(Closed) How do you move on?

posted 5 years ago in Pets
Post # 3
540 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

First of all, I am sorry about your pup.  You made the right decision.  I had to make the same one, and I still feel guilty and question myself even though I knew it was best.  I had to put my sweet little rat terrier Willie Nelson to sleep over a year and a half ago, and I’m still not over it.  I love dogs, but I just don’t think I can get another one for a while.  We ended up adopting a kitten, and it was hard for me at first (also because cats are so different than dogs).  But, I felt that caring for her filled that void a little.  It isn’t the same, of course, and I have grown to love her and her personality as the months have passed.  I don’t think your heart will always be so broken.  I think time somewhat heals wounds.  I just think that when and if you get another pet, it will be a different kind of love.  Willie is the best dog I ever had–no other dog could ever come close.  He will always hold a special place in my heart, but I can also find it in my heart to love another pup again someday, just differently.  Also, remember that the BIL’s cat wasn’t yours.  You might feel differently if you had a pet of your own.  Willie’s picture will never come off my fridge.  We probably won’t get a dog until we have completed our family baby-wise, and I sometimes think it might still be a struggle even though it is years down the road.

Post # 5
19 posts
  • Wedding: November 1999

Bless you, I’ve had a similar experience, it’s not nice and not many people understand. Could you offer help as a dog walker for your nearest animal shelter and see if you get any kind of connection with a dog and go from there? You may never have the same connection with another dog but you could still have a connection, it’ll just be a different one. 

Post # 6
311 posts
Helper bee

You’re not alone but I do promise it gets better. We had to put down my dog a couple years ago that I had had since I was 5 because he couldn’t walk and was refusing to eat even cooked chicken and rice. After a week of force feeding him, my parents realized it was time to let him go. He was my best and sometimes only friend and I regret to this day not getting time off to go and be there with him when we euthanized him. I still cry and feel a twinge of pain when I see photos of him because I miss him dearly. Like losing a loved one, the pain dissipates a little each day but never fully goes away. As for connecting with another animal, you may never connect the same way again. It was a special bond between you and Amber and that can never be replaced. That being said, you can connect in a different way to new animals. I currently have a dog and a cat that I love dearly and would fight to the death for them. I don’t feel the exact same way for Wesley as I did for Charcoal because I didn’t grow up with him, but I do love him. Start by doing some volunteer work at the humane society in your area or with a rescue group. Maybe just being around other animals will help you to open your heart back up. And yes, eventually the heartbreak will happen again but no matter if it’s an animal or a loved person, it’s unavoidable. As long as you have good memories, there’s not much more you can ask for, at least in my opinion.

Post # 7
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Well, cats are NOT dogs. So I think you shouldn’t base your bonding experience on your live-in cat experience. I’m very much a dog person, and i’ve only ever liked one cat. Thank goodness it’s the one my husband had when we met! He’s very dog like – plays fetch with his toys, is very cuddly/affectionate like a dog, etc. Never met another cat like him. I can bond instandly with dogs (well, dogs of most breeds, seriously don’t enjoy little yappy dogs, but love bigger breeds). Have you been around dogs much since you had to but your beloved little guy down?

Post # 11
111 posts
Blushing bee

I can definitely relate you your situation. I had to put my cat down two years ago, he was 13 years old, he passed away in my arms. I loved him so much. We also had a very deep connection and he slept with me every night too. I miss him terribly ๐Ÿ™

I have not personally considered getting a pet for myself yet. My sister has two dogs who I love very much, but I just can’t connect with them like I did my cat. Honestly, I’ve also wondered if I’ll be able to connect with another animal like I have before. Like I said, I still love them a lot, they’re great dogs! But it’s just not the same ๐Ÿ™

I know it’s very cliche to say that time heals everything, but it really does. I also consistently listened to the Mumford & Sons album ‘Sigh No More’ for a few months (and nothing else) after he passed becauase I felt that I could really relate to the songs.

I do agree that you might feel differently about a pet once it is your own ๐Ÿ™‚ I wish you the best of luck <3

Post # 12
311 posts
Helper bee

@MoonlightRose:  I’m actually a vet tech at a private practice but we do a lot of work with several rescue groups in town. I think that has helped a lot because I know I’m helping them find good homes by making sure they’re healthy. Even just with client owned animals helps because I see the love and care the owners have and I remember why it’s ok to move on. Animals provide an unconditional love that heals a lot of wounds, and I think seeing others have that kind of bond made me miss it more than I thought I did.

Also, animals tend to find you instead of you finding them when it’s time to move on. My parents had no intentions of getting another dog any time soon after Char, but some friends of theirs adopted a great dane puppy that ended up playing too rough with their lab with hip dysplasia and they didn’t want to give him back to the humane society, so he came home with my parents. My dad fell in love with him pretty quickly, but they still talked it over for like a week before committing to it. He’s now been with them for a little over a year and very happy. They know better than we do when it’s time to enter our lives.

Post # 14
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

My family got our cat when I was 5 years old, and she lived until 19.5 years.  When she passed I couldn’t remember a time in my life without her.  I wasn’t home when it happened, I was at school.  She had been going down hill and my parents called me because they were concerned. When I saw her on the webcam I knew it would be the last time, the next day I got an email that my parents had put her to sleep.  I cried for days, and even months afterwards if I saw an Abysinnian on TV or in an ad (Pixie was an Abysinnian) I would start crying.  It has been a year and a half and I still get choked up thinking about her.

I did not think I would get a cat for a long time after Pixie was gone.  About two months after I was at a shelter as part of my public health rotation at school.  Despite all the kittens there, I spent most of my time they let us visit the animals with this young adult cat who was handing out at the front of his cage on his back, waiting for belly rubs from passers by.  I didn’t sleep that night because I couldn’t stop thinking about that cat, I went back the next day and adopted him.

When the time is right, the perfect animal will pick you.  Go to shelters and visit with the dogs, sign up to volunteer, you may realize there is one in particular you like the most, or that you spend the most time with, or are excited to see.  Then you will know that the right dog has picked you.

The topic ‘How do you move on?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors