How do you know when a couple is serious

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

You ask them. You don’t get to decide if they are serious based on a set criteria. They will tell you if they want you to know. 

Post # 3
Member
42546 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ap2010:  I think a couple is serious when they decide they are.

Post # 4
Member
811 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Ap2010:  hmmm… I can’t think of a single family photo that I am in. a part of me doubts I will ever be invited into family photos as his family gets “weird” about such things. Oh well. 

Post # 5
Member
525 posts
Busy bee

When they are engaged. lol. Seriously, though, as a bride planning a wedding, that is a great cut off. Sadly, that gets thrown off when family members add guests without the request.

Post # 6
Member
3097 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

I agree with PP, I don’t think there’s a criteria that I’d go by, I don’t think you have to be dating for a long time to be serious about each other, or the spending time with each other’s families or whatnot- some people’s families may not friendlyor accepting… If both people in the relationship are serious about each other, then they are serious.

 

Post # 7
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

How do you decide when your relationship is serious? That’s up to you.

How do you decide when someone else’s relationship is serious? You don’t.

You can’t quantify relationships with a checklist.

Post # 8
Member
643 posts
Busy bee

cmbr:  Exactly this. I don’t think it’s fair to measure someone else’s relationship to your standards. Each couple is different and decides on their own when they are serious about each other. 

Post # 9
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

From a past relationship I can say length of relationship (six years) did not equal serious relationship. Now I’m married to my husband after we’d been dating less than a year…so obviously serious. Idk how one outside of the relationship could gauge the seriousness of someone else’s relationship.

Post # 10
Member
1112 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I definitely don’t think your list makes up a serious couple. DH and I decided to get married after dating for 6 weeks, which certainly isn’t a long time. I think the only way to know is to ask them.

Post # 11
Member
523 posts
Busy bee

cmbr:  +1

It always blows me away when people decide they get the right to decide how “serious” someone else’s relationship is. I understand having parameters like limiting it to “engaged” couples as a cutoff for wedding invites, however I’ve met couples who’ve been together years who aren’t as in sync as some couples who have been together a few months.

Post # 12
Member
7410 posts
Busy Beekeeper

FEDORAble:  this exactly. It blows my mind when people say their cut off is engaged. So your friends who aren’t engaged but have lived together for 5 years aren’t invited? 

Post # 14
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

MrsDogMama: So as a current bride to be, are you saying that you and your FI weren’t serious the day before your engagement? 

I agree with the majority. A couple is serious when they’re serious about each other. It has nothing to do with anyone outside of the couple (including the family of either half of the couple) so it’s really not up for anyone else’s discussion/decision whether or not they’re serious. 

Post # 15
Member
2720 posts
Sugar bee

Oh goodness, I wasn’t in family photos until 3.5 years in, one month before we got engaged! 

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