(Closed) How far should the wedding be from a family birthday party? (traveling for both)

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: How far apart should two family events be if they require traveling?
    1 week : (2 votes)
    11 %
    2 weeks : (1 votes)
    5 %
    3 weeks : (2 votes)
    11 %
    1 month : (7 votes)
    37 %
    More than 1 month : (5 votes)
    26 %
    Doesn't matter : (2 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5993 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    you cant get married on august 10th, thats my birthday dammit!

    Tongue Out

    maybe grandpa would be happy to share his birthday with his grandaughters wedding anniversary???  i wouldnt have a problem if one of my family got married on my birthday – are there plans for something special to celebrate his birthday?

    Post # 4
    Member
    7587 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    At least a month. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    3121 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I’m not voting because I don’t think my opinion fits.  I don’t think it matters.  After this year, your anniversary won’t be for others to celebrate…it will just be for the 2 of you.  I think you should go with the date you want.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2849 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @Mars62312:  I agree with this. I think you should add a poll option called “doesn’t matter.”

    Post # 7
    Member
    188 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I vote 1 week because… it’s a WHOLE week! Sooner or later… someone in your family will be born on or around your anniversary. It’s inevitable.

    Now… if you’re saying he’s having a HUGE shindig this year… then that’s another story. Depending on how much time people can take off and how many times they can take off time it might be better to do it closer and kill two birds with one stone. On the other hand, if people can only travel to one or the other then you might want to rethink to another month when people can recouperate. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    1994 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I’m with @MilksMom. I don’t think it really matters.  As an adult, I don’t really place my birthday celebrations at that high of a  priority. I wouldn’t care if someone close to me planned a wedding on/close to that date. I would assume many of my family members would feel the same way.  

    Post # 9
    Member
    7587 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    @SincerelyShe:  

    @tehlilone:  

    I didn’t view the date as the issue. I viewed the family having to travel as an issue. i wouldn’t want to travel 2 weeks in a row. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    2233 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @Mars62312:  I understood this as how far should they be so that everyone can attend the 90th birthday celebration & their wedding.. nothing at all to do with the anniversary. 

    Normally I would say it doesn’t matter but that’s a milestone birthday that I am assuming your whole family will be attending so you don’t want to put pressure on them to attend both events in a short time period. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    1306 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I noticed your wedding is not until 2013. In that case, I would book your wedding either 2 months before or after grandpa’s birthday. Maybe even three months (May is a great month to get married! It was my first choice, but I am in school now and it is SOOOO hard to find time)

    Anyway…some family may have financial hardships so they can’t make it within a week or even a month. Others may have difficulty taking so much time off to travel (at least a 3 day weekend) so close together.

    Post # 13
    Member
    450 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    We are in the middle of this ourselves. My favorite Aunt just turned 80 on January 30. Her 4 siblings 3 of which had to travel as few as 300 miles and as many as 600 miles all were down for a surprise party.

    Our wedding is March 25.

    May 6 is our family reunion and this year is the 30th.

    Due to all of this, I have 1 aunt/uncle coming from 300 miles away. 2 sets of cousins traveling from 300 miles away. Then I have the family from right here where we live that will be attending our wedding. Everyone else will be at the reunion. Everyone knew our wedding date last April, as Mike proposed the first night of our reunion last year, and the weekend for the wedding was picked out the next day.  I am not upset about this, as I really understand how expensive it is to travel, and with fuel prices going up all the time, that doesn’t help matters at all.

    Heck, it was even suggested that we get married at the reunion, and if it was in a town that I liked, I might have gone with that, but it is not.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1994 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    Thanks for clarifying, but I still don’t think that it’ll matter much. Will this even be a problem for most of your guests? The ones who do want to attend both events will just plan for it. I suppose it would be courteous to maybe wait a couple weeks, so that you’re not demanding 2 weekends in a row of your family’s time.  But, I honestly doubt it matters all that much. If I were a guest attending both, I really wouldn’t care if they were 2 weekends in a row as long as I had adequate notice of each event. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    188 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I think my original answer still answers your clarification.

    If I’m going to attend two events, would it be better to

    A) Home –> 1 Weekend in Tennessee –> 1-3 weeks Home –> 1 Weekend in Missouri

    B) Home –> 1 Weekend in Tennessee –> Week Vacation with family –> 1 Weekend in Missouri –> Home 

    C) Home –> 1 Weekend in Tennessee –> 1-3 months Home –> 1 Weekend in Missouri

    Personally, if family can do it I’d take a 10 day vacation and save heading home in between rather than 2 weekends within a few months of each other… but that’s just me. I’m not sure if everyone can do that.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2416 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I would say either do it the following weekend so people can take the entire week off of work or wait over a month…especially if many people will have to fly versus driving.

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