Post # 1
The fiance and I are trying to have a small, intimate wedding with people who we all know (around 80-90 people). Unfortunately, we soon realized that if we allowed everyone to bring a +1, this would set us waay over that limit. The fiance suggested that we only allow +1s if the couple are married, engaged, or are in a long-term committed relationship. He wanted to cut out the “casual dates,” aka “flavor-of-the-week” type girlfriends/boyfriends. I thought this method might potentially offend a lot of people, but see no other way of doing it. Heeelllppp!
Post # 2
camiyu86: Many couples have used the same parameters as your FI suggested.
Post # 3
camiyu86: We only gave plus one’s to people who didnt know anyone else (other than people in relationships). No one complained. Then again, most of our single guests were my husbands guy friends who knew 20 other people there.
Post # 4
Your fiance is right. Wedding etiquette dictates that a couple is under no obligation to invite casual partners to their wedding. Spouses and other long term partners are to be invited.
You simply cannot invite everyone, especially if you are having an intimate wedding.
While 80-90 guests is not a large wedding, I don’t think that you would have an intimate feel nearly 100 people at your wedding.
Post # 5
camiyu86: We’re doing that too. Someone is going to be offended by something silly at every event, including your wedding. Why not know in advance what’s going to offend them?
Logically, you have to draw the line somewhere. I think that where you’ve chosen to put it is very logical and makes a lot of sense, and is a very common cutoff.
My MOH (of all people), who is not in a serious relationship, not looking for a relationship, and will know at least 50% of the people at our wedding, was actually upset for 30 seconds when (after she asked) I said that unless the invitee has had a serious relationship for a while, no plus ones. Why? She wanted one of our mutual friends to be a plus one. The same friend is getting her own invite……I have no idea what the logic was, but as far as I know she got over it.