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How far is too far(kinda long)....?

posted 2 years ago in Parties
  • poll: How should I handle the shower situation?
    Stick to my guns!! : (7 votes)
    100 %
    Give in AGAIN and have 2 showers : (0 votes)
    crawl into a ball and cry like a baby...and have no shower : (0 votes)
  •  
    1.
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    44 posts
    Newbee
    chicky    07-24-10   Toledo, Oh

    I am extremely frustrated a tthis point. I moved to my FI's town about two years ago and we are planning our wedding here. This is fine, but the distance for my family AVERAGES 2 hours. I have heard no complaints about this whatsover. Now my MOH is in the process of planning my bridal shower. SHe lives about an hour from here and is planning it in her town (at my request) due to the fact that it is the halfway point for most ppl. The shower will be in May so no major weather issues should be a concern. I talked with my MIL today about this and she is upset saying it is too far for the ppl in this area to drive and not to even bother sending them invites b/c she doesnt want them to feel obligated to send a gift.

    She would prefer 2 showers. I DO NOT. Aside from the wedding I also have a very busy summer with other obligations. I do not think it is too much to ask for ppl to drive this distance on an early Sat. afternnon in May. It takes 20 min. just to get across town. I feel if this is too far of a distance then any distance would be too far and they prob. just don't want to come. It is no concern to her that my family is driving such a distance for the wedding. I think we should send out invites and let ppl decide for THEMSELVES whether or not it is an inconvenience. I understand some ppl may not want to come and that is ok. But I think this is reasonable and gives ppl an opportunity to get to know each other before the shower.

    Am I crazy???These kind of issues seem to continue to be a problem when things arent done the way she thinks they should be. I am trying to be respectful I just often feel it is not reciprocated or when it is it is not sincere. Just need a little clarity on this issue.

     
    2.
    Member
    1,398 posts
    Bumble bee
    Miss Sapphire    December 2009   Seattle

    Our wedding shower was 45 minutes away from where most of the guests lived and they delt.

    Bottom line for me at least:  if she doesn't want to come, she doesn't have to come.  

     
    3.
    Member
    4,019 posts
    Honey bee
    jennifer_espos    June 18, 2010   NYC

    I think you're right.  I don't think you're being unreasonable.  An hour drive isn't a terrible inconvenience at all.  Your FMIL should allow the invited guests to decide if they'd like to attend and if not, they have the right to decide if they'd like to send a gift.  She's being a bit rigid.  Obviously she's annoyed (and not rightfully so) that it's out of town so she chose to say something that would bother you.  In the end, you can't please everyone.  And when it comes to your shower, its not your issue,  Tell her you're going to let your peeps plan it as they'd like and whatever happens, happens.

     

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