(Closed) How do you say something nicely but still being VERY direct??

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Oh yeah that is really not the way to do it. You just have to tell her, point blank I think. Even if she doesn’t “get it”, show her some websites showing this is the “right” way and telling her that phrasing the invites that way will make you look greedy and you really don’t want that! Tell her you WANT to be able to open actual gifts and thank the person for the item. But yeah, yikes

Oh yeah and my mom got me my stripper for my bachelorette party. It was weird (and i wasn’t drunk yet which is WHY it was weird), but whatever, haha. My mom’s kinda crazy like that and so is my aunt so I totally get it. =]. My mom even encouraged him to get down to his g-string. Apparently he thought she’d only be ok with the bun-huggers >.<

Post # 4
2397 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I would tell her straight up:  If you do that, I will be mortified.  I appreciate that you’re trying to help me out by throwing me a shower.  I know that you just want the best for me, but that wording will offend my friends. 

Is there any way your mom can talk to her?  I’m really sorry you’re going through this.  I would be stressed too!

Post # 5
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010


I like Blueshoes2’s suggestion of what to say. Also, I think on a shower invite it is okay to put down where the bride is registered (as long as you are not sending the invite yourself).

Do you have another aunt or relative who could co-host and tone down your aunt’s out-there ideas?

Post # 6
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’ve received a bridal shower invitation that was a bit like that…it said instead of gifts to please bring $50 to donate to the purchase of their wedding china! I RSVP’ed no to that one…I barely even knew the girl and was not going to give her $50 after that!

I would definitely try to talk to her about it and ask another aunt or relative or friend to co-host with her…someone you can really trust and explain the situation to her. Then tell the crazy aunt that your aunt has been asking about throwing a shower as well and it would really mean a lot if she could assist with the planning of this one.

Also, don’t be afraid to offend your aunt on this one. Think of it like this: would you much rather offend one aunt by telling her that’s a bad idea or offend every single one of your guests by allowing an invitation like that to go out? I think you have to go with the lesser of the two evils here and offend the aunt. I’m guessing she won’t even be offended because she seems like the type to not catch on to subtly. I don’t think it wouldn’t even phase her if you were really blunt. Good luck! 

Post # 7
127 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Wow! That’s pretty intense. You definitely need to just say it to her. Based on your description of her, it doesn’t sound like she’ll be offended if you do. Maybe find a cute invitation that someone has posted on here and show it to her as an example. Just make sure to include that you deinitely do not want the money comment on it!

Good Luck!

Post # 8
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I second everything said here, and I have to add: blame it on your friends.  Say, “I know you want to do it this way, but my friends will really be offended/hurt/weirded out if we do it like that.  Everyone I know has done some variation on (this), and (this) is what they will be expecting.”  That way it isn’t that she is massively tacky, just that “things are done differently now”. 

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