Post # 1
So I’m wondering what other people did about their rehearsal dinner. How did you decide the guestlist?
For the bridal party I am having his 2 sisters, he will have 6 groomsmen that are his friends (we have no brothers). Obviously the bridal party and their wives will be invited. My FMIL has invited all of their family friends that are coming to the wedding and her siblings. She has also told my FI to invite his college group of friends (another 10-12 people who are not in the bridal party). So between the bridal party, my parents, his friends and her friends & family there will be around 50 people. Our families have not met so my parents won’t know any of these people except me and my FI.
My FMIL has suggested that I invite up to 5 couples. I’m not sure what to do. Do I invite my parents siblings to come? If I do then I can’t invite any of my friends. But if I invite my friends it would make it worse for my parents and I don’t want to leave my parents on their own.
What would you do bees?
Post # 3
For ours, we are inviting our wedding party and their spouses/SO’s, our immediate families and OOT extended family (e.g., Grandparents, Aunts/Uncles, and Cousins). We are not inviting any of our friends outside of those who are in the wedding party as it will become too large. Right now we have about 40 guests for the rehearsal dinner…it seems big but it’s what everyone agreed on so I’m going with it!
In your situation, I would definitely invite your Aunts and Uncles. If you want to invite some of your friends, I would suggest to your FI that he brings 5 friends and you bring 5 friends. An extra ten of his friends seems excessive!
Post # 4
We are have our bridal party, their dates, and our immediate family only at the rehearsal dinner (plus the officiant). We are having a lot of OOT guests though that are coming in that day so after the rehearsal dinner we are hosting a welcome party. That way, we’re not having to spend as much on the rehearsal food as the reception but we still get an opportunity to see those guests.
Post # 5
we are only inviting people who are directly involved in the wedding (bridal party, flower girls and ring bearer, readers, parents). I figure everyone else will who wants to see the rehearsal will see it a the wedding! I think we will have about 30 people max
Post # 6
For ours we are inviting imidiate family (my parents, his parents and their spouces, my sister, and his sisters, their husbands/so’s and their kids) (20 people!) , the bridal party and their spouces (+4), whoever is involved in the wedding (officiant, guitarist) (+2).
In the end we decided to take out food (pizza from the place we were thinking of going to anyway) and provide the beverages at the venue. We will be having a lot of out of town guests and some others that offered to help set up the venue. I think that it would be rude to tell these people, especially the ones who are offering to help, that they can’t eat with us because our rehersal guest list is too large before we start adding other people.
Unless your FMIL is paying for the rehersal dinner I think it is a little much that she is inviting so many people. If the FIL’s are paying I would talk to them about how many people they are willing to feed.
Post # 7
Ours was simple: parents, grandparents, wedding party + dates (included our siblings), readers + dates, and our pastor.
Who is officially hosting/paying for the dinner?
Post # 8
Ours will be bridal party, bridal party SOs, immediate family, and officiant.
Post # 9
Our RD consisted of immediate family, of our BP and their SO’s, my grandmother (DH’s grandmother wasn’t coming to town until the next day), our officiant (my cousin was ordained to marry us) and my aunt and uncle (their kids/my cousins were our ushers & RB). We only had a few OOT guests that came in the day before but they did their own thing so we didn’t feel it was necessary to invite them to the RD.
In your situation, I would say that your aunts and uncles would trump inviting your friends that aren’t included in the BP.
Post # 10
@Beckster329: My FIL are hosting the rehearsal dinner and my parents are hosting the wedding.
@UpstateCait: That’s my gut feeling too, that I should invite my aunts and uncles. Good to hear someone else say it too.
Post # 11
I’m inviting the people that will be at the rehearsal. (The wedding party and their spouses) Parents and siblings. and the grandparents… that is all
Post # 12
We are only inviting the wedding party, their so/spouses, & their kids & then our parents, the minister, & photographer. (And probably a few extras who are helping set up)
Post # 13
Parents + grandparents, wedding party and dates, anyone else taking part in the wedding. There will be a lot of out of town folk, so we may have some sort of get together afterwards. We have plenty of time to figure that out, though.
Post # 14
We did – parents and grandparents, immediate family, wedding party and spouses (no dates for the single ones), ring bearers’ parents, officiant, DOC and spouse, soundman and spouse, and photographer and spouse. I think that’s it – So, only people who needed to be at the rehearsal, plus immediate family/grandparents
Post # 15
Did you all decide the guestlist with your FI or did your FILs make the list (if they were hosting)?
Post # 16
We’re paying for it ourselves (as we are paying for everything), so we wanted to keep it small. We are inviting everyone who is actually involved in the ceremony, and their SOs. We are holding our wedding (and rehearsal) in a farmhouse, and both of us have family staying at the farmhouse (it has 9 bedrooms). So everyone who is staying at the house is also invited. But my bridesmaids, as well as our readers, my aunt and his cousin, are also staying at the house, so it’s not like it’s adding too many people (though we are also inviting the aunt/cousin’s husbands and kids since they’re at the house). We will have around 30 people total, which is almost half the size of our wedding. Most of our guests will be coming from out of town, so inviting them would be like hosting 2 receptions, which just wasn’t going to happen. I hope to be able to meet at a bar near the guest hotel, after the rehearsal, and have a drink with everyone before retiring for my pre-wedding beauty sleep.
OP- If your parents are paying for it, then I think you are within your right to have you FI’s family trim their list. If FI’s family is paying, they pretty much get to set the rules (so long as they don’t set crazy rules that say no one on your side is invited).