Post # 1
After a very dissappointing dress appointment at David’s Bridal a few months back, I recently started dress shopping again. The fiance and I had aimed to keep the dress as reasonably priced as possible and my goal was to keep it under $1200. My mother then offered to buy my dress, and gave me a budget of $2000. I didnt think this would be an issue, until I found THE dress. Its absolutely everything I had ever wanted in a dress. Except it is $2400.
I am really strugging with spending double what I had originally intended on spending, plus alterations. My fiance doesnt think its unreasonable to do so as he sees the cost as being $400 + whatever the alterations cost is. I wouldn’t feel nearly as bad, but I know my mother doesn’t have an extra $2000 laying around, and that this is a stretch for her.
So Bees, what would you do in this case? Am I being unreasonable in wanting this dress? Did you go over budget on your dress?
Post # 3
@FutureMrsA2014: Can you find it preowned?
Post # 4
My personal opinion is that the dress is one of the least consequential purchases you’ll make for your wedding. It’s important to find something that you feel beautiful in, but there are so many options at so many price points and I don’t think you need to go over-budget to find a truly beautiful gown. That said, I do know that many people have strong preferences and do regret not having the perfect dress. Do you think you’ll be able to set it aside, or do you think it’ll continue to be important to you?
You might be able to find the dress pre-owned, on the various wedding dress sites, or ebay or craigslist (which are usually cheaper). You could also sell it after the wedding if you aren’t attached to the idea of keeping it. Are there any designer trunk shows near you coming up? You can often get a modest discount.
Post # 5
Can you find it at a trunk show?
If not, and it is YOUR dress, I would let your Mom pay the deposit, and pay the $400 before the final sum is due. Just so it isn’t uncomfortable!
Post # 6
Maybe post a photo so the bees can help you find a similar dress for cheaper?
Post # 7
I was in the same exact predicament as you! Let me tell you now that I was set on my dream dress the vera wang Ethel and couldn’t afford to buy it brand new. I purchased preowned which was a horrible eexperience because the dress was in horrible condition and the seller lied saying it was in excellent condition. I purchased another dress because I decided to settle and was not completely happy, which I am selling Enzoani Dakota. two 2 weeks before my wedding I went on a limb and decided to try again and purchase my Vera wang Ethel. The seller was honest and the dress was in excellent condition looked completely brand new!!! I felt soooo amazing in that dress and could not have been happier! it’s one day and my fiancé was the same way with the budget, I went way over double, but in the end he said i could buy the dress of my dreams because he knew how happy I would be. Our wedding was just 2 weeks agi and He tells me all the time that he’s so happy I got the dress of my dreams!!!
Post # 8
I am in that same predicament, same budget, same exact price, right now!! Our wedding is less that 6 months out and I STILL haven’t decided AND haven’t been able to find it preowned (Pronovias Urdiel). Sigh. Good luck!
Post # 9
I would say you should go for it and cut back from other parts of the wedding. Can you cut a little on flowers or other extras? Can you plan to take it out of your wedding money gifts by putting it on your credit card and paying it off with wedding gift money after the wedding? I know it’s a lot to spend and it’s hard to justify, but I think if you found your dream dress it might be hard to find something else that compares after that.
Also, you can resell after and recoop some of the cost, if you are ok with that. You can save your veil and jewelry and have the photos as memories – don’t need the dress lying around.
Post # 10
Can your mother afford the $2000 or do you think she is really stretching herself to be able to do something nice? If your mom is offering the $2000 because she really can give it to you, then use her $2000 and $400 from your original dress budget, and you can pay for alterations from that same original dress budget.
Post # 12
@star_dust: I don’t honestly think she can afford it but when I asked her about it she essentially told me thats not for me to worry about.
@BrandNewBride: I just checked the designers website and there is no trunk shows for her in Canada. 🙁
@happilyengaged4: were not having a very extravagant wedding and were already cutting out about 20 people to make it more affordable.
I don’t think the extra $1200 ourselves. I just don’t want my mom to feel obligated to pay the whole $2000, even tho I am confident she will insist. We are going to look at more dresses next weekend so I will probably have a better idea after that.
Post # 13
@FutureMrsA2014: I think you could find a very similar dress at a better price point, so hopefully having the dress pick will help those women who are savvy dress finders! 🙂
I felt the same was you do about the dress when I was picking out my e-ring, but I don’t think I could spend over-budget on the dress since it really is a one day purchase, & there are so very many beautiful dresses at varied prices available.
My paid $230 for my $1000 dress, but if I hadn’t got that deal, I would have lowered my dress standards or found something different. You will be so shocked at how much you will need that money for other wedding purchases.
Post # 14
There are a ton of dresses out there that are that shape and that are lace. Keep looking – I think you can find something similar for cheaper!
Post # 15
@FutureMrsA2014: I was VERY careful not to try ANY dresses on that were over budget. That was rule #1. Remember that it’s NOT just the cost of the dress, it’s also SALES TAX and ALTERATIONS. In my area, sales tax adds another 10% (which for your $2400 dress would add $240). Alterations can add up to another $600–or more, depending on what you need! That puts you as much as $2000 or more over budget–not $1200!
I’d recommend you look for it pre-owned, or keep looking for another dress that has what you want. There are many designers that are in your budget. Maggie Sottero, for example, has many dresses around that range. My Maggie Sottero “Emma” gown was $1295…but again, that does NOT include tax or alterations…but my budget was $2000.
Post # 16
@FutureMrsA2014: what about these from Dessy:-
I know your original dress has a flower but you can easily find a flower sash on Etsy. I’ll try to find more dresses when I am more awake tomorrow. 😉