Post # 1
I’d like to know early on what I’m going to get at my shower & what i’m not getting so Darling Husband & I can budget for all the things that will be left to us to buy on our own.
Also: my mom (who is throwing the shower) is a teacher so it has to be between mid-june (i’ll be 22w) and end of Aug (i’ll be 34w).
You don’t have to defend your answer will good reasoning; I just want opinions—its mostly just that I want to feel people out on what they think might be odd or taboo.
Post # 3
Anything before the third trimester is too early. I’d say best around 30-34 weeks. That way you can still do your shopping after the shower without feeling too heavy.
Post # 4
I was wondering the same thing!
Most of the showers I’ve been to have been third trimester, although if there’s some extenuating circumstance (like your mom’s availability) then I don’t think people would be scandalized attending an earlier one!
If you’re concerned about what you might receive, register at a big-box store that has a decent return policy and you can return gifts if you find that you need the money for something more necessary. A lot of places also give you a modest discount if you register there for future purchases.
But honestly, the best advice I’ve heard (although I’m not a mom myself yet, so take this with a grain of salt!) comes from the Young House Love blog:
Save It: 14 Tips For Saving Money When You Have A Baby
The gist of what they say is that babies don’t generally need that much when you first bring them home and if you’re strapped for cash, you can wait a little to see what the baby actually likes before buying it (some babies love the bouncy chairs; some babies hate it) AND because people will generally come out of the woodwork and offer you items to borrow or hand-me-downs. Check it out!
Post # 5
@BothCoasts: thats the thing….It’s ntt that we won’t be able to afford it its just that we want an idea so we can live accordingly. I don’t want to go on a little “babymoon” or summer trip and then realize 6 weeks later that we have to buy all the stuff on our registry by ourselves and opps-we already spent all our money. Ya know? I guess I just really like to know things in advance. P.S: I love this blog…..I remember being addicted to it before I ever got pregnant & then I lost it but you’ve just found it for me again-THANK YOU!
Post # 6
@TurtleDoves: i don;t know anything yet about when to have the shower, but maybe it would be best to assume you are buying everythng and then when you get stuff, it will be a bonus and you will have a surplus for when baby comes.
Post # 7
@dynamic_duo: haha—-sounds very logical actually. I don’t know why I didn’t just do this. I guess i’m too overly excited to think straight.
Post # 8
Out of convenience I had a shower at 27 weeks. It felt really early but it’s nice to have that out of the way now:)
Post # 9
I am having my shower at 23 weeks but it’s only because i moved to a new city and it was the only weekend my small group of friends could drive down/were available. my mother in law is also gonna throw me a skype shower on june 17th when i am 29 weeks.
Post # 10
I’d say anything after 28 weeks would be appropriate. I know there’s a lot of superstition out there and after 28 weeks, your baby has a 90% chance of survival – earlier than that and the odds go down significantly. That’s a bit of a morbid viewpoint of it but it’s one I hear commonly stated when people talk about when they’re planning their showers. On the other hand, I know two people who had showers planned for 35 – 36 weeks and ended up bringing their baby to the shower as it had arrived early!
If your mom has the whole summer off, I’d try the plan the shower towards the end of her break – right around the 30 week mark. As for budgeting – try and store away as much as you can now. Go in with low expectations for the shower and if the gifts exceed your expectations, you’ve got money stocked away for other things you’ll need to buy for the baby along the way. Win win all around!
Post # 11
I had a shower at 21 weeks and another at 22 weeks, it was the only time I would be in the United States during my pregnancy and my family and mother’s friends wanted to do something for me.
Post # 12
Most I would say are 30-32 weeks before. But my cousin lives about 8 hours away. Her and her hubby only have about 2 other “couple” friends so she had a shower at home. So she came up at exactly 5 months. Her option was 5 months or 8 months. So she had to do 5 months because the Dr said it’s really not good to be traveling that far away any later in the pregnancy.
But I definitely agree with what PurpleUnicorn said!! Thats how I plan my whole life pretty much lol! I know A LOT of people with babies and the biggest thing I have seen someone get were Pack & Play and Travel Symptoms (car seat/stroller combo set) since those can run like $180 @ the cheapest and all the way up to like $300. My mom got my travel system and my aunt my Pack & Play. But as another bee said… you can buy some stuff used because it is 99% useless to buy new lol! Like onesies & socks-pointless to buy ALL new because you go through a LOT of em!! Hahaha!
Post # 13
I think I was about 32 weeks when I had my shower; It’s hard to remember now. I was due April 2nd, but because I was paranoid of an early delivery, we had it at the beginning of February since I could have hypothetically gone into labor the middle of March. I, of course, didn’t have her until April 1st, haha. I’d say wait until the third trimester, at least.
Also, at my shower, I didn’t get many big ticket items. Someone loaned us a bassinette and a swing [godsend]. My parents got me the glider for her room, the stroller, and the car seat. His parents got me the crib and mattress. All the other guests that weren’t about to become grandparents got things like clothes, toys, a baby bath tub, books, etc. I would just be prepared for a lot of little things. Honestly, my best gift was a “first aid” basket. It had tylenol, motrin, desitin, thermometer, etc. I was so excited because it was all the stuff that you wouldn’t think of until you’re up in the middle of the night with a sick baby [and yes, get tylenol and motrin since most pediatricians recommend switching between the two to reduce fevers].
Post # 14
I’ve been to over 40 showers in the past 10 years and MOST of them have been in the 3rd trimester. One was at 5 months and another at 6 months b/c the mother didn’t want to be TOO big at her shower.
Most of the women I’ve known purchased the bigger items on their own or their parents bought…crib, bedding, stroller, car seat. All the other items were on their registry and for the most part, they got a few “bigger” items…swing, bouncer, high chair. Also in my experience, when the parents told everyone the sex of the baby, they got mostly clothes. Which really sucks b/c the parents, grandparents like to buy baby clothes too.
Post # 15
I think you can have it whenever you want, and I don’t understand the logic behind a minimum number of weeks you must be to have your shower.
I do agree with @BothCoasts though that most people don’t need the majority of what they will get at a baby shower right away. You need diapers, wipes, bottles, formula (if you are not breastfeeding), a car seat, onesies, sleepers, maybe a swaddle sack (we had them but my daughter never used them), blankets, a baby tub, diaper cream, baby soap, and some place for the baby to sleep, whether it’s a crib, bassinet, or pack n play. Except for the car seat and the place to sleep, all the stuff above is pretty damn cheap. You can buy a 5 pack of onesies or a three pack of sleepers for under $10. A $20 package of diapers lasted us a week in the beginning. A $20 case of formula lasted 4 days.
My daughter just started playing with toys around 5 months. She started sitting in her bouncy seat around 2 months. She used her swing around 2-3 months. We used her boppy once or twice. My best friend gave me her breast pump (around $300, plus $40 for new tubing and cups) and I used it for 10 days before conceding defeat. We bought her a bumbo chair and she absolutely hates it.
So, what I’m getting at is, you will have plenty of time to budget for what you need eventually whether you have the shower now or three months from now, because even after he or she is born it might be several months before you need any of the big ticket items.
Post # 16
@dynamic_duo: i don;t know anything yet about when to have the shower, but maybe it would be best to assume you are buying everythng and then when you get stuff, it will be a bonus and you will have a surplus for when baby comes.
^^ Definitelty this! This is how I did planned things and it worked out beautifully because for every gift I received, it meant I also had a little “bonus” in my bank account which comes in very handy with a newborn.
Plus, not to be a downer, but having a little extra built up is a good idea just in case the baby is sick or you have any complications/issues.