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@MissMaryMc: perhaps employ a drink ticket system? Guests all get a certain amount of tickets and must use one each time they go to the bar? That may or may not work depending on your guests.
I would just identify the guests you are worried about to the bartender and to tell them to be mindful when serving these guests. Give them the authority to cut them off if they feel like they have had too much. Do you have a wedding coordinator or planner or family member that could also help to regulate the situation if need be?
WE had the bartenders watching it for us and they decided when someone had enough. Also, we served no shots. Finally, the bartender told my dad that he recommended the bar be shut off at a certain time. Which was fine with me because then everyone started dancing!
FI is a bar manager, so he'll be hiring tenders he works with regularly. I think we can trust them to a certain extent to do what's necessary if people are over-served...but I feel like usually it's hard to tell that until it's too late!
I would think if a person really wanted to drink, they would just get extra tickets from someone who didn't intend to use them. For example, I would maybe have ONE drink, but if I had three tickets, I would obviously have two left over. If someone was that big of a drinker, I would just think they would go to a friend/family member who isn't a big drinker and request their extra tickers.
@Miss Apricot: I agree on the ticket front. And half FI's family doesn't drink, so there would be a lot of extras floating around! That's why I'm moreso looking for "rules" for the bartenders to employ. I don't care if a person wants to have 2 or 10 drinks if they eat enough, wait long enough between drinks and don't get rowdy.
I did drink tickets, but there are other things you can do.
In addition to no shots, no doubles/triples.
Only 1 drink per hand at a time (some people would say only 1 drink, but this way someone can get one for themselves and one for a date or someone with mobility issues).
Don't have any self service, including wine at the tables. If waiters pour it there will be less over-consumption.
Don't do a last call, this is when people will try to have as many drinks as possible in a short time frame.
I simply wouldn't do an open bar. The term 'open' means you don't control it, you know?
To keep costs down we're doing open beer and wine and two signature cocktails. Everything else is up to the guests to cover. No shots, no martinis, no doubles, no straight ups/rocks pours... unless you want to pay for it. I think it's fair... everyone should find something they like from our offerings.
No shots is definitely the way to go, and also, you could shut down the bar for the last half hour with a "only one drink per person" rule for "last call." Also, if your bartenders are licensed and insured (which, you should definitely look for - if they're provided through your venue/caterer, they should be, but double check to be sure), they will have received training in how to spot an intoxicated person and will, in their own interest, be looking to make sure people are cut off when they need to be. Also, as a PP said, you can point out certain people to your bartenders/maitre d'hotel/catering manager - they are usually pretty good at looking out for those things, especially if your manager is employed by the venue, since they don't want to overserve someone and then get sued either! good luck!
Any bartender should have gone through training and will/should know when to cut a person off. Establish the no shots/doubles/triples. And let them take care of it, that's their job. I would put a cut off time in place and make sure that coffee and water are in abundance at that time.
We will be offering a full, top shelf bar. No signature cocktails, other than Retro Cocktails like; Manhattans, Tom Collins, Side Cars, Martinis, Gimlets, and the Old Fashioned! These will be ready-to-pour with a Mixologist on staff that will make the drinks fun and not a free for all. He will be doing a show presentation and even dressed in vintage bartending clothing. The company he comes from let us know that they will not serve drunk people.
It's not open, there are limits. We are limiting shots to toasts. We will have two occasisions where people can do a shot or champagne during a group toasts. We also will be shutting the bar down early (for us) and offering bottle waters, Italian sodas, and barista-made coffee drinks with a huge, ornate espresso machine before guests depart. We are hoping that the presentation of drinks will encourage people drink with class and responsibly.
A good bartender will be able to help you with this. Talk to your venue about your concerns and they should be able to handle it. We weren't allowed to do shots at your venue - and the bartender was experienced at reading people.
At our wedding we only served wine and beer, people didn’t seem to mind too much. Our venue offered unlimited beer, wine and soda for $12 a person. Another good system is drink tickets. You can give everyone two, that way people can’t really get drunk but can have some drinks.
Is your concern the cost or just certain people not being able to control themselves?
Personally, Most weddings that I have been to have had an open bar and have had no issues with unruley drunks or anything. Yes, people were drunk, but no one was ever driving home drunk or making a scene in the place. I've never seen shots done at weddings, maybe because I wasn't doing them.
We're planning to provide transportation, so I'm not so worried about that...mostly just behavior.
Thanks for all the advice! you guys have some great ideas!
Beer and wine before and during dinner. No shots, doubles, or triples. Hard Alcohol once dancing begins.
This is tricky if you are having a full open bar all night. There will be people who get drunk, it's hard to avoid honestly. You can always ask the bartenders to water down drinks for people who already look sloshed, or to cut them off. But I wouldn't recommend cutting them off unless they are really behaving badly or something.
Honestly, I knew people were getting drunk at my wedding, but the last thing I wanted was for the staff to 'alert' me to it on my wedding day. I was even kind of angry when DH adn I went to bed for the night and the guy watching the after party bar asked if he could cut people off who looked drunk and he asked if he could shut the bar down 2 hours early. I was mad because it's THEIR responsibility, not mine, to determind if someone needs to be cut off - I wasn't serving the drinks. So why the hell did they bother ME about it ON MY WEDDING NIGHT??? Second, we paid for the bar to be open until a certain time, don't try to wiggle your way out of giving us what we paid for. And how dare they even ask me about that, the bride!
We had full open bar all night, and our venue's coordinator told us beforehand that the bartenders and staff would constantly check to make sure nobody was too drunk, and not serve guests who appeared to be over the limit. My venue also had a "no shots" policy, but our friends were doing shots at the bar just by ordering individual liquor drinks in rocks glasses with a single ice cube in each one (so it's technically a "drink" and not a "shot").
We also had open bar at our rehearsal dinner the night before (nobody was doing shots but there was plenty of beer, wine, and liquor) and one of our groomsmen almost got a DUI on the way home--pretty scary to get a text at 2 AM the night before your wedding that your best guy friend thinks he's headed to jail!
And tell your friends to take a taxi, get a DD to drive them in a carpool, spend the night nearby if possible, etc. If you can afford it, get a bus or two to shuttle your friends and family between the reception and their hotels.
have you talked to your bartender about it? in many states, it is the bartender's legal obligation to make sure people have not had too much, and must cut them off if they feel like it's necessary.
like a PP mentioned, point out the potential offenders to your bartender and ask him/her to keep an eye on them.
We had an open bar for the whole night. What we did to cut down on cost/crazy drunkeness:
-No shots. Peeps were able to get a straight scotch, for example, if they wanted...but no shots.
-Only had one type of red and one type of white wine. This way, the bartenders were opening bottles (we had to pay by the bottle) but you didn't have some people having Cab. Sauv. and others Merlot. This equals waste. Just keep it simple. I also think that it's completely fair to have just a sample of mixed drinks/wine/beer/signature drinks available. That's what I had planned, but my parents insisted on the completely open bar.
-Last call happened an hour and fifteen mintues before we wanted everyone out of the venue. People did not double-fist.
-Trust the bartenders to do their job. You don't want to be worried about consumption, etc. on your wedding day. Depending on where you have your wedding, you are not legally responsible, THEY are.
People had a good time at our wedding...but there was no over-the-top insanity. Most people are mature enough to keep it together.
EDIT- I also know people who had an open bar but had a cap on it. They ended up putting more money into the bar, but you could always do this and then move to cash bar....OR just serve non-alcoholic drinks if you are really concerned.
Make sure the bartenders you hire aren't too friendly with the people you think may go overboard. Beyond that, no shots/doubles/triples and closing the bar at a certain time is the best you can do to regulate. The rest is up to the servers.
Personally, open bars have gotten the best of me many a time (although it never resulted in a problem at the weddings). I think it's because the drinks are So. Strong. Maybe you can caution your bartenders against a heavy hand?
As a side note, a friend of ours got "cut off" at our wedding because he slide across the top of the bar. Sadly, I didn't get to see this impressive display. He was not drunk, just being rowdy. Lots of people were surprised at how much they "enjoyed themselves" (our wedding was destination at a much higher altitude than our guests were used to) but everyone behaved overall. I guess my point is, tell the bartenders who to keep an eye on and don't worry too much about everyone else.
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FI and I will be having an open bar, but I'm looking for some ideas on how to have some amount of control over it. There are several guests whose consumption worry me a bit!
I went to a wedding where they refused to serve shots and will definitely do that...any other ideas? The people I'm most worried about are a few who drink their liquor straight (if that helps at all).