Post # 1
So the deal is that my dad’s side of the family is very religious and very conservative and my FI and I are not. They are very outspoken about their beliefs and I’m terrified that they will make disparaging and hateful comments to some of my guests(especially considering that many of my personal friends are gay and will be with their partners.) I am not sure how to approach this issues with them because we are not close at all and we really have only spoken a handful of times over the past few years. I am at a complete loss as to what to do.
Post # 3
Do they have a habit of insulting people to their face like that?
Post # 4
I honestly have not spent much time around them to really know but 99% of the stuff that they post on Facebook is about that kind of stuff and I know from experience that they are not the type of people to hold their tongues in general.
Post # 5
People like that tend to be pretty set in their ways so I don’t really know if there really is a nice way of telling them to keep their mouths shut when you don’t even know how they are going to act. I am pretty sure they will take anything as an attack and get very angry. I would hope that they would behave themselves at your wedding and if not I think somebody should be put on duty to kindly escort them from the premises if they cause any problems. That is what I would do at least, sorry I couldn’t be more helpful.
Post # 6
I am glad that we dont care what people think and our families know that we are at the age where their opinions dont count, not needed, or asked for. My FI and I are the so much alike that everyone knows that it is fruitless. His concern is about my happiness and vice versa.
EDIT: We have gay friends and they are more than welcome to attend our wedding. We are not inviting anyone to our wedding that will be judgemental. I also know when you have parent or relative you cant stop them from attending your wedding.
You can lay down some ground rules about respecting you and your FI’s wishes.
Post # 7
My stepdad is extremely conservative and outspoken about it. Usually I agree with him in regard to politics (except about gay rights… I’m 100% for equal rights. He is coming around on this issue though, albeit slowly), but I still don’t want him spouting off at my wedding where there will be gay people present, in addition to *gasp* liberals! I just told him to not talk politics. While he is outspoken, he isn’t downright rude so we should be okay. Still though, I will remind him that morning, “no politics!”
Since you aren’t close to these relatives though it makes it difficult to control what they speak about or say to other guests. Is it even that important to you that they attend? I wouldn’t invite anyone to my wedding that I felt would be hateful and rude toward other guests…
Post # 8
Perhaps if it is somewhat futile to try and discourage your family you could warn your friends? I am sure your friends know how much you support them and that you don’t agree with any of your family’s outspoken beliefs and would understand the issue you are dealing with. Also I have a feeling your family and thier beliefs will be greatly out numbered and will hopefully cause them to keep themselves to themselves?