- 3 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
So I’ve been struggling with this question for a while. I had a group of friends in college that I was really close to during those years. During our senior year I started growing apart from them for a few reasons. I had decided to make some purely personal changes in my life which meant I was no longer participating in some of the stuff I used to (drinking and clubbing) and I was becoming more active in my faith. I started making these changes for myself while I was single, but it was gradual. Well around the time when these changes were becoming more obvious to them, I also happened to start a new relationship with my now DH. So of course all these personal changes were blamed on him even though these were decisions I made before he was even in the picture. It kinda hurt me that they had seen me deal with other relationships in the past and they knew I was never one to change myself for a guy, so why would it be any different now? They made some comments about it which hurt my feelings and I started pulling away from them a little bit.
Well I got engaged several months after graduation and things got even more strained between us. One of the girls (let’s call her X) I was closest to in the group basically started acting extremely shady…I was informed that she was complaining to everyone about how I was making a big mistake, she made faces anytime someone brought up anything about the wedding, and she started leaving me out of plans with the group. I was still trying to make it work. For X’s birthday I spent all this money to spend it at the hotel she planned it at, and paying for her gas, dinner, and gift. When my birthday came a couple months later I got a text from one of the other girls saying ‘Happy birthday, from me and X!” She couldn’t even wish me a happy birthday herself! I was so hurt by that.
Needless to say my relationship with the other girls hadn’t been that great for a while either so I made the decision not to invite any of them to my wedding. Nobody really asked about the wedding plans, and nobody really made an effort to keep in touch during that time period. Plus it was a small family wedding with a limited amount of space, so even if I wanted them there it wouldn’t have worked. Well X sent me a witchy text after she found out I had gotten married, so I blocked her on FB. Then when she found out she was blocked she called me and we had what I thought was a heart to heart. It seemed like we had cleared a lot of stuff up and like we could be cool again. Well when I tried to reach back out to her after that “heart to heart” she never responded…so that was the end of that. I deleted her number and haven’t heard from her since that last convo.
My feelings are still hurt sometimes when I think about how my friendship with X got all messed up, but now I’m trying to figure out if I should also cut the other girls off. They didn’t do anything quite as shady as X, but I quit making any effort to reach out to them because it was always me doing the calling/texting. We really don’t keep in touch other than occasional random things on facebook. And when I see their posts and pictures with X, or see their comments on mutual friends’ engagement/wedding pics it makes me upset that none of them acted that happy when that was happening in my life. DH says he is tired of hearing me go back and forth over this, lol. So what do you guys think…should I just cut them off altogether, i.e. delete phone numbers and delete or block from fb?