How far is too far? And other ceremony related questions.

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@crackktheskyy:  I live in LA so I have the same issue with ceremony vs reception venues. I personally was trying to find something VERY close… like a 20 minute drive, knowing that might actually mean 30-40 mintues in traffic. 30-60 minutes seems excessive to me. 

Do you have to be married in a church? Is there a park or garden near your reception venue? Is there someplace on the reception grounds you could get married? The venue we ended up going with has a big open field on either side, so they set up chairs there for ceremonies. My cousin got married in a rather small indoor space. They set it up for the ceremony, then we all moved to the bar for a “cocktail hour” and then moved back into the same space which now had tables and chairs. 

Post # 5
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@crackktheskyy:  Well… other Catholics will probably want to beat me for this but….

There are former Catholic priests who will do a “catholic” ceremony pretty much anywhere. Google “rent a priest”. They are generally priests who have left the priesthood to get married or something. I went to a wedding with one once and it was the same as any non-mass Catholic ceremony. That might appease your FMIL if she isn’t terribly knowledgable. I was SUPER Catholic at the time and it irked me… but I was like really crazy Catholic!

Post # 7
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@crackktheskyy:  If you do want to get married in a Catholic church, the line to give is:

“This is a new beginning in our lives, and it’s the right time to come back to the Church.”  This will work, more often than not.

Post # 8
Member
79 posts
Worker bee

@crackktheskyy:  Are you Catholic? And did you try larger churches or your FMIL’s church?

My Catholic friend married a non-Catholic in a Catholic church, without a mass. So it’s still not the same, but they were still inside the church.

My FI and I are in a similar situation (both living in different states with the wedding in a third state) and FI’s parent’s church has no problem with us marrying there as long as we bring all our paperwork and do pre-Cana classes (doesn’t have to be at that parish). We both are Catholic though. 

To answer your question, I think >30min is too far but it’s all relative. Some places you can’t go anywhere in that time! 

 

Post # 9
Member
1193 posts
Bumble bee

@crackktheskyy:  You should investigate different churches. Sometimes they will let you get married there even if you aren’t a member, especially if you have family that attends. Maybe thats an option?

Post # 11
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@crackktheskyy:  That varies from parish to parish; it seems they are much more difficult to deal with in the US.  I don’t really understand it; it’s not particularly consistent (nor pragmatic) not to welcome people home to the Church, but I digress.

Post # 13
Member
79 posts
Worker bee

@crackktheskyy:  I hope you can find something! I have been concerned about the “approval from home parish” thing. I have always attended church regularly but I never registered with any of my parishes. So as far as they are concerned, I don’t exist but I have “being a student” as an excuse if it comes up.. I think. 

Post # 14
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Wow, that sounds really frustrating.  🙁  FWIW, I once attended a wedding where the ceremony and venue were maybe 40 minutes apart.  They gave everyone plenty of time in between.  I wanna say it was like 2 hrs.  I didn’t think it was a big deal at all, but I guess I’m pretty laid back. 

IMO, if that’s what you have to do to make it work, then do it.  If people are put out by it, then that’s their problem.  I mean, yeah, you want to accomodate your guests but you have to draw the line somewhere. 

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