Post # 1
Has anyone had experience being one before? I have not. I am getting married next summer and asked a friend from law school to be my Maid/Matron of Honor. She said she wants to meet for dinner and talk about it, which I am thinking means she doesn’t want to. I am not doing any DIY projects or anything like that. Really, all I expect her to do is get the dress, show up and stand beside me. She will be studying for the bar exam, which I understand is hard. I will have just taken it also. I think she is afraid it will be too much work. Any advice or experiences?
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ
It depends how much you expect of her. I bought my MOH’s dress and only need to her come to rehearsal dinner and the wedding. I did DIY projects, but only alone, with my Fiance, and with my SIL (who wanted to and offered). As long as she is available your wedding day and rehearsal dinner, it shouldn’t be difficult. I was Maid/Matron of Honor to my Maid/Matron of Honor years ago, and I basically bought the dress, a gift, and showed up when she told me to. She did not want a bachelorette party or anything else.
Post # 4
It depends on the bride and her expectations. It sounds like you are pretty laid back about this so just explain that to your friend.
Post # 5
I agree that it really depends on how much you’re expecting of them. My Maid/Matron of Honor got married right before I did, and though I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man, I did a lot of planning with her, and now she is with me. Though, for both we both put a lot of time and energy into help because we both had lots of fun with it. And I think we’re both pretty laid back people, so we were able to have fun with it.
I think ultimately the challenge of it depends on the people involved.
Post # 6
She is probably worried that studying for her bar and being busy she may not be able to meet your expectations – if you tell her that is all you expect of her than perhaps she wont be so hesitant. Although if that is all you want – make sure you really only expect that and not get irritated down the road that she isnt fulfilling her Maid/Matron of Honor duties
Post # 7
@MrsCoachBtoBee: I have been maid of honor two times and there were many occasions where a time commitment was expected of me (going with the bride to look for her dress, dress fittings, hair/make-up trial, etc). Also, planning and attending the bridal shower(s) and bachelorette party. These things usually occurred on weekends and really added up as far as days that I didn’t have free time for myself…so if your friend is in need of studying time then this might be something she’s afraid of. I’d explain to her that your not expecting much of her so she doesn’t need to worry….just be there for you on the day of! Maid/Matron of Honor is an honor and I can’t believe people would refuse! I hope she says yes!
Post # 8
Thanks for the responses! We have already gotten my dress and looked at some bridesmaids dresses for them and she said she could do that again sometime soon. Then, all that’s left is the bachelorette party and actual wedding. She is of course invited to all showers, etc. but I don’t expect them to travel for that.