Post # 1
FI and I had a situation yesterday whilst walking through the city in the late afternoon. As we passed two guys sitting on a bench (looked to be early 20s), one of them called out to me “Hey, wanna do a foursome” I didn’t respond, kept walking because really, stupid people like that don’t deserve a response of any kind from me.
Well, FI was very offended and stopped and said something to the guy and was about two seconds away from hitting the guy before I pulled him away and told him to keep walking. FI is NOT a violent person in any way shape or form – he was just so irate that idiots like them think they can make disrespectful comments to women and get away with it as no one ever stands up to them. I told him I wasn’t bothered as the only comments that ever bother me are comments that come from people who I actually care about – morons that I don’t know don’t have the power to affect me in any way with words.
Anyway, whilst I was touched that FI was so angry on my behalf, I made him promise that he would never do that again. We made an agreement that if I don’t react, he doesn’t react – and trust me, with all the crazies in the world, I will not be reacting to other people’s words! As I always tell my middle school students, words only hurt you if you let them.
It just got me thinking though, how do other people’s SO react when you’re disrespected? Do they let it it go or do they feel compelled to stand up on your behalf?
Post # 3
He’s said something smart-ass like “Now we can see why you’re here alone!”, and walks off. It’s only happened a few times while we were out playing pool.
Post # 4
He lets me handle it on my own unless I look to him for backup. I don’t like him immediately jumping into something if I can take care of it myself.
Post # 5
FI doesn’t do anything. It’s completely due to his personality. You could spit on him, and he would offer you a tissue. It makes him a lovely person, but it also gets really freaking annoying sometimes. 😛
Post # 6
He does nothing, if anything he takes it as a compliment. I dont respond, he doesnt respond so id doesnt encourage the guy or girl yelling things,
Post # 7
In a situation like that, I think it would depend on my FH’s mood, but unless it really upset me, he would probably ignore it. If someone repeatedly disrespected me, of course, he’d say something.
We were out with a group of friends one night, and an acquaintance kept grabbing my big toe. It was weird and I don’t know why he was doing it, but the first and second time he did it, my FH said firmly, “Don’t touch her” (and of course, I moved my foot). The third time, FH got pissed and said to this guy, “Don’t you fucking touch her again,” at which point he got the point and stopped. If he continued, we would have either left or something would have happened. My FH found his touching me when I didn’t want to be touched very disrespectful, and I appreciated him standing up for me because I didn’t want to have to make a scene.
So I guess point being that if something goes too far and if he needs to stand up for me, he will.
Post # 8
I wasn’t sure how to answer.. but he’s really level headed and can always diffuse the situation.
We were at the airport a few weeks ago and this big big guy was being super rude to the baggage claim people because it was taking a really long time for our bags to come up. He was seriously yelling at them and I tried to hold it in for a long time.. but I couldn’t help myself.
I said, “There were a lot of connecting flights, just relax, it’s not their fault”. From there it went to “Well I’m glad you’re so patient with these incompetent people”. Me, “They’re not incompetent.. they’re just trying to do their job”. Him: “I paid for first class and I expect first class service”. Me: “That doesn’t give you an excuse to act like an asshole.” He turned his anger on me, and it went on for a little while before Mr. R stepped in and put his arms up and said, “That’s enough, that’s enough..” And the guy just walked away.. Haha. Not sure how he does it.. 🙂
Post # 9
I baked my grandma a cake for her birthday celebration one year and decided to bake a different cake than the one I usually bake for family occasions. My FI knew how much care and effort I put into the cake, so when my outspoken (and sometimes rude) aunt commented that the cake was off and that I should’ve just stuck to what I was familiar with, my FI almost almost stood up at the table to tell her off. Thank goodness I grabbed his arm in time and he saw in my eyes that I didn’t want him to. He was able to get out a stern “Hey, she worked hard on this cake…”
I know I can be a bit of a wimp sometimes, so I’m glad he’s willing to defend me. I just didn’t want the rest of the night with the family to be awkward.
Post # 10
DH knows I can fend for myself, but neither of us usually wastes our time arguing with someone who’s just handing out random douchey comments. If someone offers us a direct challenge, though, we can both hold our own in an argument. There have been times when I’m glad I know he’s a black belt, though, just in case 🙂
Post # 11
In that situation would probably just keep walking and shake our heads at the idiot. I really can’t think of a time where something like this has ever happened so I have a hard time guessing, but DH isn’t really someone who I can see punching someone lol.
I do know that when I was doing an art fair last summer and he heard some people saying some things about my photos (not even super rude stuff… just like “Eh, I could do that” type comments) he got REALLY upset. But he still didn’t say anything because it just isn’t like him to get in people’s faces.
Post # 12
@KatyElle: Ditto – I like to handle it myself anyway (unless they’re big drunk and hairy)
Post # 13
He reacts – but it makes me mad. I’m a grown woman. 1. I can handle it on my own and 2. it’s certainly not worth getting macho about.
But I will admit that I’ve been in relationships before where guys have just stood back and done nothing and it’s made me question why I was in a relationship with them to begin with.
Post # 14
In that case FI probably wouldn’t do anything. He’s pretty rational person, it takes A LOT to make him mad (unlike me, hehe). Usually I will be the one exchanging words and he will have to step in to mellow the situation. The only time I have seen him react like that is when a guy at a concert knocked my camera out of my hands because it was “disrupting his view.” FI had some stern words with him to say the least.
Post # 15
One of my favorite stories…
A couple of years ago we were at a corn maze… and there were a bunch of teenagers throwing ears of corn over the tall stalks… they were just being annoying jackasses. But one ear of corn hit me in the face. It was so hard, I thought it was a rock!! Well my fiance took off like a bat out of hell screaming, “I’M GOING TO F*^$#KING KILL YOU!!!!!” He never did find the kids that threw the corn. But if he had, I really think he would have done some damage.
Post # 16
For me, the ultimate disrespect would be my boyfriend getting involved in a situation without asking me first. That’s a dealbreaker for me. I also wouldn’t date guys who think that my honor even exists, let alone needs protecting, or any guy who was quick to anger. Not my cup of tea.