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How do you ladies feel...

posted 1 year ago in Waiting
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    1.
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    Blushing bee
    playingdaisy    September 8, 2012   Forest Hills, NY, wedding in South Jersey

    about a smaller, more afforable (free, family) engagement ring for the moment, with the promise of an upgrade in the future? I'm all for it, since it means I get to be engaged sooner than later. Was wondering how everyone else felt about this.

     
    2.
    289 posts
    Helper bee
    izziebear       Northern California

    In regards to my own situation, we're happily going with a pretty affordable option, and keeping my 'dream' criteria (carat, cut, setting, etc) intact by choosing to go with moissanite. I wasn't particularly over-the-moon about diamonds to begin with, so I don't feel like I'm compromising, nor do I expect an "upgrade" in the future. I'm pretty picky about what I wear (and do, and read, and eat, and...okay, I'm a picky chick), and really appreciate that I have the option to request ring characteristics without expecting my SO to go into a financial hole over the purchase.

    However, if I happened to be a diamond gal, and it came between waiting for an expensive dream ring and settling for a more afforable option for the time being, I would go with the latter, for sure. Getting married is 110% more important to me than having a flashy peice of jewelry. Of course, we all want a gorgeous ring when we get engaged. However, I feel like once I was settled into marriage and working on a family, the weight on my ring finger wouldn't really bother me enough to dwell on an upgrade.

     
    3.
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    Bumble bee
    gocubbies       Illinois

    YES. I would take a family ring over something new ANY day. It means a lot more. I wouldn't even upgrade in the future either to be honest!

    If you want to upgrade though, maybe you could somehow include the original family stone?

     
    4.
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    Blushing bee
    playingdaisy    September 8, 2012   Forest Hills, NY, wedding in South Jersey

    I probably wouldn't want to change the ring in any way. The stone is small (this ring was bought during the Depression), with the original owner (his greatgrandma) eventually getting an upgrade. I know the upgrade happens with some women, just wanted to see how frequently it does happen and feelings behind it.

     
    5.
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    Busy bee
    LaurenK0105    October 15, 2006  

    You all are gonna think I'm crazy, but I don't like jewelry other people have worn.  It creeeeeps me out so badly.

    However, if it didn't, I would totally do that!  What's better than free when you're starting out?  Plus people will ooh and ahh about how cute it is that you have a family heirloom from HIS side.  I personally think that's so sweet and more adorable than if it were from your side of the fam.

     
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    Buzzing bee
    HisIrishPrincess    March 23, 2012  

    Thats sort of what we're doing.  We're using my Nan's ring (grandmother) that thru an odd set of circumstances i inherited.  The upgrade wasn't promised .. .but i have pointed out the anniversary bands!

     
    7.
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    Sugar bee
    soyjoy222    June 1, 2012   PA

    My SO said he wants to get me something new and make sure it is perfect because he said he doesn't want to be upgrading at a 5 or 10 anniversary. HOWEVER...I said I would be fine with something smaller or even a family ring (but neither of us have one) because it's about us committing to each other and not so much a ring (he is really particular about things he gets me which is kind of funny). As beautiful as new rings are, family ones always have stories that make them special. If it was his greatgrandma's, you may never WANT to upgrade because of the history that comes with it. :)

     
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    Busy bee
    Taylor4    September 15, 2012  

    @playingdaisy:

    I would take pretty much any ring! And I would prefer to never upgrade for sentimental reasons. Who knows how I'd feel in the future but that's how I feel now. :)

     
    9.
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    Buzzing bee
    armychica06    December 8, 2012   CT

    I would take anything and upgrade later- it really isn't about the ring for me.... I just want the official proposal and engagement.

    I am getting a decent ring under 5K and then we are upgrading later on when my SO gets his settlement. My dream ring is a 1- 2 ct ring from Tiffany's but we don't have 10K+ to blow right now.

     
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    Buzzing bee
    sugarpea    June 14, 2014   Ontario, Canada

    I would definitely take it (: I think it would be really sweet (and an honour) to get to wear a family ring. I don't know if I would upgrade it though. I'm super sentimental and I think I would want to keep the same engagement ring throughout my life and maybe have a special anniversary right hand ring later when we could afford it (:

     
    11.
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    Busy bee
    Taylor4    September 15, 2012  

    @sugarpea:

    ooh I like the idea of an upgraded right hand ring!

     
    12.
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    Helper bee
    prshadow       NC

    absolutely!!  I want to marry my boyfriend, not a ring.  I don't care if it's a moissanite, CZ, sapphire, a spec of dust, or the real thing.  I'm not entering into a relationship with a piece of jewelry. 

    Do it!!  You'll be engaged ASAP and that's the most important thing. 

     
    13.
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    Blushing bee
    playingdaisy    September 8, 2012   Forest Hills, NY, wedding in South Jersey

    Ooo, I like the idea of a right hand ring. :)

    He's going to the parents to get it next week, let the anticipation begin!

     
    14.
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    105 posts
    Blushing bee
    leighannd    April 30, 2011   brooklyn, ny

    I think thats a great idea, why not?

    While i wasnt "promised" another ring, I got a family (free) ring, and then we both decided to use the stones from it to make a new ring a few months later, and we are so happy about it!! So why not! Do whatever makes you happy!

     
    15.
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    Blushing bee
    mxpinky       TX

    Maybe I'll change my mind about it later but no, I wouldn't. I think its weird to use someone else's ring, however happily married they were. I'd feel like I'm marrying the person who bought the ring and that's.. weird lol. If my SO couldn't afford my dream ring, I'd rather have something cheap. 

     
    16.
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    443 posts
    Helper bee
    SportsGal    August 11, 2012   Vancouver, BC

    Actually I did get a "free" ring at the very beginning of our relationship.  This was when we were only a year and a half into our relationship.  Quite very early. 

    We were shopping at a grocery store and my boyfriend got a twist tie from the produce section and made it into a ring and gave it to me on my right hand.  I was happy and wore it!  After a week the twist tie plastic came off and the metal was exposed and digging into my finger.  LOL.  So he felt bad and shortly after he gave me a real "I love you" ring to replace the twist tie.

    So now for the engagement ring (hopefully soon....)  if he does something like that again I wouldn't mind..  I take anything from him ;)  If it was a family ring too that's acceptable.

     
    17.
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    Busy bee
    mermaideve      

    I feel weird about rings. His grandmother had a ring, and he gave it to his first wife. She gave it back to his family, so now it will go to another male relative for his wife. I wish I had gotten to see it. Do I want to wear the ring his ex wore for 4 years? No. But I would have like to have been asked if I wanted it.

    Also, I gave him a promise ring in November. He loves it and wears it all the time. BUT I still have no ring of any kind. We are starting with a new therapist on Tuesday, wish us luck!

     
    18.
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    Wannabee
    igage    August 23, 2011   japan

    i would take it. it has so much more meaning to it.Laughing

     
    19.
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    Sugar bee
    dodgercpkl    October 15, 2010   California

    We got engaged without a ring.  I did have a few rings with me where he proposed, so I had him choose one of those as a placeholder just so I could have something to show that I was engaged.  lol  A month or so later, we purchased my engagement ring online.  

     

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