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You don't (HA).
It has been 13 long months for us, I have ridiculous cycles on my own (100 and 200 days), so I have been started on meds to try and remedy that.
It is incredibly hard. I have cried almost monthly about it, because my body doesn't work right, and I feel like I am letting DH down. DH is super laid back about it, and isn't concerned about waiting for our baby (at least that is what he tells me).
We do a lot of reminding ourselves about what we can do now that we couldn't, or it would be difficult to do with a baby (landscaping the yard, etc). We also take a lot of time out to go on dates and stuff, and we don't force sex anymore. We try to maintain an every second day schedule, but if we miss a day, no biggie, it isn't the end of the world.
I don't have any really great advice, as you can see (LOL) you just have to try to relax about it and keep your focus on other things as well.
Some months will be better than others but some months are just totally sucky because of it. My husband was really supportive while we were TTC. When I had really bad months, he'd support me emotionally and occaisionally we'd splurge on something that I really wanted but couldn't justify otherwise, little treats like that to offset the crummy time.
Definitely try to spend the time you can focused on things you won't have as easy a time once baby joins you. Make sure you surround yourself by those people who love and support you, even if they don't know you are TTC. A positive atmosphere helps though it doesn't solve it by a long shot.
It's extremely hard! For some odd reason, I thought this wouldn't be such a long journey for us. AF is pretty regular, but this month she doesn't want to show. It's been 41 days and counting since my last AF. That got my hopes up, but when I tested this morn, it was still a BFN. It's so frustrating and I have become super emptional. I guess we will have to increase our date nights and not focus so much on stressing over what we can't control.
@Ms Mini- sending baby dust your way :)
@Pelikila- if you don't mind me asking, how long was your TTC journey?
@MARIE901: ms mini is right, sometimes you just cant stay positive.
But you lean on people around you, or those in cyberspace to help you get through the day. You pick yourself up and you move forward the best way you can.
I totally agree with a lot of the other posters. It's really hard to stay positive. You just have to surround yourself with fantastic people and lean on them when you need them. There are days that I have complete breakdowns when I hear of someone new getting pregnant in the first month, and there are other days that I'm fine.
We've been TTC since June 2010. I found out that I was pregnant in the beginning of May and miscarried in the beginning of June 2011. So it's definitely been tough. these boards have helped me tremendously.
It's really hard sometimes. Can't add too much to what others have posted here. There's a good thread (it's a sticky at the top of the babies board) called the TTC and Still Going List. It's a good thread for those who have been TTC for awhile.
It is extremely hard to stay positive. All you can do is try your hardest each month, stay healthy, and distract yourself with friends and hobbies when needed. Oh, and wine helps too.
2peasinapod - I am sorry to hear about your loss. I can only imagine how hard that was for you and your hubby. It's great that you have a wonderful support system to help you through the tough times. My FH is very supportive and helpful, but it's hard with him getting his hopes up every month and then being let down. I had no idea this would be such an emotional journey!
I know this is so minor, but I just got AF during my first cycle TTC. My son was a very lucky cycle one baby, so I guess I thought I would have the same luck again. My DH is very disappointed, he's 43 next month and is worried because of a car accident and injurires he substained during it. This will be his first child, if we conceive.
It's hard, but remember that each cycle only comes with a 20-25% chance, even with perfect timing. Most couples take 6-12 months. So, while it may seem like an eternity, most of us should have our babies in 2012!
@MapleBecky: I had no idea that the chances were that low! I learn something new about TTC everyday !
@MapleBecky: Your last two sentences are what I'm hoping for and we haven't officially started trying yet. Everyday I say a little something to myself like "wishing for a conception in fall." It gets me through.
@MARIE901: Yeah! 20%. It makes me want to try sooner than later because the chance of getting pregnant is so low, so I won't be disappointed if we don't get pregnant on the first cycle.
DH and I have been TTC for five months now (I've just started the TWW of cycle five) and to be perfectly honest I just try not to think about it (call it taking the "stick your head in the sand" approach if you will).
So far I've avoided peeing on any sticks and when in the TWW I try to avoid the fertility and baby-specific websites so that I don't psych myself out and end up a complete mess.
I also think that sometimes Dr Google and the world wide web have provided us with far too much information and it's just so easy to get overwhelmed and caught up in all the things that could possibly go wrong when in reality most of us have perfectly normal fertility.
Staying positive is hard, so I try to stay distracted. Last weekend I treated myself to a facial and I've been going to yoga a few times a week. We have also tried to be spontaneous, going out to a new restaurant or going to the beach, all things that when we do have kids, will not be as easy on the fly. It is very hard when you see pregnant ladies or your friends announce they are pregnant. Above all I want to be a mom and my husband and I have decided that no matter what that will happen. So in my saddest moments, I try to remember that....and then I have a glass of wine.
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I'm just curious as to how fellow bees stay positive while TTC. I am in quite of a funk today after I got a BFN for the thrid month in a row. It's getting to me emotinally and I have been down all day. I always get my hopes up and I have gotten BFN's all three months of TTC. I know we haven't been trying long (since June), but it's still frustrating. So, how do you remain positive throughout your TTC journey?