(Closed) how far in advance should you ask your bridesmaids?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
9057 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I asked my bridesmaids right after I got engaged, so 9 months before the wedding.  If she doesn’t have high expectations for her bridesmaids prior to the wedding, she may wait a little longer, but I would think she’s probably asked hers already.

Post # 4
Member
2205 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I asked my bridesmaid about 7 months out (3 weeks or so after the engagement)

but sometimes when you’re still figuring out wedding details, the bride may not know how big of a wedding party she wants, etc.  I wouldn’t be too concerned.  I think up to 6 months is still plenty of time.

Post # 5
Member
516 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I asked about a year in advance. I wish I had waited a little bit longer 🙁

Post # 6
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I asked my MOH (my sister) and one BM (my BF of 14 years) right after I got engaged. But I have 3 more BMs that I am planning on asking that I just haven’t done yet (and I am already about a year into planning!). I have a little over a year left but I have definitely been putting this off. I’m so busy with school that I wasn’t planning on asking anyone until I really get into the meat of planning. Plus, while I would love them to, I really am not expecting my BMs to do much in terms of helping to plan. So it’s not like I need them to do much more than show up the day of. I figured that I’d get around to asking soon. I think I’m also having difficulty deciding who the other 3 will be. I wanted to just keep it as my MOH and BF because there are way more than 3 people who I could ask to be my other BMs and I figured just my absolute closest people would not offend anyone. But then my FI wanted a huge wedding party on his side (he has a ton of friends, while I have a ton of family). I had to limit his choices to 5!

Post # 7
Member
835 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

i asked as soon as i got engaged, but… i had a pact with my bffs from childhood to have them (think sisterhood of the traveling pants) so i was very happy to give them the thumbs up…but my FI has not yet…. so i think people r diff….could be she is waiting on one certian persons friendship status…maybe they r on the rocks and she is waiting to ask u all till this clears, or she is waiting till her FI decided how many he wants, there r so many reasons people wait. FI is waiting cause he dont know which fella yet will be best man….

Post # 8
Member
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think you can really wait til about 6 months out. I wish I had waited longer!

Post # 9
Member
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011 - Anthony’s Fine Dining

I asked mine as soon as I got engaged (20 months out!) but all of them are still in grad school and I know being a bridesmaid is a huge financial committment.  I wanted to make sure they had enough time to save and we had enough time to shop around for the best deals!

Post # 10
Hostess
13662 posts
Honey Beekeeper

@Miss Peace: Why do you wish you’d waited longer? Just curious.

Post # 11
Hostess
13662 posts
Honey Beekeeper

We got engaged with over 2 years till the wedding. I waited till about a year and a half away.

Post # 12
Member
2205 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I asked my girls WAY early! But most of them have to travel so they were actually happy to know so that they could make travel plans. And, since they are farther away, we can only meet up certain times so it’s working out.

Post # 14
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I asked my bridesmaids immediately after I got engaged in Dec 2008. Big mistake! A lot of distancing can happen if you have a long engagement. It’s been particularily hard since many live in different cities.

Post # 15
Member
360 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Ugh, I asked mine pretty soon after the engagement, and I totally wish I had waited. One is amazing, and is my MOH. My other bridesmaid is a good friend, but I regret asking her to be in it…Im actually having to kick her out, and ask someone else to be in it instead. Luckily I have about 4 months till the wedding.

I would totally wait longer if I had to do it again.

Post # 16
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I asked all my BMs probably within a month after getting engaged. Two of them (at the time) lived out of town, so I was trying to give them ample time to get prepared. But, my choices were pretty much no-brainers, so it wasn’t too hard for me. 

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