How far in advance do I start planning the bridal shower?

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

ksn1219:  I’d say setting a date and a group of hostesses 7 months before the wedding for a shower that will take place approximately 2 months before the wedding is fine. You’re not going into huge detail, just chosing a date, hostesses and figuring out what the budget will be. This way, if any other groups pop up wanting to throw a shower, the bride knows what’s on the schedule and can make sure that the parties are spaced and not all lumped together.

Post # 3
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

 

ksn1219:  I would kind of be offended if someone else jumped in with their mother and asked if they could plan something that I should be doing. I also don’t get where they are saying you need to have the shower 2 months before-hand…I’m in a wedding in October, and we’re having her shower/bachelorette two days before the wedding (granted, most of us are coming in from out of state, but still…).

For now, to ease things over, you could talk with the rest of the bridesmaids about a setting a date, which you should be able to figure out fairly quickly. Once you have done that, let the bride know. Then you can proceed with all of the planning. Sorry, but I think most everyone you mentioned in your post are overreacting.

Post # 4
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Well yeah they’re being a little pushy. But setting who is going to throw the shower, expectations, and a possible date isn’t unreasonable at this point I guess. 

Post # 5
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee

You’re lucky. If they want to takeover, they can pay for it and make the decisions. Tell the bride the bachelorette is as much as you can handle right now. 

Some people have showers more than 2 months before the wedding, depending on people’s schedules and traveling. My daughter’s shower was booked at a popular restaurant last November, for Easter weekend – at the request of the groom’s family, who has to travel. An e-mail went out, to all the ladies who would be invited, telling them the date, because a lot of her friends are nurses, and are scheduled to work weekends. The wedding is in August; no one wanted to schedule it over the summer, because of vacation schedules, and the bride has grad. school finals and her own vacation, in May. 

Post # 7
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee

 

ksn1219:  If you put up a poll up, that asks “is it normal to have 3 bridal showers,” you might get 0 people responding that it is. Some have friends vs. family, maybe work and church. Most people would be offended, if they’re invited to more than one – enough is enough! With 9 bridesmaids and a demanding MOB, all I can say is Good luck! 

Post # 8
Member
588 posts
Busy bee

ksn1219:  You absolutely had plenty of time. 2 months before the wedding and a month before that to send invitations out, means you really wouldn’t need to be started for a few more months anyway. I’m planning a shower for a friend, and the only thing I did at your stage – around 7 months out – was pick a day that worked for her, me, and her FMIL (because she has an insane travel schedule) because I needed to book a venue. 

The bride and BM all sound a little pushy to me, but this means you get to focus on a super fun bachelorette party. I gather if you’re the only one over 21, the bride’s social circle is rather young. I think they just didn’t realise checking with the MOH before taking over shower planning was the polite thing to do.

Post # 10
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

 

ksn1219:  Definitely understandable that her behavior is putting a strain on your relationship. Her super young age may have something to do with it  (no offense), but that’s no excuse to act like a brat.

Post # 11
Member
6273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

 

ksn1219:  my shower was in august for an october wedding.  my girls asked for my guest list about 2 months before that.  (though my engagement was only 7.5 months)

invitations should go out 4-6 weeks before the shower.

Post # 12
Member
38 posts
Newbee

I started planning a shower a year in advance. The bridal party came up with a theme and we went from there- to space out costs and such. We then got a solid date about 6 months out because the bride was attending many other weddings that year and it was what day worked best from her.

I’ve always been the type to plan far in advance. And in this case I’m incredibly grateful I did! I ended up planning and hosting 2 more showers within one month of each other.

Invitations went out 1.5 months in advance- as some invites had to leave out of country

Post # 14
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Sounds a little demanding. These pre-wedding parties are OPTIONAL anyway and to be volunteered by the host, not pressured by the bride or the bride’s mom.

But, 7 months out is probably a good time to start thinking about it or soon. For mine, my MOH started thinking about it at around 5 months out from wedding and started really getting details together/places booked around 4 months out. That actually ended up being a little late because the venue she wanted was booked on the date she wanted. So to be sure you get the date and place you want, it’s a good idea to do it a bit earlier than mine did. 

Post # 15
Member
588 posts
Busy bee

ksn1219:  Oh dear, good luck with this one! Someones the most wonderful friends can turn a little bridezilla in the end. 

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