How important are a potential partner's political views?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@freshflowers:  I am, unfortunately, quite ignorant when it comes to politics. FI is the same. I guess we have similar views in that politics are not a big part of our lives?

I agree with you completely here: “…but because political views I think speak to your basic values and priorities as a person”. I think it comes down to this.

Post # 4
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

@PermaStudent:  same, we are both fairly ignorant when it comes to politics. Just isn’t important to us, although we should probably become more educated on the subject!

Post # 5
Member
3119 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think it depends on how strongly either partner feels about politics. My husband and I are both moderately interested in politics and on the same relative side, although he leans a little more to the one side than me. It works fine. But I also dated a guy for a really long time who was the opposite of me and felt pretty strongly about it, and it still worked out fine (definitely wasn’t the reason we broke up). 

I think that if politics is a big part of your life, then yes, you may be better suited with someone who feels how you do. 

Post # 6
Member
1779 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@freshflowers:  For me it’s pretty important that they are the same or at least very similar. We watch the news and read quite regularly and if I comment on something I don’t want to always get into a disagreement about it. 🙂

Post # 7
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I think its not so important that your politcal views line up. THe more critical thing is how you guys express and communicate them. FI and I have different political views but we have come to a truce of sorts and it works for us. But if we were both outspoken about it and fought a lot about it then it would never work out.

Post # 8
Member
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@freshflowers:  My FI and I have almost identical political views, but he does like to play devil’s advocate every time elections come around. It makes for good debate.

The only difference between us really is that he is an “independent” and I’m a card carrying member of my party. If we were to take a political compass quiz, we’d end up close to each other, and he usually votes for my candidate anyway. During the last federal election, he voted another way, and I respect him for it.

In terms of our basic values, they line up for the most part, but this may have to do with the fact that we practically grew up together.

Post # 9
Member
10495 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

but because political views I think speak to your basic values and priorities as a person

I disagree with that to an extent, as people could have similar values and priorities but have different politicial views because they believe that different methods are the best way to achieve the same thing.  That’s what occurs with DH and I on some issues.
 
I think I would have a tough time being with anyone who fell at an extreme position though.  It would have been interesting to see what would have happened if someone was extremely involved in politics as well, I’m not sure if that would have worked well for me or not.

Post # 10
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

You don’t have to agree on everything but it helps to have similar views on the big topics and be able to have civilized discussions about the topics you differ on. I am a dead center of the road moderate while my husband is the typical bleeding heart liberal (progressive). We have great conversations on politics because we differ slightly.

Post # 11
Member
5544 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think it is more to do with how those views affect your life and how strongly you feel about them. I am fairly moderate on pretty much everything,  couple issues I’m not. Dh is mostly apathetic and has a few issues he feels strongly about and luckily they line up mostly. I do think it can be an issue when the political views are extreme opposite because let’s face it, the far left and the far right are both pretty nasty to each other and views that far apart are setting you up for conflict,  especially on hot topic issues. 

Post # 12
Member
1441 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I would have trouble being with someone who was ignorant about politics and didn’t have views.

Post # 13
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee

In Québec the politics is mainly polarized between people who wish we would become an independant country, and people who are against (or simply just don’t feel the need for independance). I couldn’t be with someone who would strongly feel about Québec’s independance as a country and militate for it. I really can’t stand those people and their stupid propaganda against the English (Canadians), against immigration and multiculturalism (which I believe in), all that based on the fact that somewhere in the 18th century France lost against England. I look at New Brunswick which is a good example for us of how both anglophone and francophone cultures have survived and it’s probably the most ”bilingual” of all Provinces in Canada, and it gives me hope. I don’t consider myself threatened by Canada or people who speak English like the people militating for independance try to do. They lack sense of intellectual criticism and I can’t envision being in a relationship with someone who would only repeat texts they learned by heart instead of thinking by themselves, and would always be pessimistic about the future.

I also couldn’t be with a conservative person who would be pro-war or against abortion, and I wouldn’t like to be with someone who feels strongly against homosexuality either. I don’t think it’s linked to a political party in particular, but there are values that I absolutely need to share with my SO. Those would be dealbreakers if not shared.

Post # 14
Member
2687 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

@freshflowers:  I care a little bit about the views (I don’t think I could be with someone who doesn’t believe in gay rights, someone who is pro-life, etc.), but I think what’s more important is that I be able to get along with them and that their views don’t affect us at all. There are some things that my SO and I don’t have the same views on (religion), but we’re both extremely open-minded and welcoming of the other person’s views, so that’s what allows us to work. 

Post # 15
Member
5222 posts
Bee Keeper

It was extremely important to me. I don’t think your views have to align perfectly,  but having an interest in the  world around us was a big deal to me,  especially in a partner. 

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