Post # 1
Ladies, I just started a new job and am having problems with a coworker. The problem is, I’m completely infatuated with him! I know it’s nothing serious and I’m in no way doubting my relationship with FI. It’s just so annoying to feel like I’m acting like a little girl with a crush. How do you get it to stop??
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
@HonoraryNerd: I had this happen once. Then he became my fiancee. Haha!
In all seriousness, I would do my best to avoid speaking with this individual unless it is strictly work related. The less time you spend “bonding” with him, aka sharing personal details about one another, the less likely you are to continue being infatuated.
Post # 4
@LMD: me too!! must be common!
Post # 5
This happened to me. For me the best cure was out-of-sight-out-of-mind. Try to stay away from him. If you can’t (difficult in a small office) try to find out unattractive things about him. For example, if you find out that he’s slept with a mutual aquiaintance, that might make him seem less desirable.
Post # 6
When you start thinking about him, think about ur FI and how compatable you are with him…if you were to see another man, the chances of it working out are slim…why risk losing someone great for someone who you dont even know will be compatible with you….thats what Id think lol
Post # 7
I’m not sure, I’ve never had this problem. Maybe picture him pooping or something.
Post # 8
Right now, he is new and interesting. I think the longer you are around him, the less new and interesting he will be. I had something sort of like this with a married friend. He is a great guy, and physically my type. My FI has even said that he is glad that OG was married when we met.
Given about a year though, I got to the point where I looked at him and thought to myself “Man, you are great, but completely not my type.” And then I was done. Just found out that his personality and mine did not mesh on a level that I would need in a relationship. We still hang out. Infact, his wife and him will be having dinner with us once we have a free weekend.
I think the complete cold shoulder may work for some, but I think that keeps you from realizing all the flaws in the person. It can keep you idolizing them longer.
Post # 9
i think i would try and imagine how i would feel if fiance had the same feelings towards a woman he worked with… and then i would probably be too sick to my stomach to swoon over him anymore lol
Post # 10
First off, DO NOT feel guilty about these feelings. You’re totally normal. I know a lot of posters above make it seem like this is something you should feel bad about, but you shouldn’t. If you know that you would never do anything or act upon your feelings, than don’t feel bad.
Secondly, just wait it out. Seriously, I know that the feelings or attraction you feel may be pretty strong and annoying now, but in time you’ll get past it. Time will pass, the newness will wear off, and he’ll just be another guy. In all honesty, spending more time around (not with) him (at work) may be what eventually turns you off. I find that the desire to see the “infatuation” more, and the mystery of who that person is, only drives my attraction further. I tend to get over those attractions after spending more time around them.
Post # 11
@urchin: i’m not implying she should feel guilty, feelings are natural i’m just saying that maybe the image of her fiance having similar feelings towards another woman will cease her infatuation.
Post # 12
@HonoraryNerd: Remind yourself that he’s a real person, with real flaws, real problems. He’s not perfect & fantasy is always better than reality.
It’s normal to have mini crushes on new acquaintances but it will eventually fade on its own…I hope. I can’t say that I’ve experienced this while being with FH, but I have before.
Post # 13
@brooklyn_bee: I wasn’t necessarily referring to your comment 🙂 Just general feeling that I got from a few responses.
Post # 14
@HonoraryNerd: Let it run its course. These things happen and once they pass you have a good laugh.
Post # 15
I used to work with a guy I thought was SO dreamy! Then one day I realized that he has NO upper lip! And it weirded me out so badly I could barely talk to him after that!