Post # 1
I’m feeling the lonely sadness tonight bees.
As time wears on, I realize I have lost most of my good friends. They have basically all moved and while we keep in touch, it’s not the same with all those miles.
The couple female friends I do have left have kind of moved on in their lives to different things. One of them is in baby 2 and never around and the other, I still adore her but we’ve grown into such different people its hard to relate these days.
So how does a person go about finding some girls I can get to know and relate with? I’ve never really gone out hunting for friends. I’ve always felt kind of set in that department but not so much anymore 🙁
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat
Aw I am sorry you’re feeling that way. I feel that way sometimes too. My friends are all over the world now, or absorbed in their own lives. I just try to network a bit, go to the random events that I’m invited to, even if I only know one other person there. It’s like dating, really, and it can be tough! I’d say join a club, take a lesson in something, take a class at the gym, etc… branching out helps a lot.
Post # 4
I know how you feel.
I have a hard time letting friends into my life, female wise anyway. Every one I’ve had screwed me over some how, or ended up on heavy drugs [lost a few friends to meth].
It was just easier being a hermit, or only having guy friends.
But I get lonely sometimes.. and even though fi will talk with me about everything and anything, it’s just not the same, though?
I’m not really the go-out and do stuff type of person, so making friends is super hard from me.
Most of the ones that i’ve met were through work.
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia
I feel the same too. My friends and I are in different phases of life. I cannot relate to those who are on their 3rd or 4th child. Likewise, those who aren’t in relationships (oddly) find it tough to relate with me. I don’t understand why — they shouldn’t see me any different just because I can no longer be ‘reckless’ together at a club.
My best friend is all the way in Australia; we’re in different time zones though we do call each other often via Skype. It’s really tough to find people who can pick up where we last left off!! Funny thing is the people I am closest with actually rarely use Facebook.
So far, meetup.com seems to be refreshing-ish, for now. I generally join the cooking ones or connect with a ladies only meetup group. I realize that a lot of the friends I keep for life are the ones I met in college. The ones that I meet up are just acquaintances that fill the void. FI finds it weird, but I really don’t have much girlfriends in the city I live.
I kinda wish there was a meet-up group for WeddingBee in various provinces/states. 😛 I could fore-see lots of crafting and DIY parties. Tee-hee!
Post # 6
I think I’ve been through what you ate going through. I have a few friends in each of a few states. When I moved where I live now, I knew no one and made friends through work. I’d pick someone who seemed interesting, had a job I was interested in, or had lots of years with the company and I’d schedule a coffee to get to know each other better. If it seemed to go well I’d maybe make it a weekly coffee. I have had 4 of these turn into really good friends over the past 28 months. Other than work, I meet people at the barn where my horse is boarded. We have a built us shared interest. do you have any hobbies that you could use to meet people?
Post # 7
Add me to the list of ladies struggling with this. The vast majority of my friends live 800 miles away. And while I made some friends after college when I moved to my current city, it feels like a lot of them have cycled out of my life as we’ve gone through different stages. To be fair, I had a lot to do with it; there were points where I was depressed and fell out of touch with people. I wish I had done more to maintain those relationships.
However, I’ve made a couple of good friends while in business school. If school is an option for you and something you’d want to do, it can be a greet way to meet new girlfriends.
@Cynderbug: I love the weddingbee meetup idea! Now if only someone would take the initiative to start the groups…
Post # 8
Somtimes the local sections have meet ups.. but it’s not really as specific as i’d like.. like mine would be “midwest” with most of the meetups happening in chicago or indianapolis, which are 2 hours away for me!
They should add a feature to search by miles away from zip code, or let us create groups!
Post # 9
@lalalyanne: join a gym or grab a pass to a fitness studio! It’s really easy to make friends with people that see you at your sweaty swearing grunting worst.
Or try meetup.com and search for a hobby. I’ve never used it, but my friend found a book club for 19th century female authors on there! The club stopped meeting years ago but she has kept in touch with lots of ladies.
Post # 10
@lalalyanne: I second meetup.com, I’ve never been to an event but a lot of the people in my group of friends met each other through meetup. In a roundabout way meetup brought FI and I together – FI made friends with a guy at a meetup event, that guy met my girlfriend at another meetup event, my friend and the guy started dating and they introduced us. Our story should be on a meetup ad or something…
Post # 11
ugh i hate making friends as an adult.
I live in a small town, so i dont really have a ton of options. And all the Meet ups are for moms and stuff. i joined a club, and networked from there, making friends with people who know my team mates and stuff. But I still feel so alone.
I wish i was as good at making friends in real life as I am online! Most of my closest friends I met through Twitter or through a message board!
Post # 12
Try meetup.com, fitness classes, dance classes, book clubs, church, etc! I can completely relate since I moved across country last year.
Post # 13
What about a fitness class like water aerobics or a craft class?
Post # 14
Dont worry. I’m in the same boat! I did join meetup.com and met a few nice girls there with similar interests but no solid friendships formed yet. I’ve only gone to two meets.
Upper 20s suck. husband and I joke that I’ll have plenty of friends who want play dates when I’m a mom. Lol
Post # 15
Girl, I’m in the same boat! I had more friends than I knew what to do with in college and grad school, but that’s because I was basically handed a social network on a silver platter. Now that I’ve got my degrees and am back in my hometown, most of my friends from high school through grad school have moved to different places and/or are married with their own lives. My best friend is eight hours away, and she’s the one I talk to about everything. Add in the fact that I’m naturally an introvert, and it’s tough!
Right now I’m in a temporary situation living with my parents until I can generate enough business as a freelance writer to move closer to SO, but he lives in an even smaller town than my current place. Luckily, I’m already friends with the office ladies at his job and all his fellow park rangers, both male and female, along with their SOs. That will defintely make the transition easier. I also plan on joining a church, and it’s usually pretty easy to find women in Bible studies or Sunday schools. The only catch is whether they’re your age or old enough to be your mother, haha.
I’ve never tried Meetup.com, but I’ll give it a try once I move! Right now I mostly keep up with friends online, and most of them are guys. I need a couple of girl friends to hang out with so I don’t suddenly snap and go all girly-girl on SO!