Post # 1
So we just found out we are pregnant on Saturday. We weren’t planning but we weren’t preventing either so we are a little surprised. I always felt I would have trouble conceiving. No medical diagnosis. Just a hunch. According to fertility friend I am four weeks and five days today. I am going for a blood draw tomorrow morning. Anyway I am finding myself worried at every little thing and am not getting excited about being pregnant. How do you stop worrying about miscarriage? And when do you stop? I am a worrier by nature. I have no symptoms but I have taken four tests. All dark positives. I have slight cramps and feel like I’m going to throw up but I think that’s just nerves. Any tips to ease my mind? I’ve read all the statistics and I know I have an 80% chance of a baby but I’m still worried.
Post # 3
honestly? you don’t! i used to think that when i got to 12 weeks i’d stop worrying about miscarriage and things going wrong, and then 12 weeks passed…..and sitll worried. Im now 21 weeks along and still terrified of losing the baby. telling myself that statistically the odds are great doesn’t help me, as i figure even if its a million to one, theres that one person affected (fyi its not a million to one but i cant be bothered to look up the stats)
my friend with a new baby says it doesnt even stop then. you spend days frantically checking if your new born is still breathing and if eveyrthing is ok
guess it’s just being a mom 😛 i hear its easier with a 2nd baby though?!
Post # 4
First off congrats!
I was also not expecting to be pregnant when I found out! We were not TTC. Honestly I worried from time to time.. but otherwise I wasn’t a huge worrier thankfully. My tips would be…
1. STAY OFF OF GOOGLE. do not google every twinge or worry or anything. honestly don’t google anything for the first trimester… maybe to learn about the first trimester genetic screening.. but do not google symptoms or fears!!
2. YOU WILL HAVE CRAMPS. your utereus is stretching. it’s gotta turn into a watermelon.. that has to pain a little bit.
3. BROWN SPOTTING: is old blood. usually nothing to be concerned about. a lot of people spot during the first 12 weeks suprisingly. Even red spotting. Your DR office will probably say this as well, you should really only be concerned if you are filling a pad, or if the red spotting is followed by bad cramps! The two together are a little alarming, but your nurse should cover their typical procedure for that in your first visit, otherwise right it in your questions for them. “When to worry about spotting or anything?”
4. There isn’t much you can do to change what’s going to happen. So don’t think what if I do this and I misscarry… Obviously you want to find out what things to avoid while pregnant such as foods, medicines, heavy lifting.. and so on. But do not let yourself think that if you do this or do that you might miscarry! just be knowledgeable on the things to avoid during pregnancy!
Post # 5
@gpsp2B: Thanks. My husband has threatened to block google. Lol. I am so nervous about it all we haven’t even told our mom’s. I just don’t feepregnant.
Post # 6
Yeah, sorry but you’re going to be worried for the rest of your life. 🙂 Welcome to parenthood!
Post # 7
@jlripl: THATS ANOTHER TIP. do not think that just because you feel fine, you’re not pregnant.. I had almost NO Morning Sickness.. my boobs were not tender.. they did not grow. I DID have food adversions… I just only could eat certain things.. I would think of something for dinner after countless no’s, and i could really only eat that for dinner nothing else sounded good. and I had a bloodhound nose. I still do.
But that “I have MS so that means everthing is good” is an annoying thing to hear!!! I have been pretty blessed with my pregnancy other then the fact that I have severe liver complications prior to pregnancy that are making my last trimester dangerous, so I’m being induced at 34 weeks… just 34 days away! OTHERWISE, super easy pregnancy. just lucky :]
Post # 8
@gpsp2B: +1 Great advice here
I’m 26 weeks and I never stop worrying. Then when she is born I’ll have new worries. You take it day by day and do your best not to stress too much.
Post # 9
@jlripl: I think you stop when you die! Welcome to the start of being a parent! just try and relax and enjoy your pregnancy. Telling myself there is nothing I can do to prevent something from happening helps a little. As time goes on you will worry a little less but honestly it doesn’t really ever go away.
Post # 10
I don’t know if you are a spiritual or religious person. But to me, a baby being born is already something that is decided. If the baby is meant to be, it will be. One can try their hardest to prevent pregnancy (like my mom did each time she had me, my brother, and sister). But you’ll still end up pregnant. Or you can try desperately to conceive and end up not getting pregnant at all. Just take care of yourself, and don’t worry about the rest! But I’m sure you will have a healthy baby! Especially for the fact you weren’t exactly trying.
Post # 11
@raziel1687: agree w/ you. I’m not a mom yet but my mom says God takes some of them back only if he needs to. Think positively!! I would probably block google bc I’m a Google symptoms searching maniac.
Post # 12
But then once you do have a baby, my MIL said, that once you have children, you will worry for the rest of your life about your children!!! LOLLL So even if you can stop worrying now, you will worry later once the baby is here xP
Post # 13
I pray a lot. I am 12w and I am a lot less worried than I was at 4-6w. Each week that passed the worry lessened. Once I heard the hb at 10w I felt like I was in the clear. Now I am anxiously awaiting our 14w appointment. I doubt it will ever fully go away but I am getting more comfortabe living with it. Pregnancy is completely out of my hands- just have to take it as it comes, a day at a time.
Post # 15
@jlripl: those first couple of months are stressful. Once you get into the 2nd trimester it wil start to feel more real. At 27w, tho, I still worry about things- if I don’t feel him move I wiggle things around. You’re feeling is totally 100% normal- welcome to the start of being a worrying mom!
Post # 16
I’m going to preface this by saying that I have never been pregnant, but having learnt about pregnancy and read about miscarriages, this is how I personally will try to think when I do start to try and whilst I am (hopefully) pregnant.
If I do have a miscarriage, it is not because of anything I have done, a miscarriage was meant to happen from the beginning of the pregnancy and nothing was going to stop it. Most miscarriages happen because the baby was just not meant to be born, biologically something went wrong. This is no one’s fault, a miscarriage is nature’s way of preventing the birth of babies who cannot survive in this world, babies who were never meant to be. I would rather miscarry that have that baby die hours after birth.
What I CAN do is focus on the healthiness of my baby, should it turn out to carry to full term. So I won’t smoke, won’t drink and will follow all of the doctor’s instructions. If this is your focus then you will have nothing to worry about…until that baby is born and then you’ll have everything to worry about. 😛