(Closed) How do you tell difficult parents that you're getting married? So nervous!

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Just tell them….They might actually be “happy” for you both….

If not….just explain that you are both ADULTS and that it’s going to happen either way

good luck xx

Post # 5
Member
4328 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Parents do not control you any longer if you are old enough to be married. Your father’s opinion doesn’t matter. Sure, it may suck if he isn’t over the moon, but what’s the worst that could happen? It’s not like he can kick you out of his house. So what? You’re getting married, and are out of the nest anyway.

Post # 7
Member
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@MabelleBliss:  I think it’s funny how people still have fear when it comes to their parents…..Like your a little child that’s going to get told off hehehehe I mean I do it too…I just find it funny

Post # 8
Member
4664 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I felt this too! And it was somewhat justified… the situation is funny actually.

We were so excited to tell his parents, and they were so happy for us, though they’re miffed NOW that they know we’re avoiding religion and having a small intimate wedding. (They’d rather we have a catholic priest and invite everyone we — and they –have ever met) They have insisted we’ll regret it. 

MY parents were unimpressed when we said we were engaged. My mom was happy but too busy to get super psyched. My dad, like yours, is a little unpredictable, I had no idea how he’d respond, and in this case hardly reacted at all except to say he wasn’t paying and thought weddings were superfluous. He thought we should go to the courthouse and skip the drama and expense, like they did. He came around quite a bit however when we told him we were only having 45 guests and a low-key, non-religious event and said he was proud of me and thought I was headed in the right direction.

My point is: You clearly can’t please everyone so just do you. Keep them in the loop and then step back and enjoy the life you have chosen with the person you love. Hopefully nobody will burn bridges, but if they do, you still know you’ve done what you wanted with your life.

Post # 9
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I think you just need to bite the bullet they might surprise you and be over the moon.  And even if they’re not, its your day and your decision and it’s a weight off your mind when it’s all out in the open.  Good luck and try not to worry 🙂

Post # 10
Member
1497 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I was honestly horrible at telling my parents. I casually mentioned it to my mom (she was not thrilled) and then I wrote an email to my dad so he could digest everything before we talked on the phone (he lives 4 hours away). My family is super judgmental and questions everything I do, so this has actually helped them to get over it and realize they need to back off because I was afraid to talk to them about happy events in my life. I just didn’t want to deal with the drama. 

 

His family is super supportive and happy on the other hand. Probably because they bothered to know us as a couple and a family (with his daughter). 

 

Just sit them down and talk to them. Or write them emails. I’m a fan of emails.

Post # 12
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I don’t really know what the issue here is. But for what it’s worth for both my family and his we announced our engagement by me sticking my ring finger for all to see. Happy shrieks all around. Good times. Don’t do an email though. That really impersonal and will probably cause you more drama than maning up and telling them in person would cause. At the very least call them.

Post # 14
Member
650 posts
Busy bee

I would just be honest and come out and tell them, you might be pleasantly surprised that the reaction might not be at all what you expected

Post # 15
Member
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

update?

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