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I brought this up to FI, and he says he's assuming his parents are going to want me to call them Mom and Dad, which I'm fine with, but it's going to feel a little strange in the beginning calling someone else besides my parents mom and dad.
*edit* we currently still call each other's parents Mr. and Mrs. because neither of us felt comfortable calling elders by their first name (probably a cultural thing). that pretty much limits us to mom and dad after marriage, or some term of endearment for it.
I have no plans to call my in laws mom and dad. They will be called by their first names. Just like I wouldn't want them to call me their daughter.... unless it was followed by 'in law'. :)
I call my FMIL by her first name. However, my FFIL I call in Tato. Tato is how you say dad in Macedonian and that is what I call him, his brothers' girlfriends call him and his mom even calls him that haha. But I would feel very strange calling them mom and dad, because they aren't my parents.
If it makes you feel weird, just call them what you feel most comfortable with.
I'll continue calling them by their first names! My mom and dad are my mom and dad, they're my FI's mom and dad. :)
I've only ever had to call his mom something once and I called her Ms. Herfirstname. I think it'd be more comfortable just calling his parents by their first names, but I was 18 when I met them, and I'm only 21 now so I feel kinda disrespectful calling them that.
I call them by their first names, sometimes mum and dad in law for jokes :)
I pretty much avoid calling them anything at all, because we've never really discussed what I'm supposed to call them, but I suppose if I had to call them from across a room or something, I'd go with first name.
I've called my in laws by their first names since the day I met them. I would never call them "mom" and "dad" because they're not my parents. I couldn't imagine ever calling my MIL mom. I think it would really upset my mother. You know, the one who raised me.
Good question! I'm thinking mom and dad but it might be weird to get right into it. I will probably keep on calling them Tita and Tito for a while which is what I call them now. Tita and Tito is like Aunt and Uncle in our language.
My SO and his father have the same name so I call his dad "Dad S*" and I call him mom "Momma Lough"
Mr. and Mrs. _______ .
I was raised to refer to the parents of your friends and your significant other as Mr./Mrs. Lastname. I would sooner call my future in-laws "Mom"/"Dad" than call them by their first names. Using first names just seems disrespectful.
Hmm I have no idea. In the 4+ years we've been together I've never spoken to his mom so I have no idea. His dad...while I don't call him anything to his face, to others I call him Dad #2 mainly because he always sends me awesome presents for birthdays and Christmas and just because.
Mister doesn't really call my parents anything either. He calls my dad "Jimbo" sometimes, but thats it.
@ThingsThatShine: Must be regional/cultural. No one that I know refers to their IL's by anything other than their first names. Growing up, certain friends parents were Mr. & Mrs. but now that we're all adults, everyone is addressed by their first names. My mom never wanted my friends to call her Mrs. _____. I guess we're just pretty casual.
I have no idea what I'm going to call them! I actually avoid calling them anything right now as well. They signed a christmas card for me last year with their first names but not the american-ized way and I'd feel so awkward calling them that unless I knew for sure thats what they want lol.
I wouldn't mind calling them mom and dad thought, they're the sweetest people in the world and i already consider them my second parents.
My FI's dad is no longer with us but his mom I call by her nickname. The weird thing is I call his grandmother "grams" and his aunt "aunt B". Its just weird how it worked out like that.
Am I the only one that calls my IL mom and dad? :) I do it out of respect.
I had a hard enough time calling them by their first names because I was raised to use "Mr. and Mrs." ALL the time, but I do call them by their first names now. I would never call them mom and dad! When I post on her facebook (if your in-laws aren't on your facebook, then thank your lucky stars right now!), I call her FMIL, haha.
Must be a cultural thing because where I'm from first names are the norm. Is sooner call them "hey you" than mum/dad because that would be incredibly disrespectful to my real mum/dad who, you know, gave me life. I've never heard of calling ILs "mr/mrs smith" except in American movies. Is never be able to do that, I don't call my professors, older colleagues/superiors or anybody like that mr/mrs so don't see why the ILs should get special treatment. Bob and Jane it is, tbh whether they like it or not (fwiw they haven't objected, to my knowledge)
I call my ILs by their first names. My FIL wanted me to call him dad but I really dont feel comfortable with it! Ive called them by their first names since my husband and I started dating!
I have always addressed them by their first names, so it's not changing after I marry their son.
I've only recently started using their first names. I know that I'll never be the type of person to call them "mom" and "dad".
I was brought up to address elders as Mr. and Ms. so I started out calling FI's parents Mr. and Ms. Last Name. They both told me to call them by their first names but in the very beginning I felt weird doing that so I ended up calling them Mr. Larry and Ms. Linda. Eventually, the Mr and Ms dropped off and I've been calling them Larry and Linda for a couple years now. It was just a natural progression for me.
I call them Mr. FirstName and Mrs. FirstName. I wouldn't dream of calling them anything else.
I called my FI's parents Mr and Mrs. LASTNAME only because that is what I was raised to do out of respect. The day after we got engaged, and went over there his dad said "now you have to stop doing something! stop calling us Mr. and Mrs. LASTNAME- those were MY parents, we're not that old yet =P "
It was all in good fun. They want me to call them FIRSTNAME only, and I'm trying to work my way into it.
I grew up hearing my mom always call my dad's mom, mom. and vice versa. Can't remember them calling the grand fathers dad but who knows. I definitely have no problem calling my future in laws mom and dad. they already call me their daughter, and they are a really close knit family. i dont think my parents would be disrespected at all, and i know they will think of my SO as their son once we get married. it's all a personal preference :)
My bf and I call each others parents by their first name and that's what I'm going to keep calling them, that's what makes me comfortable. Hell I call my own step-parents by their first names ("because you already have a mom/dad and im not trying to take their place") so im not about to suddenly start calling my in-laws "mom" and dad. I never thought of it before now but it would be pretty harsh to the people that married my parents and helped raise me if they arent called mom and dad but suddenly my in-laws were! 0_o
It probably partially depends on how tight everyone is - I call my future in-laws Mama B and Papa B; I call my own parents Mom and Dad so that's how I differentiate, because like several of the bees have already said, my mom and dad are my only mom and dad! If the in-laws are cool with it though, a term of endearment used for them is a nice gesture of love.
I think totally a regional thing. I'm a southern girl and have always called anyone who was not a peer Mr. and Mrs. but a lot of them were "Mrs./Mr. First name" and the more formal or less well known ones were "mr./Mrs. Lastname". However I do call his parents by their first names. He calls mine by Mr./Mrs. last name though.
His grandparents want me to call them "Granddaddy and Grandma" which I do when directly speaking to them, but when talking about them it is their first names too. I have grandparents, and they are already Papa and Grandma so it is a little weird to me to call somone else that. I would NEVER call IL's Mom and Dad. I have my own.
We've been married for over a year and I try not to call them anything!
I call my FIL's Ms. Firstname and Mr. Firstname. To me, the title of mom and dad are reserved for MY mom and dad. I don't expect my FI to call my parents mom and dad.
i chose "other" because i have yet to call FI's parents anything. I avoid it like the plague (for 2 years now) because i have no idea. FI's BIL calls them mr and mrs. and i don't know if that's just his thing or his parents thing. FI has no idea either and we just kinda avoid the issue mostly. FSIL calls her dad by his first name...which is also odd...so I don't really know how to address these people lol.
I'm thinking first names. I've always just called them Mr. Hislastname and Mrs. Hislastname but they prefer first names and once FI and I are married I'll feel more comfortable dropping some of the formality.
Right now I just call them by their first names. If they insisted, I would call them mom and dad.
I voted for the first names... and now I am thinking about it... I will... until we have kids.. and then I will call them Grandma and Grandpa hahaha :)
:)
@GeorgiaTeacup: I only have one mother and father. I have her in my phone as Deb-in-Law lol but I already call them by their first names so this will continue.
I call them by their first names because they asked me to. When I called my FMIL Mrs.___, she said that I wasn't a student in her class (she's a teacher) and her name wsa ___. It is a cultural thing -- where I grew up, it still is Mr. and Mrs. __...my FI still calls my dad Mr. _ after all these years.
I call my ILs by their first names (well, MIL by her first name and FIL by a nickname that everyone uses). DH calls my parents by their first names as well, but I think it makes him slightly uncomfortable.
MIL signs cards to us "Love, Mom & Dad/Herfirstname & Hisfirstname" as if to address us both. I don't think there's any expectation of me ever calling them Mom & Dad. My mom signs things only "Love, Mom & Dad." My mom has called my dad's parents "Mom & Dad" for 40 years, so she might be more apt to expect that from DH, but I don't think it's going to happen.
I use my IL's first names. Calling them "Mr. and Mrs." would feel like I was a little kid on a playdate again. And I only have one mother and one father, the ones who raised
My parents told DH he could refer to them by their first names, but he goes the avoidance route and doesn't call them anything because that's what he's most comfortable with.
I call them by their first names. They have asked me to. I would call them by whatever they asked me to. I would respect their wishes despite how I felt about them.
My mom would like DH to call her mom, but has never told him directly. He calls her by her first name. I know she is dissapointed.
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