How has weddingbee changed since you first started lurking?

posted 2 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 2
Member
42472 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

freshflowers:  It’s funny but I think there is way more snark now. I’m guessing that they don’t have near the moderators that they used to because it seems that violations of the TOS go on for a long time before they are addressed.

Sunday evening in particular, it appears that Bees can get away with anything.

Post # 4
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

* Mods let people get away with more – and everyone keeps pushing the limit.

* I definitely think there’s an influx in people posting a few things, getting their feelings hurt and never posting again which I find hilarious.

* Wayyy more threads about replica dresses. 

Post # 5
Member
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

People close and delete their threads more, they get their feelings hurt more and when they say ” I want an honest opinion….” and they get it they start calling people rude because people don’t agree with the OP.  Also there are alot of of people posting some crazy dilema and everyone gets all worked up and the OP never comes back to their thread. 

Post # 6
Member
42472 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Also therre seems to be some unspoken competition for “Best Thread Title”.

Everything has to be  Invitation Drama! Decor Crisis!  Worst ___ Ever!

Post # 7
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I lurked for two years before I joined (I know…) but I’m glad that there don’t seem to be as many MAJOR HIVE CRISES the way there used to be. You all know what I mean.

I do miss some of the “big name” Bees who used to be on here, there don’t seem to be nearly as many extremely active, recognizable bees. (10K+ posts)

Post # 8
Member
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I’ve noticed a few things, especially after the update.

 

1. People have been so snarky lately

2. Lots of threads getting deleted and/or closed

3. A lot of older posters have left

Post # 9
Member
1344 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Mrs_Purple:  I was going to mention those same things, too. I was a sometimes lurker and still a fairly new bee, but I have definitely noticed a difference in tone. What’s with all the snark? 

Post # 10
Member
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

To me, the difference in tone became noticeable after the new layout rolled out. Moderators were really busy so people could get away with a lot.

Long-time posters had left or stopped posting and there was an influx of newbees who weren’t already familiar with the general overall tone of WB so I think they jumped on the snark wagon when they saw it. (Not all, and nothing wrong with newbees)

It looks like the most active threads are drama related. Not necessarily interesting/fun topics but it’s like people post of seek out threads where they can tell someone off…

Post # 11
Member
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

mildlybookish:  I’m newish too. When I first started lurking here I thought people were so nice, one of the main reasons why I joined. Now threads turn very nasty really quickly, which is why I don’t post a lot. I don’t want something I’ve said to be taken out of context, twisted and then used to argue about etc. I’m not here to fight with anybody, so I just keep quiet! I only hope people who are lurking now aren’t turned off of joining here by the snark, because that aside, it’s actually a wonderful internet community!

 

To kind of answer your question, I actually have no idea why there’s so much snark. I understand that planning a wedding is stressful, but to me that’s no reason to come on here and be nasty to strangers. There’s simply no need for it 

Post # 12
Member
1344 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Mrs_Purple:  It’s nice to meet someone who feels the same way. Even though I’m a member, I still lurk on a lot of threads because I don’t want to get drawn into the drama. The same as you, it seemed like overall the bee was a nice, welcoming community and seemed like a place to get some really good wedding ideas.

Sometimes I feel whenever you state an opinion, you have to qualify it and soothe anyone who may take offense, even if it is just to take offense! And I agree, 100% “There’s no reason to come on here and be nasty to strangers.” 

Post # 13
Member
722 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

mildlybookish:  I do the same and it got me thinking…perhaps it’s the increase in snark that has led to a decrease in posts, which has ultimately led to threads dying quicker? Just a thought…

I imagine that there are a lot of us that mostly lurk now because we’re so concerned that anything we say might be taken out of context and start some crazy drama! Hope things normalize soon. :-/

Post # 14
Member
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

mildlybookish:  I agree, it’s really refreshing to find someone who thinks the same as I do. I’m exactly like you, I’ll read, form an opinion, but won’t comment for the reason/s you cited.

 

Yes! Before every post I make I find myself reading it over and over, wondering if there’s any little thing that can possibly be used to start drama. And then making sure I can 100% stick to my post should drama arise! It can be quite exhausting, which, like I said, is why I usually stay quiet.

 

In my mind, if what I’m posting isn’t what I would say to someone I met in real life, then I’m not going to post it on the internet. It’s amazing what some people will type from behind the security of a screen and username, but wouldn’t dare say to anyone in real life.

Post # 15
Member
1084 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I tend to go through phases of checking in/disappearing on WB ever since our wedding and I swear there’s a different tone almost every time I pop by.

While people seem to be less snarky about material things now than they used to (oh my, the “large” vs “small” ring battles used to be mighty entertaining! and sad.), they still seem to be snarky in general and I haven’t quite put my finger on what the anger has been directed at more recently – though I have seen some interesting threads regarding having/not having children lately. Unfortunately, the internet cloak of anonymity allows people to share nasty opinions that they might not otherwise if their real names and reps were attached to it. 

I will say that I actually miss the days when a thread would build up a lot of momentum and interest (minus the drama). It was nice to have legitimate conversations about things and those seem to fizzle out much faster than they did previously. 

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