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How I got married in one month for less than $200 + my wedding hype opinion

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    zmonet    September 8, 2011  

    No need to adjust your screen or go get your glasses; that title is correct. I planned my wedding in one month and spent less that $200 on it. How you ask.... Well I kept it simple; very simple.

    I was sitting at home one day and was thinking about how stressed I was already about planning my "dream wedding." Every little nagging detail pushed me closer and closer to the edge. It jus didn't make sense to me. Why would I be miserable planning the happiest day of my life? Why should I sacrafice my happiness and my sanity planning a day that is supposed to be for me and my husband but so quickly turned into what the guests will need. It really hit me hard because I am a hard core people pleaser and I promised myself that I would not start my new married life pleasing other people and here I was already worrying about what everyone else needs.

    I remember going to price a wedding venue after finally making my rough draft of a guest list. It came out to be about 150-200 people including a 18 person bridal party. And that was if we sent invitaions out to just family and maybe 10 close friends. The lady who was giving us our tour of the venue said something that I will never forget;" When you sit down and add up how much everything is going to cost and then divide the cost by how many people are coming, its as if you are paying for them to come to your party." We calculated it and even with us cutting back on a few things we wanted we would have been paying about 250 per person to sit in the seats we payed for, watch the ceremony we paid for, bein the pictures we were paying for, eat the food and dessert we paid for, drink the drinks we payed for and dance the night away to the music that we als paid for. All so they can compliment us, give us a toaster and go home. It just didn't seem right.

    Fast forward a few months and we have finished our counseling. Now the only thing that stands between us and having the blessing of being husband and wife is a marriage license. As much as I wanted a big wedding being surrounded by my family and friends and laughing and dancing with all of them that wasn't essential. That's not what weddings are(or should be) about in my opinion. Yes it is a time to celebrate but does spending $40,000 on a wedding and getting in debt make you any more married than someone who spends $200 dollars? I know alot of people say its the memories of all the peole there and having everyone around you makes it all worth while, but I can honestly say that my husband is what made it worth while; and thats how it should be. It was nice to have family there don't get me wrong but he was all that mattered to me that day.

    I guess what I am trying to say is don't get sucked up in all the hype of having a designer dress, and a grand venue, and the best photographer, and all the other stff people tell us we need in order to have a "real wedding". Sure it is your day to feel special but you have the rest of your life to spend with somone who loves you and will make you feel special every single day. I am beyond satisfied with my wedding and I honestly wuld not change one thing about it.

    Remember: "Weddings don't last but marriages do; stay focused."- Pastor Kenneth Wilson

    Here are the details to my wedding and how I stayed under $200 dollars:

    Dress from Forever 21: $30.00

    Earrings from BSS: $5.00

    Shoes: $20.00

    Hubby's Suit: $100.00

    Bouquet(made by my mommy): $15.00

    The chapel(the same chapel where my mommy and daddy got married) was free because my daddy was an alumni there and my god-father is an alumni who still works there.

    No cocktail hour, no reception, no cake, no dancing, and I still had the best stress-free time of my life!!!

    Here are some pics that were taken by family members.

    Hope you enjoy!!

     

    P.s. I am so glad that I went ahead and got married because my grandmother, who I helped take care of after she had her stroke, was there to see me get married before she passed away 16 days later. I love you big mama!!

    How I got married in one month for less than $200 + my wedding hype opinion :  wedding wedding ceremony budget reception guest list diy stress 302597 2194760263380 1078380018 32517760 2033859036 NHow I got married in one month for less than $200 + my wedding hype opinion :  wedding wedding ceremony budget reception guest list diy stress 301317 795690453212 42112296 38605124 691537174 NHow I got married in one month for less than $200 + my wedding hype opinion :  wedding wedding ceremony budget reception guest list diy stress 292028 794306042582 42112296 38592290 270224108 NHow I got married in one month for less than $200 + my wedding hype opinion :  wedding wedding ceremony budget reception guest list diy stress 295918 2339722943099 1550671152 2552617 208796104 NHow I got married in one month for less than $200 + my wedding hype opinion :  wedding wedding ceremony budget reception guest list diy stress 293163 795697978132 42112296 38605236 957571513 NHow I got married in one month for less than $200 + my wedding hype opinion :  wedding wedding ceremony budget reception guest list diy stress 294112 794303472732 42112296 38592272 1646328188 NHow I got married in one month for less than $200 + my wedding hype opinion :  wedding wedding ceremony budget reception guest list diy stress 295977 795700458162 42112296 38605272 450085091 NHow I got married in one month for less than $200 + my wedding hype opinion :  wedding wedding ceremony budget reception guest list diy stress 296501 795691965182 42112296 38605143 479986559 NHow I got married in one month for less than $200 + my wedding hype opinion :  wedding wedding ceremony budget reception guest list diy stress 300534 795691206702 42112296 38605131 1987695135 NHow I got married in one month for less than $200 + my wedding hype opinion :  wedding wedding ceremony budget reception guest list diy stress 300749 795694709682 42112296 38605184 489269592 NHow I got married in one month for less than $200 + my wedding hype opinion :  wedding wedding ceremony budget reception guest list diy stress 304469 795700318442 42112296 38605269 863491766 NHow I got married in one month for less than $200 + my wedding hype opinion :  wedding wedding ceremony budget reception guest list diy stress 306827 795691456202 42112296 38605135 1582093857 NHow I got married in one month for less than $200 + my wedding hype opinion :  wedding wedding ceremony budget reception guest list diy stress 312090 795693881342 42112296 38605171 335112145 NHow I got married in one month for less than $200 + my wedding hype opinion :  wedding wedding ceremony budget reception guest list diy stress 320858 795691321472 42112296 38605133 1723188796 N

     

     

     
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    xshellx2003    April 30, 2011   Ohio

    You look beautiful! Good for you for not spending so much money on something that isn't necessary. Congratulations!!!! 

     
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    2ndtime    April 16, 2011  

    You are a very wise young woman!  Congratulations!

     
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    mink    June 2012   Charlottesville, Virginia

    Congratuations! You look lovely! It's wonderful that you planned an event with a budget that made you comfortable. I love seeing everyone's creative ways to stay within their budgets. :)

    I hope I have misinterpreted your attitude towards those who decided to walk a different path when it comes to guest list size and budget. We are happy to host our friends and family at our wedding and have enjoyed the planning process, too!

     
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    Eva Peron    November 2011  

    LOVE IT!!!

     

     
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    jo.lee    September 10, 2011   Indianapolis

    I love that you loved your wedding, and it looks like it was gorgeous! Just remember that everyone has different reasons for wanting a wedding and reception :). 

    For me, the year I spent planning my wedding with my mom was kind of a way for us to let go since I had lived at home almost my whole life and I went to college just 30 minutes away. I'm glad you had your dream wedding!

     
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    MademoiselleL    August 24, 2012   Vancouver, BC (wedding in Maui)

    @mink: I did not interpret any type of negative attitude towards others in her post.

    Good for you for doing it the way you wanted to; it looks beautiful.

     
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    ebet24    May 20, 2012   Nashville, TN

    You look gorgeous! Congrats on your marriage and not getting sucked into all the details of a wedding!!!

     
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    ErinCC    February 12, 2013  

    You look so HAPPY. :) And that's what matters most of all.

    I am definitely stressing about all the expenses too, I originally only thought we would spend 3,000 but now it seems that will only cover the dress (which I already purchased) and venue. I love the church you got married in and it's so great that it's where your parents got married too. I just wish I could figure out how I'm going to have the day I want and afford it.

     
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    Juliepants    June 2, 2012   Ontario

    @mink: I understand what you were saying because when I read the line "All so they can compliment us, give us a toaster and go home", I realized that the OP and I must have some different ideas about weddings and guests.

    However, OP, you looked absolutely gorgeous and I'm so glad you were able to have the wedding of your dreams without breaking the bank!  Your day looked lovely, congratulations. :)

     
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    Earlybride    October 6, 2012  

    I love it too. :) Congrats!

     
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    AmeliaBedelia    March 3, 2012   Georgia

    That is such a sweet story! Made me tear up a little about your grandma. I'm glad you got everything you wanted out of your day! You looked beautiful.

     

     
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    Mrs.Estep    December 11, 2010   VA

    You looked so beautiful and you and your hubby look so happy! My hubby and I also Had a low key wedding and it was the best day of our lives! A very  wise choice indeed!

     
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    Cash000    December 2, 2011   Canada

    Aw, I love this! I love your dress! What a steal too. I kind of wanted a nice, low key cotton dress like that. But the dress I wore was one my husband had his eye on for a while, so I got it for him. You are very beautiful, and you and your husband make a very handsome couple!!

    Congratulations :)

     
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    tksjewelry    June 25, 2011   Omaha

    That honestly may have been one of my favorite recaps.  You looked so lovely and so in love.  Congrats MRS! 

     
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    Wonderstruck    September 18, 2011   Detroit, MI

    I'm glad you're happy, it looks like a nice wedding. But I think you're being kinda judgemental towards those who do want a big traditional wedding, and that doesn't sit well with me.

     
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    Lemma    June 9, 2012   Ontario

    "[I]ts as if you are paying for them to come to your party." 

    Of course it is! And that's exactly the way it should be! You're the host of the party and your guests are the people you care about. It would be very wrong for it to be the other way around.

    I think you had a beautiful wedding and it's wonderful that you did it in the way that worked for you. Please just be careful about sounding critical of other people's choices. Some of us think it's worth it to pay for our guests to join us in celebrating. They give us far more than just a toaster; they give us their presence.  

     
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    ajswedding    June 15, 2012  

    First off, What a beautiful couple!

    My reason for wanting what I consider a medium size wedding (about 150 people) is that I many quite a few friends who thought they didn't want a wedding, two kids later and their singing the blues, trying to plan a wedding that quite honestly know one cares as much about anymore because that ship has sailed. I've always felt that a wedding is a once in a lifetime experience that should be shared. I don't want to get married, have kids and then wish I would have had the wedding. Yes, it is a lot of money for us but money is materialistic and comes and goes with the wind. I've always dreamt of my wedding since the time I was a little girl and having the perfect groom to share that special day with makes it worth it so much more.

    p.s. I am so glad for you that your grandma was able to be there on a day so special for you.

     
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    winerygirl    February 2012  

    I agree with some of what you are saying: it's very easy to get sucked into the wedding hype and think everything that's part of the wedding "template" is required... cake, limo, DJ etc etc. I agree with you that it's about the marriage.

    I disagree with you about it being like "you are paying for them to come to your party." That's how hosting an event works. When I invite friends over for dinner I'm not trying to break even or make a profit from them, as I'm not running a restaurant.  I just want to enjoy their company and provide them with a nice meal.

     
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    Firie    September 21, 2012   Australia

    YAY, thats awesome.  We are keeping as many costs to a minimum as possible.  We asked each other what was REALLY important about the Wedding as well.  I really wanted nice photos, because we have NONE of us together,  And he wanted a small party to get together with his mates he hasn't seen in years.

    So we are just having a small thing at home, very relaxed and casual.  I am super excited.  But we will be spending more than $200.  Its going to costs us $600 alone for the marriage licence and celebrant fees.  (would of been $400 if we just went to the registry office).

    But no designer cake, DJ, Limo, Reception Venue, chair sashes and all that hype for us.  Realistically I am hoping to stay within a budget of 3000 - 4000.  Half of that being for a photographer.

     
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    bklynbridetobe    December 2011   Brooklyn Born

    You look beautiful. I'm so happy your grand mother was able to attend. Thank you for sharing.

     
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    DeadUtopia    September 15, 2012   San Antonio

    I'm happy that you had a wonderful day and I do agree that the marriage is so much more important than the wedding.You guys look so happy in the pictures, and the story about your grandmother must mean so much to you! It's very wise to not fall into the void of everything wedding related that magazines and websites tell us we *need.*

    BUT, even if it were a small wedding, I can't imagine not hosting my guests (no matter how few) to something as simple as cake and punch after the ceremony. Even on the strictest of budgets, paper plates, plastic cups, disposable forks, a sheet cake and gallons of punch from Walmart for 20 people might be $50 at most. It may have saved you money, and your guests may not have minded, but from an outsider's perspective that seems a little rude (from an etiquette standpoint, not a wedding industry standpoint.) I still think you had a beautiful day, but this is just something that stuck out to me.

     
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    ladyartichoke       UK

    You look beautiful!  Congratulations to you and your husband.  Well done you for keeping to the necessities.

     
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    ItsHollyAgain    May 26, 2013   Cleveland, Ohio

    You look gorgeous!! I love the picture of you and your husband (it looks like its during your vows) - you can see clear as day how much love is there. These are some of teh sweetest wedding photos I've ever seen. I'm so glad that you were able to get married and have your grandmother there. My grandmother helped raise me, and is one of the most amazing people I've been blessed enough to know and one of the few regrets I've ever had in life is that she was never able to meet my partner. I would have loved for her to be at my wedding,a nd I know my partner is a guy she would have loved.

     
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    hobbitsvselves    September 29, 2012  

    Lovely pictures! You basically had my dream wedding, except I probably would've wanted to provide some food for the guests. I think it's fine not to, though, so long as your guests know what to expect.

     
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    7mom    August 4, 2015   MD

    Congrats, you look beautiful and happy.

    We are having an intimate wedding and we want to spoil are family and friends with great food and a great time. Our family and friends have supported us as well as our relationship and our wedding celebration is our way of saying thank you.

     
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    jumpthegun    June 23, 2013  

    It's great that you were able to have the wedding that made you happy. It is VERY IMPORTANT that people don't go overboard and stress themselves out over an event that is supposed to be happy (being stressed makes no one happy, am I right?). However, a wedding with "No cocktail hour, no reception, no cake, no dancing" is not our vision of our wedding, so we will gladly spend money to get all the cake and dancing that we need to have a good time, with all our friends and family that can possibly make the trip. Everyone should do what is best for them! If I were to start stressing, I would scale down the size or cut stuff out, too. But this is the one time in my life I can have a huge party (nobody travels across the world for a birthday party) so I am going to throw the best party possible within our budget, not for the guests, but for US to be able to spend time with the people who love us and want to have a good time with us. They don't even have to bring us a toaster.

     
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    Miss Longcoat    March 31, 2012   Woodbridge, VA

    Congratulations; you looked absolutely radiant.

     
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    Mrsgurzakovic    June 7, 2012  

    I wish there was a like button on here. I love your reasoning behind the whole thing and to me, your 100% right...We do believe in the hype so much and believe to be happy we need to spend this much and do this much, and we end up being stressful for a day that is supposed to be about all happiness. I love what you did and I think its lovely!! your pictures are so beautiful and I can sense peace and happiness! you look glowing!!

     

    Good luck!!

     

    and Im sorry about your grandma.. Im glad she got to experience one of the best days of your life.. :(

     
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    jpalm13    December 21, 2012  

    First off, your wedding story is wonderful.  Given our current times, I think you and your hubs have your heads on straight and a bright, beautiful future ahead of you!

    Second, I don't feel she was being snarky in any way. That's her opinion about the hooplah of a modern wedding. IMO modern weddings are a bit ridiculous. Look at your parents' weddings and see what has changed.

    Third, watch that silly "Leap Year" movie. The wedding in that movie changed my mind about the large party. There is some so sweet, warm and heartfelt about the small wedding.

     
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    LoveMySailor1018    March 17, 2012   Hampton, VA

    I absolutely love this. You and your hubby look SO happy and it's amazing you only spent $200. It's making me wish I would've gone that route... gosh!

    Congratulations!

     
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    GroovyHippieChick    October 20, 2012   My Happy Place

    It's nice that you had the ceremony you wanted.  It looks very cute!

     
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    Bellagiobride    September 1, 2012   Chicago

    This is such a beautiful heartwarming story. I am so glad your grandmother lived to see you get married. That is my fondest wish for my own wedding. Blessing to you and your new husband.

     
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    MsAmandaBartels    February 18, 2012   El Campo, TX

    I just got done posting a rant about our wedding budget! We don't make a lot of $ and it's so frustrating when people tell you if you can't afford a wedding you can't afford to get married. WTF?! What happened to marying your soul mate? Your right why should it matter how much $ we spend on one day. I am so glad I read this, this is about the bride and groom and not pleasing everyone. You look sooo beautiful and happy and that is exactly what I want no stress just casual happy bliss. I crunched my #'s too and figured out $pp and it was a shocker, I never would have thought to do that. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for posting this, you are an inspiration.

     
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    MrsWilson2012    December 2012   DW St. Thomas USVI

    Congratulations girl! Glad it all worked out for you =]

     
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    Wonderstruck    September 18, 2011   Detroit, MI

    @jpalm13: No one here would call small weddings or elopements 'ridiculous', so please return the favor by not saying the same about the modern weddings most bees want. Just because it's not what you want does not mean that it is ridiculous.

     
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    DaLadyA    August 4, 2012   Pittsburgh

    @zmonet:  You look gorgeous and happy. I believe that it is about the marriage and not the wedding and I keep having some doubts but when it gets down to it i want to have a lil party. I think some people may have misconstrued what you daid about paying people to come to your party. It was the planner who said this so noone should take offense. All is well in gods eyes and that is all that matters in the end. Be blessed and congrats on your union.

     
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    jpalm13    December 21, 2012  

    @Wonderstruck: I specifically said that its my opinion, as did the OP. Are we not allowed to have the opinion that a modern wedding has gone a bit far?? If someone wants to spend $250 a head their wedding and can justify it-- all the power to them! I'm sure the day will be amazing! Personally, I'd rather have a new car but, again,  that's just me....

     
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    adnama    July 21, 2012   Langley, Britsh Columbia

    Wow, you looked beautiful, congrats :)

     
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    bells    June 26, 2011  

    To each, her own. Some people want to spend thousands and others dont want to. Everyone should  be able to respect other peoples budget choices. There is  no ideal budget because it depends on your financial situation and obligations.

     

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