- 6 years ago
ETA: omg, i am sorry this is so long, if you want i can try to give an executive summary!
I am in such a dilemma. i was looking for a job for 6 months since I finished my internship and moved to a new city….. I finally got one (I’ll call it Job A) – a two hour drive from where i live. It sounded insane to drive 2 horus to work, but they accommodated me so much that i decided to go with it. The plan was to start late on mondays, stay overnight in a cheap hotel, start early on tuesday and then go back home. So i would work two days a week. And have the other 5 days a week to finish my PhD dissertation. And it pays really well and is giving me the EXACT type of career experience i was seeking. And for the first month or so, I was only going to work one day a week until they built up my client base (i’m a psychologist).
But the 2 hour drive was bugging me, so i applied to another job that popped up right after i accepted the first one. Let’s call this one Job B. Turns out i got that one as well! Job B is a 35 minute drive. Awesome right, I can handle that. The guy who hired me made it sound so enticing. I would start off at 2 days a week and slowly they would get me more and more clients, and then when i finish my PhD, i could work there full time. I mean, who gets a full time job guaranteed from the moment they graduate?! I decided to take it. And i decided i would only do one a day a week at Job A for now, and 2 days at Job B – then still have 4 days for dissertation.
Well, now that i have been at Job A for 2 months, and Job B for one month, I can see what they are both really like……and i LOVE Job A and i HATE Job B!!!! Who would have thought?! I like Job A so much that it is WORTH the 2 hour drive. And they really want me to give them that second day a week.
As of now, I am also feeling overwhelmed because at both jobs i have assessment reports to write which take a lot of time and i can do them from home. Assessment and report writing is my least favorite part of being a psychologist. More so, i am tried of spending hours actually administering tests and scoring them……but guess what – at Job A, they have someone do that for me! So they have psychometrist do all the “testing” and then i write the report, give feedback to the client, and get paid – all the while seeing tons of clients in therapy where i make a ton more money. And i LIKE seeing therapy clients, it’s what i want to do and get more experience in.
Job B, i have no psychometrist. So i am there two full days a week – mostly testing ONE client a week. And so far, i have only ONE therapy client. So basically I am there double the amount of time and not making nearly as much money. And not enjoying myself there.
Add onto this i am pregnant (ya it’s going to be fun telling TWO jobs i just started that i got pregnant unexpectedly!) and so i HAVE to finish my PhD dissertation before i give birth, i just have to. I don’t want this hanging over my head after the baby is here. I said i was feeling overwhelmed because between the two jobs, i have so many reports to write that even in my days off, i am barely touching my dissertation and time is running out (i am almost done my first trimester!).
So now i feel like if i had just stuck with Job A and did the overnight thing, i would feel much less overwhelmed AND make more money AND have 5 days a week for dissertation! So i really regret taking Job B (because i hate what i am doing there, it is taking up more time, and less money)…..
My dilemma is that i am so bad at “quitting”. Saying “no” is one of my biggest problems ever and i always take on too much. I always just suffered before, but everything has changed now that i am pregnant. I don’t want to suffer. I want to be organized and get things done by my due date in November.
What should i say to my employer at Job B??? Should i use my pregnancy as the main excuse? I can’t think of anything else. he is one of those people who will twist everything around and make it sound like i am crazy to leave because of the clients I will get in the future and when that time comes, they will also get me a psychometrist to do the testing hours and that will save me tons of time….problem again is…i am focused on right now (not “the future”) because of the baby!!! I need to make as much money as I can now and i need to finish my dissertation now!
Not mention a host of other issues i have with Job B in regards to the work environment and disorganization of the place in general that always results in lots of time wasted when i am there. Job A is just so perfect for me right now (except that it is 2 hours away….but that is the ONLY con!).
I just feel stuck because i am too damn nervous to just up and quit after a month at Job B. And they have already booked me for assessments for the month of May….i was getting heart palpitations looking at my schedule this morning because all i saw were hours spent doing something i can’t stand (administering and scoring psychological tests) when i could be writing my dissertation.
What would you do and how would you do it??