Post # 1
My FI went to New Zealand for his brother’s wedding on Dec 27th and he isn’t coming home until this Sunday (Jan 10th).
It is so hard. I am so lonely. We have lived together for 4 years and I find it so odd not having him around. I can’t sleep well at night without him, I have to eat dinner alone every night and our 3 bedroom townhouse seems soooo BIG!
I have lots of friends in the city but not REALLY close friends and so I spend time with them but it really isn’t the same as having my best friend in the world to talk to everyday. I have seen a couple of my really close GFs that live out of town but not for long enough to put a dent in my loneliness.
The first couple days were REALLY hard and then it got a bit easier when I was busy with getting back to school etc. but now that we are getting closer to the date he gets back I am really struggling again.
He is really good about calling me everyday but only for about 5-10 minutes and really I am just left wanting more! He just called me about 10 minutes ago but we talked for 1 min and lost the connection
I just miss him sooooo much – how do you deal with the loneliness?
Post # 3
You get into a routine. You stay busy. Eventually, life just becomes what it is. I was really bad for the first month or so he was gone, then I adjusted and it’s better.I’m not saying that the loneliness and missing him ever goes away, because it doesn’t, but it gets to a point where it’s manageable and doesn’t interfere with life.
Now, I only get bad right before and right after I see him, which is about every 3-4 months.
Post # 4
It’s harder when you haven’t done them very often!
Honestly, one day at a time. Find things to enjoy and try to relish the “quiet time”. Just try not to focus on it and dwell on how sad it is and how bummed you are. Schedule things you want to do or make it a point to, say, take an extra long bath or go shopping and waste extra time at the mall.
But seriously, one day at a time.
Post # 5
Will agree that you just get into a routine. I love my FI dearly but I also have other interests/friends that keep me busy. Of course I miss him and wish he was here all the time, but b/c of the nature of his career…even when we are living together he will keep crazy hours. I consider this practice for our marriage =)
Post # 6
It is always hard when I have to leave we only get two weeks together every four months and that time is split between him, my family and his family so on this last trip home we spent 2 days by ourselves in our house.
Go to the gym – work out, join a class etc. come home so tired that all you want to do is fall in bed after a shower.
Get a good book – go to a coffee shop and read!
Call your girls for a night out!
The point is to stay busy – distract yourself! When I am gone he has both dogs to take care and the house and work and school and friends and his family so he stays busy too!
As far as eating dinner alone – don’t! I actually tend to eat out with friends way more often when I am gone because cooking for 1 sucks.
The 10th will be here soon and you can make it!
Post # 7
Awe thanks guys!
I take my hat off to you guys I sure do!
I am so glad that I don’t have to do this for long periods of time!
It’s funny because we were actually long distance for the first year of our relationship but I don’t feel like I could do it now!
Post # 8
It IS hard! But it’s also really nice to have time to focus on stuff you wouldn’t otherwise do, if your SO was around. I have so much more time for myself when I’m not with J, and in a selfish way, part of me really enjoys that (although it’s definitely just a silver lining – I’d still rather be with him). Plus I get way more time with my friends!
Post # 9
I’m with daydreamwanderer on that one. Now that DH is home, I hate to say it, but I kinda miss my “me” time. For instance, instead of getting up at 7 or so this morning, we stayed around in bed til 9am. I’ve lost half the day! I didn’;t work out, we’re just lazy….i like lazy, but I feel so, like, empowered by doing things *I* want to do when I want to do them. Relish the time. Tell yourself how awesome it is, focus on the good.
Post # 10
Man – I keep busy, that’s about it. Sometimes I’ll have this moment where I think “man. I really miss Cam.” But I’ll be honest – as long as I’m busy and doing stuff I think about him but that void doesn’t enter my life. I’ll be honest – every few months we get like 3 or 4 days in a row that we get to spend together and like daydreamwanderer and ejs I begin to miss my “me” time! It’s awful to say that for me – but I really get in my routine and when he’s around it messes me up!
I think over time you just get used to it, to be honest. I’m ready to live with him and have him every day but for right now this works!
Post # 11
I agree about the “me time”, FI was just home for 2 weeks and I definitely missed the time to myself, to hang out with my friends, to do things that I enjoy and he doesn’t.
Post # 12
you figure things out to keep yourself busy. i worked and go to school, stay active in my church and hang out with friends. i also take time to take care of myself and pursue interests that i love. there are still moments where that pang of lonliness hits but it’s tempered because i’m busy and living my life.