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I think it all depends on where you are from but I would probably skip either the ceremony or reception instead of driving an hour in between.
Personally, I think the hour+ drive is asking too much of your guests, especially given the potential for traffic disaster. Sounds like unfortunately you are going to have to make some sort of concession somewhere, be it guest list size or venue. We can't have everything, sadly.
It would probably be do-able to have it the way you want it, but I would expect that a lot of people would only attend one event or the other unless they're really close to you. Could you do an early wedding and only invite those closest and/or those that would probably not drive to the reception and then do a later reception at the other place?
I would honestly try to find a venue that's doable close to the church. I would be really tempted to skip the ceremony if I were a guest and knew about the possibility of getting stuck in the tunnel (sounds like the Hampton Roads area of Virginia).
Do you think you can afford to rent a shuttle bus to take your guests? It would depend on your budget and the # of guests, I suppose. If I don't have to drive that 1 hr, I would be happily to hangout on the bus with friendly ppl for an hr.
The tent isn't really out... but now I'm hitting a brick wall on where to even place the darn thing! If a tent could work out that would be my ideal! Stay close, pitch the tent and that's it ;-) I've done quite a few tent weddings but each are so different and depending on the location is even more different. I'm tempted to ask the church if I can pitch the thing on church grounds :-0
Agree with Kittyachi that it sounds like you're going to have make a concession somewhere. I would not be thrilled with driving an hour, and depending on where your OOT guests are staying, they would potentially have to drive 1 hour from the reception area to the ceremony and then back to the reception.
i know this is going to go over badly, but i would probably skip your ceremony (and have skipped ceremonies), if the drive is anything more than 25 minutes and the break between the 2 is any more than 2 hours. Sorry!!!
I know brides hate to hear this (and will likely call me tacky), but as a guest, Im not going to jump through hoops to attend. If there are long breaks, significant drives, potential traffic and/or parking disasters, I will only be at the reception...unless your like my BFF.
Do you have alot of guests coming from OOT? if yes, then they might not mind a big break. They can explore the city.
I actually think that your idea of pitching the tent on church grounds is ideal! I have thoroughly enjoyed the weddings I've attended with reception onsite... i.e. ceremony & reception both in same hotel, ceremony in church & reception in tent on grounds. My own reception was less than one mile away and I loved that. It helped me not feel guilty about how many pictures we took on site after the ceremony because I knew as soon as we were done, we could head to the reception without a long commute.
With so many guests, I wouldn't risk the drive AND the dreaded tunnel. It sounds really inconvenient for your guests... I would try my darndest to find a closer reception venue.
@FutureMrsMorgan: You're not a terrible person haha. I'm about to skip a ceremony next month because it's just too difficult to get between the two. I don't drive (live in Manhattan) and the ceremony and reception are in two different states about 45 minutes away from each other. No way I could take the train to two different places. I'm heading straight to reception.
There's no massive beachhouse to rent and pitch a tent in front or on the beach?
A friend did this and a lot of the wedding party and family stayed in the house, it wasn't a wedding I attended but everyone seemed like they had a lot of fun.
Thanks for all the input, bee's. You're right, it stinks to know that though ;-) I think it also depends on the area. I.e. In Texas driving an hour isn't a big deal.... here... it's considered "really far." Back to the drawing board.
Hotchildinthecity brings up a good point regarding out of town guests. While a long commute can be difficult for local guests, it's even more difficult for out of town guests. We had guests from NYC who don't drive who relied on other guests to get them the one mile to our reception. We also had 12 family members fly in together from out of state and rent a 15 passenger van to get around. Who knows what modes of transportation your out of town guests might be utilizing... i.e. trains, rented vehicles, etc. The more complicated the commute, the more frustrating their experience will be.
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So, The church is a non-negotiable. It doesn't make sense to do it in any other church, it's the one we both attend, it's where we met, where he asked me on our first date... it's just a non-negotiable.
Problem, I hate all the venues near it! Ugh, I can't stand them and it seems my orig. plan of renting a beach house for a tented reception is out of reach... i.e. not allowable for the size of our wedding. People are important to us so we're looking at a large wedding 200+ which x's out any of the tolerable venues around here. I REFUSE... under no circumstance to hold a ballroom reception. I'm a wedding vendor and I just don't want to be thinking of other weddings, only about my own. So I want someplace I don't go to all the time. Which makes this even more difficult.
The dilemma... I love so many of the venues out of my city! This one town specifically has about 3-4 venues I would be thrilled to have my wedding at. Distance? 45-60min+ from the ceremony and it's got a tunnel in-between that any given idiot's moment get's shut down for hours.... It's common for me to hear "bride, your ___ is stuck in the tunnel and running late, should we hold the ceremony." I don't want that to happen for my reception, ya know.... And with 200+ guests renting busses is financially not doable. That would cost more than the venue... not to mention how slow they are ;-) if it wasn't for the tunnel I'd be more open to it, but I'm torn because some of these venues are a dream...
I'm hitting a brick wall on venues locally... Of course, anyone I know with property that would be AWESOME for a wedding is even further away....
Ideas?