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How do you not invite co-workers in a nice way?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
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    1.
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    Helper bee
    Leche4evr    April 24, 2010   Orange County, CA

    Hey Bee’s,

     I need some advice regarding inviting co workers. Honestly I did not plan to invite any of my co-workers. I just recently got this job in July 2009 and my wedding is this April and I’m cool with a few but I don’t have the extra room to invite coworkers especially ones I haven’t known that long. Plus I already had my guest count and list done and I don’t have the extra room. However they all know I’m getting married. My boss knew that before I started because I wanted to make sure taking time off for my honeymoon wouldn’t be a problem. So basically everyone know. I really don’t go a day without at least someone from work asking me how the planning is going. Me and my supervisor have our one on one meeting and talk nothing but wedding stuff. She’s very interested and gives me feedback since she planned her wedding a few years back. I want to invite them I just don’t have the money to up my guest count and I can’t invite one and not others. Should I mention it to them that it mostly just family. Should I wait till its closer to the wedding? Should I stop talking about my wedding to anyone and just be vague when people ask me questions about it? Any advice from anyone regarding inviting coworkers and just not have the budget to invite them would be helpful!

    Thanks!

     
    2.
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    Buzzing bee
    Charm bracelet    July 24, 2010   Placentia, CA

    I work at a school and there is no way I can invite all of my teacher friends.  When they ask about the wedding, I am vague.  I don't start a conversation about it, either.  Every so often I talk about how it's so hard because we have big families and I am not going to be able to invite a lot people outside of my immediate family. They all agree that it's tough and don't really seem to expect an invite.

     
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    Bumble bee
    mountain.bride    December 12, 2009   Australia

    I don't think your co-workers would expect to be invited especially as you haven't worked there very long, so I wouldn't worry too much about offending them. If you would like them to feel welcome to go and watch your ceremony (if it's possible) you could always say something like "unfortunately we weren't able to invite co-workers but if anyone is interested you can come and watch the ceremony at X..." I think you can talk about your wedding as much as people seem to want to hear it - some people won't care but others are just genuinely interested so I wouldn't worry too much!

     
    4.
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    Bee Keeper
    artbee    February 28, 2010  

    when i was working and got engaged, my coworkers of course were interested as well. i told them that we're having a small wedding. i thought they'd be disapointed because we had just all gone to my boss's wedding and it was the topic of conversation for months. but a lot of people told me how smart i was to have a small wedding, and that was that. (since then i quit so i don't have to worry about it, but at the time i was worrying about inviting everyone, we just didn't have room for everyone and their guests.)

     
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    Sugar bee
    Laylabelle    November 7, 2009  

    If you've already talked about the wedding with them, I think the best thing to do would be to start mentioning how you're bummed that you can't invite everyone that you know to the wedding, but that it's a rather small affair. Don't assume that they want to be invited by telling them they're not invited, but state that you are having a small wedding with close friends and family, and they'll get the hint.

     
    6.
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    Blushing bee
    SugarSweetPink    May 29, 2010  

    Your wedding is so soon, if you haven't talked to your coworkers specifically about having them there, I don't think they'll expect to be invited.  And they probably won't be hurt when they find out for sure they're not on the guest list.  Your boss is probably just excited to share her own experiences and to hear your ideas.  It's kind of like being on here... we just like to hear about each others' wedding ideas- we don't want to GO to them!

    People in my office talk to me allllll the time about my wedding, I'm not inviting any of them.  For a while I felt bad about it, but think about it... these people are your coworkers.  They probably know approx how much money you make, and probably know (from all the wedding chit chat) that your wedding is not huge with an unlimited budget.  They will understand.

    If anyone asks, just tell them the truth- just close friends and family.  Stick to your guns, don't let them guilt you into increasing your guest count! 

     

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