Post # 1
I’m not sure how many of you can identify with this, but when I started planning for our wedding, I wanted something simple, elegant, and us. I imagined something much like Sherry and John’s wedding at Young House Love, which they had in their backyard:
But, you know, reality set in. The guest list doubled because my parents and the Future In-Laws have made it clear that it’s very important to them that their friends and our extended family are all there. Regardless of whether they’re paying, we really do want them to feel like this is their day to celebrate as well, so we’ve cut down the list as much as we’re going to.
And then there’s the location – “us” has a lot to do with our city. And Chicago is expensive and notorious for having awful weather. Which means that even if we had a simple outdoor location, we’d have to pay for a backup as well. And all the backups that fit our criteria are venues with huge bills themselves.
You know the process…. it’s a slippery slope, and before you know it your dream wedding is still beautiful, but totally different from the simple affair it was originally intended to be.
So my question to you is, in what way did you uncomplicate your wedding? How did you simplify things or make them more you?
Post # 3
I don’t have any advice for you but I’m sorry that it isn’t turning out the way that you wanted it to. I’m sure that it will be beautiful in the end.
Post # 4
Our wedding is in June outside in FL. It will be sweltering and also it is right on hurricane season yay. No backup plan wish us luck but our reception site is inside. Worse comes to worse we do it there. Good luck it will all work out whats important is that you are married at the end of the day 🙂
Post # 5
The biggest thing I did to uncomplicate our wedding was this – when we first started planning, my FH and I sat down together and each listed our 3 priorities for the wedding. Mine were food, outdoor venue, and being able to have multiple events during the weekend. His were food, outdoor venue, and music. We then made a list of stuff of the absolute must-haves. For us, this was invitations, a dress, table decorations, catering, music, chairs/tables/rentals, and a rehearsal dinner and brunch. Invitations super cheap from http://www.weddingpaperdivas.com, dress for $500, DIY flowers from Costco in mason jars for the tables, a great caterer (splurge) that will let us provide our own booze and provides all the rentals, an iPod for a DJ, his mom volunteered to do the rehearsal dinner, my grandparents are hosting the brunch, and that’s it. Seriously. Anything we did not immediately think of? We just aren’t having it. We figured that if we could not think of something we wanted while we were concentrating on then no one else would miss it. So, no favors, no cake (although our caterer does provide dessert), so 3-dress bride, so matching menu-program-escort cards, etc. It’s not going to be the most lavish wedding ever, but it will be us, it will be on-budget, and it will have everything we need.
Of course everyone is going to have different priorities, and different things will appear on those lists of must-haves, but as long as you and your FH are moving forward with the things that are truly important to you, you will have an uncomplicated day. Just drop everything else and put your energy into the stuff that matters to you. (We spent HOURS drafting menu ideas, but zero time contemplating DIY favors, so it all balances out – you might as well spend your time doing the part you like.)
Post # 6
I may be the wrong person to be asking this question since I am now three months away from the wedding and have been planning for 14 months!
Truth of it is that I don’t think there is any such thing as an uncomplicated wedding! I have read all about John and Sherry’s wedding. It’s great that it worked out for them, but I would not find making all of my own food, decorations, center pieces, etc etc unstressful! I think they do make it sound very idealistic, but I am sure there were complications along the way.
My advice is to be organized and hire a DOC. Wedding planning can be fun, but it’s also a lot of work. Someone told me that wedding planning brings out the best and worst in people. So far I have found that to be very true!
So be organized, research and hire good vendors, hire a DOC, stick up to your parents when necessary and always keep in mind that what’s important in the end is that you are marrying your FI! Good luck, this process is a rollercoaster! 🙂
Post # 7
A couple of things I have found to make it less complicated…
1) Hire a wedding planner.
2) Don’t look at bridal mags or blogs or whatever for new ideas…behind that beautifully set up simple whatever it is someone had to come up with the idea, find the supplies and execute. The more elements you add the more complicated it gets.
3) Know your limits…the thought of handling my own music stresses me out. I hired a DJ.
4) Delegate, delegate, delegate.
5) Put someone in charge of the money who is not emotionally attached to the adorable little extras. For our wedding we decided that Fiance is the Chief Financial Officer and I am the Chief Executive Officer. Fiance doesn’t care and probably does not know what the difference is between having peonies or dalhias. Me I want those peonies. BAD. So we set a budget and he makes me stick to it. (sorry peonies – he made me do it. I still love you though)
6) Extras are just that. Extra. Must haves for a wedding – you, him, and someone to marry you, and enough money for the marriage license.
Post # 8
I am still 4 months away from our wedding, so I admit it may still become complicated. But so far, I feel like we have kept it simple despite a growing guest list, “must-do” traditions, etc. My best advice would be:
Don’t shoot for the “perfect” dress, DJ, florist, etc because there’s no such thing. We hired the first DJ, photographer, and florist we met with. I bought my dress on my first real dress shopping trip. We saw four venues over one weekend and chose one of them soon after. I think wedding blogs often suggest that each detail of your wedding needs to a) reflect your personality as a couple b) be unique c)fit perfectly with every other detail. And don’t forget “little” constraints like availability, budget, etc. I would be SO stressed if I tried to meet those criteria each time!! I just looked for something that we both liked and could afford. Ironically, I do think the end result will be a wedding that’s very personal to us as a couple and that fits together beautifully 🙂
Post # 9
To simplify things, we aren’t going to have a bridal party, flowers, or cake. We’re also having the ceremony and reception in the same space at a restaurant located on a river, which has a lot of meaning for us (the river, not the restaurant). The venue is great because it has floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the river and the city skyline.
Post # 10
We started out a year ago wanting everything to be sort of handmade and personalized, and gradually realized that because of both a) the reality of time constraints and b) the reality of needing to honor our parents’ wishes for a more traditional wedding, it wasn’t going to happen. I agree wholeheartedly with the posters who said it is important to make a priority list. We did that and just stuck to our guns with them about our photographer (no, thank you, we do not want the dude who charged my sister $7000 (!!!) for some pretty run-of-the-mill piictures) and our music (no, thank you, we also do not want an expensive and boring band that no one will dance to just beacuse you think it will look “elegant”). But we had to let go of a lot of stuff–like getting married in a garden, having my two best male friends be bridesmen, having our reception be more fun than formal, not having random-ass people we’ve never met invited to the wedding.
I also agree with the poster who said not to obsess over blogs and magazines that have all of these perfectly crafty and personalized DIY projects that make us all feel bad about ourselves when we can’t pull it off, like we must be the most unoriginal people in the world. Do a few things that are really, truly, meaningful to you, and don’t feel like if you don’t handcraft every last detail your wedding is a cookie cutter failure. We chose to brew beer, make some clever programs, design our ceremony, and bake our favors, but to be honest everything else is pretty standard wedding, which we’re OK with because know our friends and family will still have a good time, and so will we. At the end of the day, of COURSE your wedding will be personalized–it’s about you and your soon to be husband!
It’s hard, and I still get upset about it from time to time, but now that we’re almost two months to go I do think that the best way to “uncomplicate” a wedding is to relax, adopt a zenlike attitude, and let go a little bit–stick up for stuff you really, really want at your wedding, find little personal touches to put in, but just keep reminding yourself that love+people who are celebrating you+ a little champagne and cake and other shenanigans = a good wedding no matter what.
Post # 11
i know this sounds bad (and is a joke…sort of! )–don’t tell your mom! I think moms seem to complicate weddings!
Post # 12
Honestly, paying for the whole shebang ourselves really uncomplicated things.
Eloping would’ve been the ultimate lack of complication for us (my parents would’ve supported it, haha, and i doubt DH’s family would’ve complained too much) but we didn’t want to
Post # 13
We are struggling with this a bit, but the only thing that seems to help is to sit down together and reevaluate things. And honestly, the budget is a big help in keeping things uncomplicated.
Post # 14
Cutting things! Or drastically simplifying them… for example, I didn’t want to pay through the nose for centerpieces, so we’re just doing candles. Note that we are NOT doing flower arrangements ourselves. Yeah, we could do that, technically, but it doesn’t “uncomplicate” things, you know?