(Closed) How do you stop feeling like an overbearing bridesmaid?

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Umm I feel like I struggle a little… I don’t know when to give my opinion or not.  I want to be helpful, but…..  However, you have a kind of unique situation, I’d think.

First are you sure you really want to be in the wedding?  You are putting your own life on hold for this.  I just wonder if you are frustrated because they are "encroaching" on your life plans.  (Which they aren’t you just need to back down and go abroad, if this is the case.)

Also, are you sure you’re really OK with being a BM in your ex’s wedding?  You must be certain you don’t have feelings for him, before you continue to go through with this.  If you in fact still have feelings for the groom and wish that not only were you getting the wedding the way she is, but also getting the groom too, you need to back down.

I’m assuming Mr. Complicated is the ex.   I’m not sure his reasons for really wanting you to be in the wedding, but if you’re bending over backwards to please him, ask yourself why.  Be honest with yourself.  You might not be able to control if you are having some jealousy issues.  But you owe it to them and yourself, to follow through with doing what is best for all of you.  Good luck.

Post # 5
Member
5399 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If waiting for 2 months makes you unhappy, then carpe diem!  Just go and be where you think you’ll be the happiest.  You should come #1, not your ex and his future wife.

Post # 7
Member
62 posts
Worker bee

Try keeping your dream wedding ideas to yourself – there’s no reason why some other bride should have your ideal wedding. Maybe you can try limiting your opinions and help to specific requests. I know it’s hard seeing others getting married and wondering when it will be your time. But just think of how insanely jealous so many other people are that you get to go on an 8 month overseas trip and start on a new life! How exciting!

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