(Closed) How do you know it's time to move on?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@cupcakeface:  If I were in your shoes, I would fight like hell to get back to some sort of relationship builiding with my Darling Husband.  Have you guys talked recently about the issues in your marriage and/or what your expectations are regarding his work?

Post # 4
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

When you realize you can’t sustain a marriage by yourself.

That was the point that I realized I was going to get divorced.

Post # 5
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I would fight for the marriage.  Go to counseling have a third party listen to you both and learn to communicate.  Is this a new job or a new development or was he like this before you got married?  I think you really need to talk to someone, both of you, make sure you’ve done all you can do.  

Post # 8
8464 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@HisIrishPrincess:  +1

I think it depends on your happiness in the end OP.  I personally would exhaust all possible avenues (I would even try getting a job with him), but I resisted getting married for a long time because I always said I would only get married once.  My friend (and MOH) told me when she got married, that he was a pretty good first husband, so obviously she had no problem with divorce.  When he started treating her poorly, she served him papers, and she’s been happy about it ever since.

Post # 9
1251 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

I think, personally, if you have to ask if it’s time to move on, it’s time to move on.

Sorry I can’t sugar coat it.

Post # 11
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@cupcakeface:  While this sounds bad, it doesn’t seem appropriate to throw in the towel just yet.  You talked about it?  Great.  Not.  What good has it done you?  Sometimes you need an outside, neutral third party to reign you both in and to help you both better communicate your heartburns, your expectations, etc.

He has a priority in work.  While I believe a wife and children should be #1, his work is also a source of your livlihood (collectively – both of you).  You walk a fine line there… I don’t know enough details of course, but based on your lone example, I’d say that’s not grounds for divorce.

Did he have this same job before you got married?  What’s changed from before you said “I do”? 

Post # 14
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Some people need to work 40+ hours in a week to keep their jobs. If he is not happy with his job maybe you could help him look for a new one. Did you say “x I am unhappy that you do x. I am not happy and I am thinking about leaving you. Let’s come to some agreement on how to go forward.”

Post # 16
6745 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Hrm – Working 40 hours a week is normal.  Sleeping at work is more than that. 

What is his schedule like exactly?  What does he do with his free time when he’s not at work? 

The topic ‘How do you know it's time to move on?’ is closed to new replies.

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