Post # 1
Hey all– I was talking with my future FI the other day about how we will combine our finances once we get engaged. We both have a full disclosure relationship: we both want full access to all accounts, no hiding money and we dont really want separate accounts. (I know this might get some Bees up in a buzz; I;m not judging your choices, please dont judge mine. This is how I choose to go into my marriage, if you dont support it or have anything useful to say, please do not say it.)
I just want some ideas on how to handle all the finaces equitably. Im thinking one main joint account where we have our paychecks and take all school loan payments out of that, household costs (rent, bills, etc) and have another savings account where a percentage of the paychecks automatically go, and then another “fun” account for when he wants to play poker or I want a purse, or we go on vacaction.
Let me hear how you manage it, Bees!
Post # 3
We are not combining until after we get married. We both chip in evenly on bills since we’ve been engaged. Once we are married we will get joint accounts.
Post # 4
My and my So’s plan is to have a joint checking, joint savings and then we each get an “allowance” every week for the extras. This way, if I would want a new Coach bag or SO wants something for his Mustang, that money is ours to do with as we please without cutting into bill money or our savings.
Post # 5
@1stRosie: So this is just how FI and i handle it and it’s probably not for everyone…
He deposits 80% of each of his paychecks into a checking account that is only in my name (for no particular reason, it just doesn’t bother him to not have access). 100% of my paychecks go into the same account. The remaining 20% of his check goes into his personal checking account and he uses it for his truck payment, gas, insurance, and other little personal things like that.
I pay all the bills out of the checking account in my name and we use my credit card to get groceries and go out on date night and pretty much everything. However, I never, ever, ever think about it as “my” money. It’s unequivocably “our” money and neither of would spend any without consulting the other one first. I’m the organizer and the accountant in the relationship and he is totally okay with me handling the finances.. and even having sole access to the majority of it. Honestly, I would never be okay with it if he was theonly one who could access the money, especially if I worked hard to make some of it, but we’re totally different people when it comes to finances. He’s a self-admitted spender and (I swear he said this) “would rather give all (his) money to me than have it in an account and possibly be tempted to waste it”
I know it’s a little strange but it works very well for us. We already live together and bought a house and are in agreement about our savings goals so the name on the checks or on the account barely makes a difference 🙂 We might get a joint account after we’re married or when his credit improves a little (see… bad with money.) but since we’re both comfortable with the situation now I doubt it’ll be super high on the priority list 🙂
Post # 6
We’ve been together over 13 years years, have 3 kids and run a household and I was a fulltime sahm until recently so of course our finances are combined. Never really was an issue for us. We combined even before we had kids, before we were living together. Whatever he makes is mine and vise versa. It’s all ours.
Post # 7
We put his entire paycheque into a joint checking account and services all regular expenses we discuss any non-fixed expense purchase over $100 My entire paycheque goes into joint savings and only touched when we both are on board and benefitted (currently paying an extra $3000/month to our mortgage, but weve also used it for travel in the past) We each get $400 each month to spend/save as we see fit – no discussion required as long as we have the cash – and have individual savings accounts we can keep it in if we don’t want to spend it.
Post # 8
@1stRosie: Your idea sounds good to me.
I’d suggest having one person be the main one who manages the money. My bf manages our money. We still have separate accounts, but one main budget. Less confusing that way. Of course both of you will always know what’s going on, but the one person handles the bills, moving money around, etc. Works for us.
He earns more than I do so he pays for more.
We’re not married yet, but once we are we’ll probably get a joint account but still keep our separate accounts for fun stuff. Right now we also have our own investments and such (he’s 41 and I’m 27 so we’re both established), not sure exactly how that’ll work in the future when we’re married, but we do everything as a team now so I imagine we’ll figure something out that works.
Post # 9
We arnt going to do joint accounts until we get closer to the wedding but we plan on getting one joint checking and savings account and then each of us will have our own account that a % of our monthly paychecks will go into so that when we buy eachother gifts and whatnot it is actually from him to me or me to him.. not from our joint account to one or the other. Plus, if one of us want to splurge on something and the other just isnt up for it.. we have the option of doing it ourselves with the money we save from our individual paychecks every month.
Post # 10
Our accounts are completely separate. I give FI money each month towards our household expenses, and FI pays all the bills. FI makes significantly more money than I do (about 70% of our total household income) and could support our household without my help (FI owned his house before he met me, and the only extra expenses I added to the monthly household expenses when I moved in have been the extra utilities I use as well as groceries). Things like my car payment/insurance payment/gas etc are all paid out of my account and I don’t consider them household expenses. I try to give FI as much as I can though, once I’ve paid off part of my debts, as well as bought a few personal items and set aside some money for savings.
Post # 11
We are waiting until we are married to join all of our accounts. At the point all of our money will be completely together with both or names on it. For now, however, while we are engaged we just have a joint savings account. The only money in that account right now is money that we got as engagement gifts.
Post # 12
I think we’re going to do what we do now —
Joint expenses come out of our joint account that we put the same amount in each month (e.g. rent, utilities, groceries, household stuff)
Other expenses we pay for on our own… and we take turns when we’re out on picking up the check or driving or what have you so it balances out…
Post # 13
We currently have seperate accounts and will continue to have seperate accounts when we get married. My fiance has always paid for everything in our relationship. He makes substantially more money than me.
I moved in with him about a year into our relationship into the house he owns. That first year I took him on a sweet 2 week long Caribbean 30th birthday trip with all the money I “saved” by not paying him rent. He really appreciated it.
I pay for groceries about 50% of the time but that’s about my only expense. He has just always taken care of me and we both like it that way. I also work for him (Originally I was an RN and worked with him part-time but then he started needing me for more and more hours..now I work about 60 hours a week with him, so I had to sadly quit my RN job.) He pays me what I made as an RN and I’m fine with that. With having no expenses myself, I really just put the money in my savings account or plan mini staycations if we ever get the day off.
The only thing that will change when we get married is he will put me on his CC.
We are pretty old fashioned. This is how my parents do it (my mom ALSO works for my father!) so that may be why I’m comfortable with it.
Post # 14
We both put a set amount into our joint account on the first day of each month to pay for bills, mortgage and groceries. He they pays for running the car (as I don’t drive) and otherwise we do our own thing. I like the balance of shared finances and separate finances that we have.
We started this balance when we bought our house (10 months after we got together) and hasn’t changed after the wedding.
Post # 15
The first thing to consider is whether you already handle money similarly. If you don’t, this is going to be a massive adjustment that’s going to be quite tough. This is not judging, it’s just reality. If you use debit all the time and he lives and dies by cash, it’s going to be really hard to combine your everyday checking accounts. That said, if that’s not an issue, coolbeans.
Beyond that, it depends on how much you really want to share, and if either of you has fixed expenses the other wants no part of (ie, student loans). If you’re 100% making everything, incoming and outgoing, “ours”, then just set up a joint checking and joint savings, with a budget. Deposit paychecks into it, transfer savings into a joint savings account. If you want to do separate accounts for different “types” of savings, go for it. I mean, from what you’re saying, it shouldn’t really be more complicated than making sure your income exceeds your out-go every month, like single person finances except doubled.
That said, I would recommend at least a separate credit card for each of you. You want to be able to buy him birthday gifts!
Post # 16
We aren’t married yet- we share everything. It just workes well for us. It’s been like this since before we were officially engaged – pretty much as soon as we knew it would happen. He has to register his truck here in this state, which we went to go do yesterday ( but forgot the lein release!) and my name will also go on the title of his truck. That way if i ever need to handle any vehicle probs, I can do that with ease as well. Sharing everything just works well for us!!