How honest do you want people to be when giving opinions on your choices?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: How honest do you want people to be when giving opinions on your choices?
    Honest and blunt as possible. I don't want to make any mistakes, no matter how small. : (15 votes)
    12 %
    Honest enough to help me avoid MAJOR mistakes, tactful enough to respect my taste. : (104 votes)
    82 %
    No honesty, I need people to encourage me with my choices or I'll second guess myself forever. : (6 votes)
    5 %
    Other... : (2 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    6525 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I don’t care what anyone has to say about my wedding. Nothing. Its my wedding. As long as my fiance and myself are happy, I am happy LoL

    Post # 4
    Member
    582 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    @Demi-chan:   You should do what makes YOU happy.  Pick the song you like, because it’s your day.  Who cares what MOH thinks about the song, she’s not the one who has to dance to it.

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    3199 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @Demi-chan: if it’s an unsolicited opinion, i don’t want to hear it at all, actually. if i’ve asked, i want people to be 100% honest.  

    Post # 6
    Member
    3199 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @Demi-chan:  ps, dance to the song you want. FI and i are dancing to a song that is very odd as a first dance song, but its ‘our’ song, and we’re stickin’ to it. 😉

    Post # 7
    Member
    4576 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    99.8% of first dance songs, no matter what people tell the bride and groom, and crazy cheesy and played-out. It just is what it is, and I’m sure everyone will say the same about ours. So don’t let that deter you.

    I’m trying to think of a way to phrase this that doesn’t paint me as arrogant…but I really don’t ask for peoples opinions on much of anything. Maybe something truly serious where I need sound advice, but things like wedding details, no. And people don’t volunteer their opinions on my choices either at this point, because the response they are met with is usually cold at best. I simply do not care.

    However, I am a massive hypocrite when it comes to people asking my opinion. I desperately do not want to hurt anyones feelings on things that are issues of personal taste, like decor or music or dress. It’s your life, do as you please. If someone had picked a hideous dress and loved it, I would lie through my teeth and tell them it’s fabulous. If they pressed me further, I would very, very gently give input. But right out of the gate? I will lie to spare feelings.

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @badabing88:  +1. I don’t ask for opinions on wedding related stuff because the only opinions that matters are my own and FI’s. In general, I make the best decisions that I’m capable of making and I don’t open myself up to judgement because I know not everyone will agree with me. I don’t want to second guess myself, so I just don’t ask. Unsolicited advice is generally met with coldness too.

    Having said that, I do ask FI’s opinion before I make big decisions because he is my life partner and how he feels matters. Anyone else who just thinks they are the expert on my life? Not so much. I do have trusted folks I go to – mostly my siblings – if I need a dose of perspective, but I don’t discuss my relationship with anyone other than FI. If I do ask though, I want the truth (even if it’s hard to hear). When I’m asked, I give the truth as I see because I can’t lie.  

    Post # 9
    Member
    926 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @MrsPanda99:  +1. 

    I don’t volunteer any wedding information to anyone, unless they ask.  Part of it because I don’t like talking about me me me, and partly because I don’t need to know what anyone else thinks. I’ll never post anything on here asking for opinions or what would you do type scenarios.  If you like something, that’s all that matters.  It’s your personal choice, and not everyone has the same taste/style.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1696 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    When I was younger, I pussyfooted around issues and didn’t want to hurt people’s feelings. Eventually, I realized it didn’t help anyone out. It was poor communication.

     

    I am very blunt. I am overly polite and try to be tactful, but when directly asked for my input on something, I will speak up. If my opinion is not invited, I’ll perhaps be nicer about it, but when asked for an honest opinion? That’s what they get.

     

    I want the same from other people. I do as I want done to me.

    Post # 11
    Member
    3736 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @badabing88:  I really don’t ask for peoples opinions on much of anything. Maybe something truly serious where I need sound advice, but things like wedding details, no.


    This. Your wedding, your choice.

    Post # 12
    Member
    7281 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    People were not allowed to voice opinions on my decisions in the first place. I’ve planned complicated events before and I know how to throw a damn good party where my guests are well taken care of. Since I knew what I was doing, I felt no need to solicit opinions from anyone, and they all knew me well enough to know that their opinions were to be kept to themselves.

    Post # 14
    Member
    4760 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @Demi-chan:  now I’m curious what your song is?

    I didn’t really have this problem becasue I don’t really care what people think.  most things I did not ask anyone’s opinoions on, except FI.  He is the only one who matters in this.  People did want me to change color scheme, I didn’t.

    I did poll friends about which jewlery I should wear.  All but SIL said the one I did not chose! Whaatever, it’s YOUR decision.  Stop dwelling on what people think.

    Post # 15
    Member
    11300 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @MrsPanda99:  I don’t ask for opinions on wedding related stuff because the only opinions that matters are my own and FI’s.

    This. I did ask for my FMIL’s help dress shopping and picking flowers because I know fuck all about flowers, but it is for this very reason that we are choosing to keep certain details to ourselves.

    As far as honesty goes, I want the truth but don’t be an asshole. IF I ask for your opinion, it’s because I want your thoughts, but be tactful about it. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    8418 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Eh, I prefer brutal honesty.  If something I picked out sucks, tell me it sucks.  Then again, when I planned my wedding I didn’t use magazines, pinterest, wedding planner, wedding shows, etc.; it was easier just to think of my own ideas.

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