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i would just be straight with people. tell them excatly what you've just told us.
You could easily say: No children other than those included in wedding party.
If anyone makes an issue out of it, let them know of your space and budget limitations, and that while it was a difficult decision, you had to prioritize adults over children.
Good luck!
My FI and I just made our final decision about children the other night - I wanted to invite them all, he wanted to invite none - and we came to a compromise. Kids can come if they're family and if they're old enough to know how to behave. To make sure people don't bring their children, we're addressing the invitations specifically to "Mr. and Mrs. Lastname", not to the family. We've also got a spot on the RSVP where we indicate how many seats their family will have at the reception. For friends with kids, we're just putting "2".
I don't know if this strategy will work. There may still be some extra munchkins who show up.
Just don't put kids names on the invitations. If you find out someone is planning on bringing theres, call them and explain what you just told us.
We had to do the same thing. I have a really large family, and my mother insisted that we invite all of my cousins' children. However, our venue only accommodates 100 people total, and we could not invite all of the friends we wanted if we also included their children. So we decided to limit children to just family.
To get this message across, for people whose children were not invited, we put just the couple's name on the invitation. Two couples asked us whether their kids were invited, and we said, "Unfortunately, our venue space is limited, and we could not include children outside of our relatives." They seemed cool with it.
You can;t without offending people since it is rude. Guests will wonder why someone else's kids can be there and their's can't.
On my invitations I stated "Adult only reception". I have children in my bridal party, so of course they'll be there, and if I want to include nieces and nephews or children of really close friends, I'll add their names to the invitations. For the most part, if I'm close enough to a person to want their kids at my wedding, I will be able to tell them it's okay to bring them in person. But to be on the safe side, I'm glad I put it on my invites.
I don't think this is rude at all. I think it's fairly standard that children who are in the family (who are usually flower girls and ring bearers) are the only ones invited.
I would just not put other childrens' names on the invitations. If someone is rude enough to ask if they can come or puts their names down, call and just say that only children in the wedding party/family will be there because of size constraints.
Just be straight forward. If they decide not to come then that is their decision and just express to them that you are sorry and you will miss them.
Where I come from it's a custom to add a simple 'No kids' in the invite. Everyone gets it.
Thanks everyone for the advise. Im gonna put on the invitations the names of everyone that is invited. If we are inviting their children we will put their names on it also. We have been calling everyone to get addresses to get the names of everyone including children and we will deicde from there if we will invite children or not.
@chowmeingrl: That sounds perfect - pretty much what I'm doing - let us know how it works out!
We faced a similar dilemma. Our venue automatically charges $29 + tax and gratuity for a chicken finger meal and a soda package for any kid 2 or older. When we added it up, if everyone brought their kids, we would have 30-something toddlers and young kids at our wedding. I don't mind a few children at a wedding, but that would just be nuts (not to mention expensive)!
We put only the adults' names on the invitation and we also put on our reception insert w/ the invitations "Adult guests are welcome to join us for dinner, cocktails and dancing..."
I STILL had several people ask me if they could bring their kids. I just said "No, unfortunately our venue is not child-friendly. If you need help finding a babysitter, I'll do my best to get you in touch with someone. If you can't make it, we understand."
I once heard someone say that the people that make the biggest stink about not being allowed to bring kids are the ones whose kids are the most difficult/badly behaved. I've found this to be SO true, and I've had no problem saying no to those people!
You have to say it just like it is. Sorry, due to capacity limits no children are permitted unless they are a blood relative.
I don't think it's rude AT ALL. Your budget is your budget, period. If you can't go over a number, let them know that.
Since our save-the-dates are going out next month, we called people we were inviting who have kids and told them that we are having a child-free wedding and we just wanted to let them know so they wouldn't be surprised when the save-the-dates came addressed sans kids. We were concered that if we didn't call, not everyone would realize from the STDs/invites alone.
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So my FI and I finally found the place of our dream to do our wedding and reception. The one requirement is there must be a minimum of 100 guest. We can't really afford to go that much over it. We are currently going through the guest list and I can't believe how many friends of ours have children! We just can't afford all of them. I can't say adults only because we have children who in the wedding party, the only difference is that they are related to us. How do you tell guests (non-relative) to leave their kids at home without offending them?