How do you stop infatuation?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

@HonoraryNerd:  I had this happen once.  Then he became my fiancee.  Haha!  

In all seriousness, I would do my best to avoid speaking with this individual unless it is strictly work related. The less time you spend “bonding” with him, aka sharing personal details about one another, the less likely you are to continue being infatuated.  

Post # 5
Member
5199 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

This happened to me.  For me the best cure was out-of-sight-out-of-mind.  Try to stay away from him.  If you can’t (difficult in a small office) try to find out unattractive things about him.  For example, if you find out that he’s slept with a mutual aquiaintance, that might make him seem less desirable.

Post # 6
Member
243 posts
Helper bee

When you start thinking about him, think about ur FI and how compatable you are with him…if you were to see another man, the chances of it working out are slim…why risk losing someone great for someone who you dont even know will be compatible with you….thats what Id think lol

Post # 7
Member
7265 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I’m not sure, I’ve never had this problem. Maybe picture him pooping or something.

Post # 8
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Right now, he is new and interesting.  I think the longer you are around him, the less new and interesting he will be.  I had something sort of like this with a married friend. He is a great guy, and physically my type.  My FI has even said that he is glad that  OG was married when we met. 

Given about a year though, I got to the point where I looked at him and thought to myself “Man, you are great, but completely not my type.”  And then I was done.  Just found out that his personality and mine did not mesh on a level that I would need in a relationship. We still hang out.  Infact, his wife and him will be having dinner with us once we have a free weekend. 

I think the complete cold shoulder may work for some, but I think that keeps you from realizing all the flaws in the person.  It can keep you idolizing them longer. 

Post # 9
Member
213 posts
Helper bee

i think i would try and imagine how i would feel if fiance had the same feelings towards a woman he worked with… and then i would probably be too sick to my stomach to swoon over him anymore lol

 

Post # 10
Member
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

First off, DO NOT feel guilty about these feelings. You’re totally normal. I know a lot of posters above make it seem like this is something you should feel bad about, but you shouldn’t. If you know that you would never do anything or act upon your feelings, than don’t feel bad.

Secondly, just wait it out. Seriously, I know that the feelings or attraction you feel may be pretty strong and annoying now, but in time you’ll get past it. Time will pass, the newness will wear off, and he’ll just be another guy. In all honesty, spending more time around (not with) him (at work) may be what eventually turns you off. I find that the desire to see the “infatuation” more, and the mystery of who that person is, only drives my attraction further. I tend to get over those attractions after spending more time around them.

 

Post # 11
Member
213 posts
Helper bee

@urchin:  i’m not implying she should feel guilty, feelings are natural i’m just saying that maybe the image of her fiance having similar feelings towards another woman will cease her infatuation. 

Post # 12
Member
2973 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@HonoraryNerd:  Remind yourself that he’s a real person, with real flaws, real problems. He’s not perfect & fantasy is always better than reality.  

It’s normal to have mini crushes on new acquaintances but it will eventually fade on its own…I hope. I can’t say that I’ve experienced this while being with FH, but I have before. 

Post # 13
Member
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@brooklyn_bee:  I wasn’t necessarily referring to your comment 🙂 Just general feeling that I got from a few responses.

Post # 14
Member
5207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@HonoraryNerd:  Let it run its course. These things happen and once they pass you have a good laugh. 

Post # 15
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I used to work with a guy I thought was SO dreamy! Then one day I realized that he has NO upper lip! And it weirded me out so badly I could barely talk to him after that!

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