Post # 1
FH and I have lots of friends, they just don’t live where we live. My workplace is ridiculously small and I’m the youngest here by at least 15 years. FH’s co-workers are also older, there are a few that he’ll have a drink with after work but no one either of us really want to ‘hang out with’. We both know that it’s an issue that we don’t really have friends here – I have more than he does – but neither of us has a clue how to go about making new friends. We don’t have kids (yet) so those avenues aren’t open either.
Post # 3
I don’t really have any advice. I’m in the same boat. DH and I live in a different city from where either of us grew up. We’re only a little over an hour from where I grew up which isn’t awful, but I can’t just like go get lunch with my friends. If we hang out, it’s usually at least half the day to warrant driving so far. My husband moved to our current city about 6 months before we met. He didn’t really make any new friends right off the bat either, so he just kept going back to the city he lived before every weekend to hang out with those friends. So, he never really invested in people in this city. Somehow, neither of us made friends here really. DH works with people older than us. We go out and get drinks with them, but the age gap is really a little too much to be best friends with. DH is 29 and the co worker we hang out with the most and his wife are 38. That’s not an awful age gap, but I’m only 23, 24 in a few weeks. So, the age gap between me and his co worker is much bigger. I’m really hoping when I have kids it will help. I’m totally fine with being friends people DH’s age. But it seems like everyone I meet that’s his age has kids, and we’re just in totally different places.
The place I’ve had the best luck is the dog park. I haven’t found anyone to be really good friends with yet, but I have exchanged numbers with a few people. Those relationships haven’t panned out so far though.
Post # 4
I have no advice, because I’m in the exact same boat. I moved to be with my husband, so I don’t have any friends here and his friends are all single guys. They’re nice, but I definitely can’t call one of them up and say ‘let’s get a coffee or go shopping!’
So far for me, taking classes at the gym and dog walking seem to be the best bets to get out there and meet people, but so far I haven’t met anyone. People are friendly, but I have no idea how to like…move that initial friendliness towards friendship. I’m still looking for a job, so hopefully once I’ll get one I will make some work friends.
So basically….shrug. Let me know if you ever figure it out!
Post # 5
Check out meetup.com website. That is how I met all kinds of people.
Post # 6
@MsGinkgo: Same boat here as well. Well, not exactly…we still live in the city where we both grew up. That being said, none of FH’s friends are still here. I have a couple of friends here, but since they both have kids, we don’t hang out as much as we used to. I’m close with some friends from work, but not close enough to really do stuff outside of work. And FH occasionally goes to play football on Fridays after work with a group of guys. But we don’t have any couple friends which I feel like we really need! So I don’t really have any advice, but I’m commenting to follow!
Post # 7
@KS240030: +1. Meetup.com is great!
Post # 8
@MsGinkgo: I’m with you girl.
FI and I moved to a new town a few months ago. All of our friends live back home (4 hours away). FI has made a couple new friends through school and work.
Most of my coworkers are also older than me, so definitely nothing there.
The friends that FI has made have girlfriends, so I’m hoping to meet them soon and maybe start a friendship or two.
Other than that, I’ve got nothing.
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza
I would check and see if Meetup.com holds any events in your area. DH and I recently moved from NY to NC and we don’t know anyone here. The meetup groups have been awesome and we’ve already met a few people that way.
I’ve actually also struck up friendships through Weddingbee meetups! (Although this was back in NY, I haven’t tried to arrange a meetup in NC yet.)
We also met a few people our age who live in our apartment complex. Even something small, like saying “hi” to someone when checking the mail can start a friendship! It takes time and I know it can be awkward, but I’ve come to find that most people are either in the same boat (don’t have a lot of friends) or are happy to expand their circle to include you!
Post # 10
@MsGinkgo: Can you join leagues like softball, kickball, etc? That’s a great way to make friends!!
Post # 12
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Check into local groups that do a particular hobby? Join a Crossfit gym, a knitting club, library book club, amateur bike or running races, etc?
When we moved to our current town, I started going to a biweekly mountain bike race series even though I really hadn’t biked much (they had a beginner catergory). I made a bunch of friends AND got better at a fun hobby.
Post # 13
@Tomato22: No dogs either :/
@starlitgirl: This is my problem too, I can be friendly with people, I’m a social person (FH takes a long time to warm up to people) and there are people in our apartment building that I’ll chat with etc but I don’t know how to initiate a friendship – I feel like it would be awkward.
@lolot: This would work for me, I’ve met people that way in the past, FH isn’t really into the whole club thing, I’ve tried to get him to sign up for Rec League hockey but the times are so ridiculous it really wouldn’t work.
Part of the issue is that FH tends to take a while to warm up to people, once you know him, he his hilarious and awesome to be around, until he knows you he tends to be kind of reserved. The few friends that I have in the area are married, but FH doesn’t really make much of an effort to get to know the husbands so joint outings are usually a little awkward (so we avoid them).
Post # 14
@MsGinkgo: Omg I’m in the same boat! I’m at least 2 hours away from all of my college friends now and I’ll be moving to a different state with SO soon.
I work in a male dominated field and everyone is quite a bit older than me by like a generation. Many of them have kids my age lol
I don’t like trying to meet people at the gym…when I’m there I like it to be “me time” and to focus and I feel like that’s how everyone else is too. Also I can never just walk up to someone and start talking without them thinking I’m hitting on them.
But I would LOVE to just have some local girlfriends to hang out with or do a wine night or something :-/
If you live near where I’ll be moving I’ll be your friend haha
Post # 15
I just joined meetup.com. I wasen’t sure it would work for me because I live in Mexico. But, there were people on there. You write an email to who you want then they write you back if they wish. Usually at least in my area theres group meetings at different places and you can go or not. I will see how it goes. Supposed to meet 2 people for coffee.
Post # 16
I joined a ski club when I returned to the city from university. Some of my best friends (and my SO) are as a result of that club! I also play in a sport and social league here. I play dodgeball, volleyball, softball, innertube waterpolo, and I curl (not all in one season, I pick and choose, usually 2 sports per seaosn.) It has been a great way to meet people. Some I’ve remained friends with, others I stopped seeing once the season – or seasons were done. Unfortunately, the 6 people I’d become very close with over the years all moved, minimum 2 hours away, 2 to England. It happens.