(Closed) How have you changed since meeting your fi?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We first started dating in college when we were only 20 years old. Since then, we have graduated and starting working full time. We don’t party anymore, and really prefer to be at home. So yes, we have changed. But that is just life.

Post # 4
1566 posts
Bumble bee

I like this question! Fiance changed me in a lot of ways: I’m less of a neat freak now, and more relaxed about small issues in general. I’m calmer, less selfish, and less demanding. Not claiming that Fiance made me perfect or anything, but definitely helped me make some improvements on these weaknesses.

On the downside, I watch more TV now – I used to never be into it, but Fiance grew up watching a ton of TV, so he is slowly converting me. 

Post # 5
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Before Evan, I was scared to really give my all and dive into a lifelong dream and passion of making music a fulltime career. I was on the brink of it when he met me when I was playing a show with my old band, but still held back when it came to taking complete control of my destiny. Since meeting him, I’ve quit everything that wasn’t good for my emotional balance and have stopped holding myself back. He has no idea the strength that he has given me to move forward to take the reigns.

We also partied quite more than we do now, but we also had less responsibilities then. That’s all relative and pretty expected…and I’ve never nested with anyone else so that is a huge change for me.


A good change. 🙂

Post # 6
2404 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

well we started dating when i was 16, him 17. We have definitely changed throughout the years!!!!! lemme tell ya!

For the Better : Hes made me more confident in myself, i’m less of a worry-wort ( however i have pretty substantial anxiety issues so thats all relative ), i’m more of a homebody now ( in HS i was all about the parties ) , i’m more career-driven and i’m way less selfish. 

For the worse : i’m way more of a homebody (sometimes ya need to get out ), i have alot less friends (unfortunately in HS i spent all my time with Fiance and less with the friends i had), i’m more of a big dork.

ha! i think some of these are just changes that have occurred because of growing up though too! we always wonder what it would have been like meeting each other now at 27 and not having our “past”.


Post # 8
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’ve changed only for the positive since getting together with Fiance. I am sooo much more caring, honest, patient, respectful, loving, neat than I ever was. I think about how my actions are going to affect people before acting. I’m able to calm myself down before having an angry fit or acting irrationally (which I still do, just not as bad). I think I have a lot more compassion for people too which has lead me to be more respectful to friends and family.

Haha, I know mine is kind of deep! Sorry! I guess caring for another human as much as I care for Fiance really opens up all these deep emotions I never really used before. It’s also nice to have someone share my passions for traveling, reading, intellectual conversation, wine, etc.

Post # 9
2404 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@MandyW- aww thanks! yeah, sometimes we think of how crazy it is, we can’t remember not being together.  In a few more years i’ll have been with him half my life! yowzaa.

we definitely have grown up together for sure… its been really fun! hes my best bud for life.Cool

Post # 10
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Mainly my appearence has changed since meeting Fiance, i have a lot more tattoos thank to him.  He is a aspiring tattoo artist!

Post # 11
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My Fiance has helped me to be more confident in myself.  I have a bad habit of morphing into a different person according to who I’m around, according to what they think is best.  My Fiance has helped me to see that there is just as much value in what I think and feel as there is in what everyone else thinks and feels.  Now I’m much more, just ME, with everyone.  I really appreciate that.  🙂

Post # 12
485 posts
Helper bee

I have changed and grown in so many ways since I met my Boyfriend or Best Friend, all of them positive. To mention a few; I am now a lot more caring, loving, affectionate and considerate than before, and I also feel a lot happier with myself & who I am, I am also learning to be more patient (as I am really quite a stubborn and impatient person by nature). The change in me I like the best is how affectionate I have become.

Post # 13
34 posts
  • Wedding: August 2010

HA! How HAVEN’T I changed??

We met in 1996 – I was 21, he was 19. Both of us were living for the moment, doing whatever pleased us right then. We hooked up for all the wrong reasons, and got married in 1999. Big mistake! Neither one of us was grown up enough.

So how did I change? I went from a hot little thing to weighing 250 lbs (amazing what a few years of emotional eating will do!) first and foremost.

Long story short, we split up in 2001 due to his unwillingness to grow up; he still wanted to live like a single man while enjoying the benefits of marriage.

Fast forward 5 years – 2006 now, we’re back in touch. I have been on my own and become a successful businesswoman, confident and taking no BS from anyone! Still overweight, but learned to be beautiful in spite of it (before I was just a frump).

We’re getting remarried in August, on our original anniversary. It’s been a long road, but the changes that both of us have gone through over the years have been fundamental to bringing us to where we are today.

Yay us!

Post # 14
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

When I met Fiance I was already out of undergrad and half way through law school so I think a lot of those normal “growing up” type changes had already happened, but I think I have changed in a few ways. First– I used to hate to cook and now I kind of like it. I’m also a bit more emotional now.. I used to be more of a closed-off type person but with him I am actually somewhat emotional about things. I think that I learned to be a little more patient. I also think I learned how to not keep score (or not do it so much). 

Post # 15
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

We were only 14 when we started dating, so we’ve both changed a lot: 

-I’ve grown up. I used to have a “me, me, me” mentality. I’ve realized that not only was that frustrating to people around me, but I’m much happier when I can take control of my own happiness instead of depending on others for it. 

-My passions have changed. I loved literature and writing, and I never thought I’d be passionate about science. But Psychology and Biology amaze me, and while I still appreciate good literature, I enjoy “geeky” reads as well. 

-My identity has changed. I was always liberal, but I’ve become more realistic than idealistic… I stand firm in my beliefs, but I’ve seen more of the world. In this vein, R and I were both very Lutheran when we met and started dating, and over the past few years we both (fairly independently) went through a time of spiritual limbo, ultimately ending in non-faith and a stronger amazement of science. 

-I believe in myself and stick up for myself. I had a very low self-esteem when we started dating. I wanted to be thin and active, but I was too afraid to do the things that looked fun to me. I constantly worried I’d look stupid, etc. He showed me that he loves who I am, and that helped me to not worry about what others think. On this track, 

-I took back what was important to me. R supported me going back to horseback riding, which my mom banned me from doing at the age of 13, after 5 years of riding, because she doesn’t like horses. They’re one of my great passions, and I was miserable for the 4 years I lived at home without them. 

I find it interesting that peoples’ criticism of early marriage usually stems from “but you’re changing so much, how will you know that you can still be compatible?” – we’ve clearly gone through major changes in the time we’ve been together, but what helped us come out stronger for them is that we leaned on each other for support, and kept open communication. We never expected the other person to change, or assumed that they’d conform to the others’ wants or needs. Instead, we grew together because we wanted to, and because we love something about each other that is much bigger than the little details. 

Post # 16
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would say the con is that I’m much more of a high maintenance girl now.  I used to cook, clean: be my own keeper.  But now my Fiance loves to cook, so he makes all our meals and since he thinks the kitchen is “his” territory he also cleans up in there.  Fiance is willing to hop up and get me water if I’m laying in bed and mention I’m thirsty, so I tend to have all  my whims catererd to.  It’s nice, but I do feel sloth-like every once in awhile.

On the plus, I’m much more honest, open and willing to reach out to people.  Before Fiance I had a hard time trusting anyone, feeling confident, talking about my feelings.  My relationships with my family and my friends has improved because of how I’ve grown emotionally thorugh loving and being loved by my Fiance.

The topic ‘How have you changed since meeting your fi?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors