Post # 1
Hello all, I’m new to this site and forgive me if it’s not in line with forum etiquette to start a thread for your first post, but I’ve noticed there are a LOT of recently engaged women on this and other sites who feel like their ring isn’t good enough. I counted myself among them until recently and thought it might help to share the story of how I got over the feelings of inadequacy and learned to LOVE my little ring.
I got engaged to my beloved of 4 years early last month. All I said about the ring beforehand was that I wanted something in a warm metal color (rose or yellow gold) and didn’t need a full carat as long as the setting and quality were nice. I know I didn’t give him much to go on, but when I saw the ring I was disappointed. I thought he took “Under a carat is fine” to mean “Just get the cheapest ring in the store”!
The insecurity was heightened by the fact that a lot of the small ring acceptance posts I’ve seen say that a small ring looks fine… on a small finger. I’m a size 8 with a .25ct solitaire so where does that leave me?
I was very bitter for a while since I gave up a promising career overseas to be with this man and the symbol he chose to represent our commitment was a tiny bauble. Then one day I forgot to put it on before going to work– and felt totally naked without it! It was then that I realized the ring actually did mean a lot to me. I asked myself if I honestly wanted to trade it in for different ring, and the answer was a resounding no.
It took a lot of time and courage to swallow my pride and learn to love a ring that was different from what I was hoping for, but it feels GREAT to finally love the ring I actually have.
So to all the ladies out there who have been wearing a ring that they think they hate: try going a full day without wearing it. You may be surprised by your true feelings and find that you miss and appreciate your ring more than you’d expect.
Post # 3
Very nice story – I have loved my ring since the moment I laid eyes on it, it’s exactly what I would have picked for myself (apparently he listened closer than I thought!), but I definitely feel nekkid without it!
Post # 4
Love your story. I think many can “learn” from you. I love my ring. I know that he preferred another ring but bought my choice instead. That said, now you cna look forward to anniversary upgrades. 🙂
Seriously, I have turned around and went back home to get my ring because I also feel naked without it. I still look at it sometimes and marvel that he asked me to marry him.
We can get caught up in the maddness sometimes, especially when others offer their opinions on our rings.
Post # 5
What a great story, and a great first post! Welcome to the bee 🙂
Post # 6
Im glad you learned to love it… honestly we all love a beautiful piece of jewelry but at the end of the day its really about the love between the two of you so congradulations and I wish you all the best
Post # 7
Thank you for sharing your story. I wish more women would follow your example. Maybe after reading this story, they will. 🙂
Post # 8
Wonderful story! I would love to see a picture of your ring 🙂
Post # 9
I love this. Thank you for being so honest about your journey! I know many girls on here have admitted their unhappiness with their ring, but it really is about the commitment that you are about to make with the man you love. It’s nice to know that someone who was insecure about their ring was able to embrace it.
Post # 10
@Oribel013690: I’d love to see a picture too!
Thanks for the story. I sometimes have second thoughts on my ring too (the setting, not the stone), but you are right. I’d totally miss it if it were gone and I don’t want another one.
Welcome to the Bee!
Post # 11
What a great story, I’m so happy that you love your ring!! Post a picture?
Post # 12
My ring size (American) is 7, my ring is a .20 princess cut solitaire…and I have very very small hands. Think the size of an average 8 year olds. So tiny, stumpy, fat fingers.
With anything larger than a .50 I feel too self concious about my hands…I get at least 2 comments about them a week anyway! I actually returned my half carat ring for the one I now have. I’m still engaged and my ring sparkles alot, so I’m happy.
Post # 13
I love that you wrote this. I feel that I have been seeing a lot on here lately about people unhappy with their rings. It is dissapointing to think that we live in a world where it is so hard to find someone to spend the rest of our lives with, and yet there are still people that say their ring is not good enough. It makes me sad to think that the actual meaning of an engagement ring is easily overlooked.
When my FI proposed on our 2 year anniversary, he said: “I didn’t buy you a card for this anniversary because your gift says everything.” (The gift being the ring and he knows I always look forward to his cards). That’s what the point of the ring is…it.means.everything. If someone gives you one, it is to symbolize how they feel about you and what you mean to them. Not some flashy gem on your finger to make others notice you or compete to see whose is bigger. Thank you soooo much for writing this post, @MissTillie !!!!
Post # 14
I can understand where you’re coming from but I think you need to be careful not to imply that women who aren’t satisfied with their rings need to get over themselves or swallow their pride. Rings and proposal come with a lot of emotions and history and expectations surrounding them, and it is different for every couple. I hope your story helps someone out, though, and good for you. Welcome to the hive.
Post # 15
Thanks for the support everyone, will post a pic later. I promise!
@Amaryllis I didn’t mean to offend, that’s not what I meant at all! I just wanted to share the story of how I realized my own feelings about my ring and enagement are more important than what society or anyone else says I should have. It really did feel like “getting over myself” because in retrospect my reasons for not liking my ring were pretty selfish.
It’s so wrong that our culture gives women a complex about what kind of ring is acceptable because it leaves so many disappointed when the time finally comes. I’m so glad to have finally broken free of it and I only want to help out others who may need encouragement to feel good about their own rings.
That’s not to say I’m not happy for women who want and recieve big rings, I totally am! It’s just that sometimes we misplace our emotions toward the ring when they’d be better invested in the relationship it represents. It’s great to be happy about your ring, but it’s better to be happy because your engagement regardless of the ring you have!
Post # 15
Whoops, the previous post was doubled. Guess I was a little to hasty with the “submit” button? :