you 2- I never ever called a number a got from a man who said to call if interested, simply because I didn’t want to commit myself to looking interested by something as innocuous as a phone call, and 3- most women would prefer a person who is motivated enough to actually call or text himself, rather than just offer themselves as available to receive a call or text. My advice, it was your first date, so chill out. Cotinue to connect with other women on match – this will keep you from being so focused on this one girl to the point of overthinking your reactions the day after the first date. Second, give her space since she said she was going to be busy the rest of the weekend. Text her again on Monday and be like, “hey, just wanted to say again how good it was to meet you in person the other day. Hope you have a good week coming up – got anything special going on?” See if you can get her started on a text convo. If all goes well, invite her out again for the upcoming weekend. She’ll know you’re interested if you invite her out by Wed, and if she accepts you’ll know she’s interested too. If she hedges or tries to put you off til next week, you’ll know you still have some work to do in getting her interested. If she refuses outright or lets your attempt at starting a text convo fall totally flat by not replying til Wed or Thurs, then… she’s not interested.
Post # 12
I think your best bet is to chase her. Anytime a guy has told me to call/text him…I am veryyy hesistant to do so. Girls like to know that YOU had a good time as well and that you want that second date, even if you have showed your interest already. My most recent ex asked me on a date several times before I finally agreed to go…I was hesistant…then when I went I had an amazing time. We only hugged hello and goodbye..but he was so excited following the date that he texted me on his drive home AND offered to bring me dinner to work that night (I worked night shift). He couldn’t wait to see and talk to me again….girls like that, trust me 🙂
Post # 13
Packers12: So what happened? Like PPs have said, a lot of women like to feel “chased” in the beginning of a relationship. I met my FI online, and on our first date, I don’t think we touched at all. After he walked me to my car, he asked me if I wanted to do this again some time, and I said “definitely.” I didn’t know if I really liked him, but I knew I wanted a second date. And honestly, I would have been a little weirded out if he asked ME to text HIM to follow up, but then again, I had sent him the first message. Anyways, over the next week we texted a bit and set up another date, and when I first saw him at the beginning of the second date was when I knew I liked him. And when he smoothly tried to kiss me halfway through, I turned away. But I kissed him at the end of the night, and we’re getting married now so clearly it worked out. But it’s really hard to gauge things from a first date, you never know, so you just have to keep an open mind, show that you’re still interested for a bit, and move on if you need to.
Post # 14
Packers12: Hope you texted her! Even if a guy says to text him after a first date, I would most likely wait for him to text me. For a few days at least.
Post # 15
If she wants a second date then the first date went well. Easiest way to tell how it went!