(Closed) How do you let go of all your expectations?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

That’s rough, I’m sorry. 🙁

Disowning them won’t help, because then you’ll be the one who caused the rift (even though thats not completely true). The most you can do is tell them how important it is to you, and hope they come through. If not, you have FI and his family, who clearly want to be there for you all.

Can you talk to your sisters directly instead of just your mom about coming to visit?

Post # 4
Member
5969 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

I’m really sorry…sometimes DNA is an inconvenient factor when it comes to “families”, my in laws are equally infuriating, and the the only way I’ve survived is be literally expecting NOTHING from them….then if they do actually come through…I’m pleasantly surprised.  I would refuse to prioritize for someone that didn’t treat me like a priority, invest in the people that pay out and forget the rest.

Post # 5
Member
2894 posts
Sugar bee

That’s a load of bullsh!t, seriously. I have…had people (friends) in my life like that, and I know it’s not the same because this is your mother, behaved that way and I dumped their asses for showing me they don’t give a shit about meeting me halfway when it comes to maintaining a relationship. A year’s notice isn’t enough? FU it’s not enough time. If you asked any sooner it would be too soon to make any plans and if you ask later they just don’t know if they’ll be free. And that isn’t even a legitimate excuse. If you had something you’d KNOW you aren’t free on that date and if you don’t know it means you ARE in fact free, you just don’t want to make plans for the person asking. Which, given that you are her daughter, is a load of sh!t. I’m surprised you didn’t come down on her harder. You’re a better person than I am. I have ZERO tolerance for BS games and will not entertain them. If I smell that is what you are serving me then I’ll throw it back in your face to deal with.

I can’t imagine how frustrating this is for you! She’s your mother. She SHOULD be making an effort and you SHOULDN’T have to wish she’d just want to be there for you.

Post # 7
Hostess
2556 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I have no advice, but I’m sorry your mother is being a butthead! 🙁

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