- 2 years ago
My New Year’s resolution in 2014 was not to take crap from people anymore. To be more outspoken when someone is wronging me or someone else, and not to be afraid of being assertive. I had tried to keep true to my promise, specially at work.
I have been at my current company for 4 years now. Not counting my internships, this is my first full time position after college. That being said, when I first started, I was obviously learning the ropes and learning what an office culture is like. I was very hesitant to express my opinions and hated to reprimand people when they did something wrong in something that was my responsibility to manage. The company was also significantly smaller back then. That, combined with my easy going attitude, made it easy to have get along with almost everyone at my company.
Flash forward 4 years later, and I have a lot more responsibilities now over a large group of people and money. Having more responsibilities, combined with my promise to be more assertive, has made me realize that I am not quite as chummy with everyone as I was before. In order to protect the security of the company as well as a significant amount of money from being lost, I have had to be upfront with some people about their mistakes. I am not their direct manager, but manage the area that they messed up in. I have given them friendly warnings, and they kept doing the same mistakes. So then I told them much more seriously that it better not happen again, and they completely blew in my face.
As a result, I have lost a quite a few friendships in the office and it has given me some perspective. It is all quite ironic since it is the self proclaimed feminists in the company that are the most upset with me showing more assertion. Apparently, they wanted me to remain docile.
This is not a rant nor a pity party. I have no regrets about being more assertive because I think everyone should be more secure in their work with the more experience and responsibilities they have, specially if it’s your job to manage it. It is disappointing though to see people fail you as friends and coworkers. I am planning to move out of the area next year and either change companies or pursue another degree, so I am not letting it get to me too much.
Anyway, that’s my long story. I was curious to see if anyone here has gone through a similar situation here and what you did about it. And to see how your company feels about women in management and being assertive. I would love to hear other stories.